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The terrible curse of the Hyuuga family

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Summary: Post S8 in BtVS, pre-series in Naruto. Neji makes a wish, Halfrek grants it, Amy has to fix it.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > NarutoDmitriFR763,227074,08512 Aug 114 Nov 11Yes

Extra: of puppets and men

Extra: of puppets and men

Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.

The law that states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction works for magic too: there is a wax for every wane, a stance for every delivery, a supply for every demand... In this particular case meant that when Amy Madison the impromptu wu jen arrived in the elemental countries, someone, or rather something else vanished from those lands: the insanity of Orochimaru-san.

That, perhaps, needs a certain clarification: the Hebi-sannin did not stop being himself, did not stop hating his native village of Konoha, or did not stop being a missing-nin, but there was now something very different about him – he regained his coherence.

What in the name of Kami am I doing here? he wondered, with ‘here’ being the Akatsuki conference room, with the Akatsuki holding a conference at this very moment. I just want to have revenge at Sarutobi-sensei and the rest of the village, plus perhaps achieve immortality and experiment on people for the betterment of science – where does the Leader-sama’s wish of global domination come into it?

The answer was of course obvious (to Orochimaru at any rate): nowhere. And as such, what he was doing here? The answer was – he had no idea and as such he had no reason to stick around here anymore either, so he just got up.

“Orochimaru? And where are you going? We’re not finished,” the Rinnegan-wielding leader of the Akatsuki said sternly.
That decided it. The semi-divine Rinnegan aside, Orochimaru had never been fond of Pein and to hear the other shinobi speak to him as if Orochimaru was his own Kabuto was inconceivable.

“Ah!” Orochimaru replied, “my apologizes. I stood up because I’d been hit by a revelation.”

“What sort of a revelation?”

“I finally realized what this seal I invented does to Sasori-sama!” Orochimaru replied before slamming a C-shaped seal onto Sasori’s chest. “For an ordinary person it just shuts off their emotions, but for Sasori-sama, it transforms his initially wooden parts into steel!”

“It does!” Sasori agreed, looking at his new steely body. “I feel even better, stronger and more perfect than ever!” To prove his point, he took the Akatsuki conference table and tore it apart as if it was made out of toilet tissue. “See?”

“That’s pretty neat!” echoed Hidan, “what else can you do?”

“This,” Sasori replied, before hitting Uchiha Itachi in the head with one half of the table. “See? It’s fun!”

“Hey let me try!” Never let it be said that Hidan didn’t value a good bout of violence. He grabbed the other half of the table and tried to hit Itachi in the head too.

“Oh no you won’t!” Kisame, Itachi’s partner in the Akatsuki snarled, grabbing the first half of the table and blocking Hidan’s strike. “On guard!”

As Hidan and Kisame struggled, ‘fencing’ with two halves of the conference table, Orochimaru slipped away unseen from the conference room – but not quite...

* * *

“And where are you going?”

The innocent-sounding question of his partner caught Orochimaru almost flat-footed – almost. His pride and hubris, however, nullified the difference all the same. “I’m leaving the Akatsuki,” he said flatly. “Pein can lead the rest of you to the fulfillment of his dream for all I care – I have my own dreams: Sarutobi dead, Konoha in flames – and I honestly don’t care about the rest.”

“And you’re going to do it all by yourself?” Sasori sceptically asked: Orochimaru’s ego was huge, but surely not that huge?

“Of course not!” Orochimaru replied cheerfully. “I have a long, long plan ahead of me... and it includes taking over Suna by impersonating the Kazekage.”

“What? But I’m from Suna!” Sasori said instinctively.

“Yes, but you’re not the Kazekage,” Orochimaru shrugged as he finished packing, “so you have no interest for me whatsoever.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sasori said slowly, “I mean that Suna is my home village-“

“And mine’s Konoha, what’s your point?” Orochimaru replied glibly before sliding out of the doors, leaving Sasori on his own and with the dark and brooding thoughts of his own.


The End

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