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Plan B

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: The vampires have come out of the coffin... what's a slayer and some hunters to do?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Buffy-Centered > Theme: HumorPatriciaLouiseFR1311,0250283012 Aug 1112 Aug 11Yes
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Supernatural/Southern Vampire Series

Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy or Supernatural. Buffy and related characters belong to Whedon. Supernatural and related characters belong to Kripke. I also don't own the ideas behind the vampires coming out of the coffin or synthetic blood. Those belong to Charlaine Harris.

Warnings: Light swearing

A/N: Just a short little comedic piece. I’m disregarding the Buffy comics in this one. Not because I don’t like them, but it just works easier this way. This is also NOT in the same verse as “Keys to Heaven.” And “##” denotes a scene change. Oh, and the setting for Buffy is past Season 7 and for SPN is before the end of Season 5.



Buffy shook her head, her green eyes narrowed at the television screen. She leaned forward on the plush, fluffy chair as Willow and Xander leaned back in their seats.

“I think we might be in trouble here, Buffy,” Willow said, her eyes wide and very Willow-like in their worry.

Buffy didn’t respond, instead looking over at her one-eyed friend. Xander didn’t spare his limited gaze for her, instead locking it on the news report on the screen. He ran a hand over his dark hair and shook his head.

“What the hell?” he muttered.

Buffy sucked in a deep breath, reaching into her pocket for her cell phone. Willow raised a brow.

“Who are you calling?”

“The Boys,” she answered, typing in the number before pressing it to her ear. “We need to know who’s doing what on this front.”

##

“What do you mean the damn vampires want basic civil rights?” Dean was shouting at the cheap motel’s television screen.

Sam, from his place at the little, circular Formica table, sighed and shrugged.

“The world knows now. There’s not much more we can do, Dean.”

Dean whirled, outraged. He jabbed a thumb in the direction of the television, where a too-pale woman was speaking to the local news anchor about the “glorious” history of the vampire existence.

“Glorious existence my ass,” Dean muttered before turning his attention back to his brother. “And what do you mean that there’s nothing more we can do?”

“If Congress votes to make vampires citizens, then killing one will be the same as killing an innocent. We’ll be charged for murder.”

“Like we haven’t been accused of worse before?”

Sam chuckled, a small grin lighting his face for a moment before he went serious again.

“True. But you know what I’m saying, Dean. If we kill vampires after they’re made citizens, then we’ll be the bad guys.”

Dean’s mouth opened, about to let out another anger-filled rant. However, Sam was spared as his brother’s cell phone went off, and Dean jerked it out of his pocket, shoving it to his ear.

“Hello?” he snapped into it.

“Dean. Judging by the less-than-polite answer, I’m guessing you’ve seen the news.”

“Buffy,” Dean breathed into the phone. “Hell, yeah, I’ve seen it.”

Sam shook his head. Buffy Summers, AKA the Vampire Slayer. The Winchesters had met her at the beginning of the end. That was, when Sam had killed Lilith, bringing down the Biblical Apocalypse on everyone’s heads. She had shown up, claiming she had more experience in the “world is ending” department—which Castiel had later confirmed to be true. Truth be told, the brothers and the slayer had not gotten along very well. They thought she was a little haughty and more than a little flighty. And she had thought that they were nothing but rank amateurs. By the end of it, after both getting a sampling of the other’s fighting skills, they had exchanged cell numbers and declared each other “valuable allies.”

“So, vampires are citizens now. I think this is gonna make our jobs a hell of a lot harder,” Buffy said.
Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing into the phone.

“Sam says that if we were to be caught killing a vamp now, that it would be the same as us mowing down pedestrians in the Impala.”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah, that’s the impression I get. I think that it’s just that people don’t know the difference between a good vampire and a bad one.”

Dean’s lip parted, about to ask what the hell a “good” vampire was when he paused, thoughts of Lenore floating through his mind. He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and we can’t exactly buy airtime to advertise the ‘evil’ of vampires. Oh, damn it,” Dean snapped, his eyes once again on the television. “Have you seen what they’re calling this? ‘Coming out of the coffin’?”

Buffy giggled a little, only to shake it off when Dean did not join in. Clearing her throat to put her “serious” voice back on, she sighed.

“Hey! Didn’t you say that Sam went to law school? I mean, maybe we can send him to D.C. and put up a fight or something.”

“Yeah, I’ll stick Sam in a suit and that’ll work. I don’t think so, Buff. Besides, the FBI thinks we’re dead, and I think the two of us showing up on their turf would be really dumb.”

“Oh, yeah. Wait a minute! Spike and Angel have souls. Maybe we can give all the vampires souls so we don’t have to worry about it!”

Dean didn’t have time to respond before he heard Willow on the other end launch into explain why that wouldn’t work. After a moment, Buffy groaned into the phone.

“Guess that’s a major no. Well, I’m tapped out. What about you? Got any ideas?”

“I say we kill them anyhow,” Dean said, and it was Sam—Buffy had called him “your Willow,” which Sam hadn’t been so happy about—that launched into explaining why that was bad. Finally, Dean held up a hand to stop him.

“Then what? You think we ought to just let them be?”

Sam shrugged. “Well, if they don’t murder innocents anymore… yeah. I’ve been looking up the properties of this synthetic blood, and it’s pretty amazing. I think it’ll stop a majority of them from killing now.”

“Yeah, that’s what Willow said,” Buffy said as Dean grinned at the phone.

“Not surprising. So what, we sit back and wait for the bad ones?”

“I guess so.”

“That feels wrong, Buffy.”

“I know. But I don’t think we have much of a choice. I’m going to try and get a hold of one of the vampires’ leaders using Angel or Spike. Maybe I’ll have more then.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

He hung up without waiting for a reply. Sam was grinning, shaking his head as Dean lay back on the bed.

“This sucks.”

“And bites.”

“Shut the hell up, Sam.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Illustration
Disclaimer: I don't own the images used here.

The End

You have reached the end of "Plan B". This story is complete.

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