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Home for Christmas

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Summary: Cordelia's thoughts concerning Lee Christmas and her new life.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Expendables, TheDearestDrusillaFR1311,220381,01528 Aug 1128 Aug 11No
I do not own The Expendables, not even a DVD copy. I do not own B:tVS or A:ts. But this idea has been floating around since I saw the movie and I know some of you noticed it too.


Cordelia sometimes thinks about her old life, when she fought demons and vampires and saved the world. And for a long time, she wondered just why the hell she keeps looking for guys like this.

The first time she met Lee, she gave him a fake name. Something from a comic she got into, not that she'll ever admit it. Carol Ferris, she tells him. And he grins at her, sitting down across from her at the cafe she's having lunch in and calls himself Lee Christmas. She's trying to find work of a certain type and he knows it, maybe not what she's looking for exactly, but he knows it's something specific. He's been watching her every Wednesday since she started coming to his little cafe. And she knows that she should feel freaked out by that, but it's nice to have someone watching over her again. Someone strong.

He doesn't think her name fits and he starts calling her Lacy instead; he can see the edge of her bra.

But he's always gone. Always. Finally she can't take it. She's used to fighting, to shooting vampires and slicing and dicing and the whole time they're together she needs to hide her weapons in a storage unit. He leaves her behind every time. And she needs someone to stand side by side with. Not sitting at home with her, but a partner. She wonders if he's cheating, or maybe she's the mistress and he's going home to a wife and kids in England. It gets to be too much and the next time he comes home, his stuff is on the lawn.

The next man she picks is a bad choice. Very bad. He's a false strength and he's too big for her to take on by herself without a weapon. But cops are pretty good at figuring out it's a murder when there's a battle axe lodged in his skull.

And then Lee finds her again. He sees the bruises and she's so ashamed at how far she's fallen. Queen C is like the memory of a fairy tale and this...

Lee kicks some ass. A knight in shining armor come to save a princess. Maybe he's wearing leather, and yeah, his steed is a motorcycle, but he's there and he rescues her from a troll. And she takes him back, because he's proposing and she knows that he does care. She can see it in his eyes.


“I did warn you about sneaking up on me,” she tells him, bandaging a wound. He decided to sneak up on her while she was outside. It was nighttime and she's been patrolling as often as she can now that they're back together. Usually while he's out doing whatever it is he does. She'd been locking the front door, dressed in her demon hunting gear and a hand decides to fall on her shoulder? Hellmouth raised and Apocalypse surviving Cordy does not take it well. she she whilrs and shoot her attacker in the shoulder until she can figure out if it's human foe or demon foe.

“Why the hell do you have a crossbow?” Lee asks, gritting his teeth and she sanitizes the wound.

“Best for hunting vampires,” she answers him. “Stop flinching, big baby.”

“There is no such thing as vampires,” he turns to her. The look in his eyes says she's crazy.

She takes him out hunting. The smell of blood will attract them much better than a helpless woman walking alone at night and after she convinces him to turn down the killer mode, they start coming in like flies. They're being followed as they hit up the graveyard in midtown and a group is welcoming a new fledgling. Judging by their clothes, they can't be very old themselves. Stupid goth kids who got too deep.

“Dust,” Lee breathes out after she shoots on in the heart.

“Heart and head,” she tells him, shooting another.

“I think I can manage that.”

He's good. Too good to just be a businessman and it takes a while, but they finally spill their secrets. He's a gun for hire, sometimes assassin and sometimes bodyguard. She's a seer who hunts vampires because she can't take the big stuff out on her own. She also tells him her name.

“I like it,” he tells her from his chair. Lee has been leaning back in it since she got to the part about Jasmine and the coma nearly sent him into shock. “Cordelia...”

“Cordy,” she smiles. “Thats what the people close to me use.”

“It fits you.” He's quiet for a minute before he looks at her. “You ever shoot a gun?”


She's a good shot.

Really good. Faintly, Lee wonders why he never took her shooting before. His princess in the castle knows how to kill things really well and now that they're being open she's intimidating and full of fire. They think he's crazy down at the shop. Teaching her to shoot, taking her on certain missions, going on hunts with her. But they're jealous when he starts getting shiny new weapons and they want to come with when he brings in the head and skin of a marksid demon.

And just once, he indulges them. The demon they've tracked down is kind of big and really hard to kill, they need backup.

Cordelia is in charge when they hunt demons, he's in charge when they go after humans. And she's not letting them mess around. She's serious and when someone uses regular bullets she smacks them in the head and hands them a crossbow. Silver is a waste of time, not potent enough to do anything but piss a vampire off.

They believe him after that. But he doesn't take his friends out again. If they want to hunt, fine. But here, in this city, it's Their Time. The Lion and the Princess hunt and they bandage each other and the sex is better than ever before.

Lee starts to wonder if he should take her name, she's made it clear taking his makes her sound like a porn star and quite frankly he doesn't want assholes flirting with her more than they already do. Cordelia Christmas...yeah, not happening. But...Lee Chase? It sounded...

“Hey, Dawn and Daniel are coming for dinner,” she peeks her head around the corner. The phone is next to her ear and he gets distracted by the towel around her body.

“Tonight?” But she's naked and soft and the demon goo is all gone.

“No,” she smiles. “Tomorrow. So you have to help me clean tomorrow.” Putting the weapons away. Daniel and Dawn Jackson work for the government, some super top secret thing involving lots of security that can't be faked. Cleaning up meant making sure his job was hidden from the good doctor. They knew about things that went bump in the night, but hunting humans wasn't very high on their 'good' list.

“Only if you clean topless,” he grins at her. He has to dodge the knife she throws at him; she's getting better.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Home for Christmas" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 28 Aug 11.

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