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Five By Five To The Fifth Power

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This story is No. 29 in the series "My Name Is Legion". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Caleb’s in really big trouble now. In quintuplicate, no less. No. 29 of the My Name is Legion series. August Fic-A-Day 2011 entry.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Legion of Superheroes(Current Donor)ManchesterFR1511,190041,76129 Aug 1129 Aug 11Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and DC Comics characters are the property of their original owners.

Staggering back in shock, Caleb, the right-hand man of the First Evil, now stared disbelievingly at the stump of his wrist, where that specific part of his body which had just been about to gouge out the eye of Xander Harris had been vaporized an instant before. Wisps of smoke still curled off the cauterized stump, as the defrocked priest barely heard the gleeful voice coming from before him:

“That’s one.”

Exploding in his overwhelming rage, Caleb brought up his left hand to curl it into a fist, and he struck with this using every bit of his superhuman strength right into the unfamiliar face of the stranger who’d suddenly appeared from out of thin air to replace that blasphemous boy. Except instead of demolishing that unknown man’s entire head, when Caleb’s hand smashed against the features of his newfound opponent, every bone in the villain’s right arm promptly shattered into dust, leaving behind only a jellied and totally useless limb.

Falling to his knees as he screamed with agony over his recent injuries, Caleb drowned out the second satisfied comment from his enemy:

“That’s two.”

Now barely conscious, Caleb didn’t react to the hand that slid under his collar with blinding speed and which then easily hauled the 180-pound man in a casual jerk that lifted him back up onto his feet in a fraction of a second.

“That’s three.”

Blinking away tears of pain, Caleb stared downwards in sheer incredulity, as both his body and his captor’s form began to float up from the ground.

“That’s four.”

Frantically lifting up his gaze to look right into the face of the man holding him prisoner, Caleb cringed back in fear at seeing the right eye abruptly glowing with an unnatural light. His utter bewilderment over the recent events wasn’t alleviated by hearing the man chuckle, “Well, I guess that counts as part of number one, but for me, the really good part is that I just found out your whole big secret, that strange axe buried right there.”

Before he could react to this at the unmasking of his master’s plans, Caleb was then distracted at seeing his captor’s face turn iron-hard, as the stranger brought up their left hand, to puzzlingly point his little finger instead of his index finger at Caleb’s face. Now beginning to experience real terror, the evildoer heard the other man coldly say, “So, you like to torture and murder people, bastard? Well, you’re not gonna enjoy it all that much, when number five happens to you!

Desperately sprinting through the vineyard towards the suddenly cut-off screams coming from the building where Xander’s group of Potentials had fled from when they’d been attacked by Caleb, Buffy and Faith had left well behind those young girls who’d found the Slayers and told them that Xander was trying to hold off someone whom he had absolutely no chance against in any kind of fight. Dashing into the building, the pair of warrior women skidded to a halt, where they stared in stunned incomprehension at what they were now witnessing.

A complete stranger dressed in a weird costume which included a design of a green beast on his chest was floating a few inches above the ground, happily skimming back and forth along the building corridor at blurring speeds several times every second. In the next instant, both Buffy and Faith flinched back when that guy shot right up to them, coming to a standstill in front of the girls with a really odd slewing stop that resembled an unicyclist hitting a patch of ice. Hastily flailing his arms to keep his balance, the man beamed at the female duo warily gazing at his left arm, which was soaked in blood from fingertip to shoulder.

Buffy was the first to speak, just managing to get out, “Wha-- Who are you?! And where’s Caleb?”

Instead of immediately replying, the unknown man cheerfully waved his right hand around the vicinity, and following this, Buffy and Faith simultaneously felt their gorges rise. The answer to the blonde woman’s last question evidently seemed to be that Caleb was…all over the place.

Tearing their eyes away from the numerous body parts scattered throughout the corridor, the horrified Slayers heard a grim snicker from their companion, “Yeah, Mr. Evil Priest learned at the end that he shouldn’t have gone up against Xander Harris as Ultra Boy.”

Who?!" husked Faith, staring at the satisfied victor in his unusual costume.

“Someone from the Legion of Super-Heroes that I got changed into tonight by my Chaos magic,” amiably explained Xander, who necessarily went on when he saw his friends still had no idea who he was talking about. “In the DC Comics series, Jo Nah had five different superpowers -- ultra-strength, ultra-flying, ultra-invulnerability, ultra-speed, and ultra-vision. The catch was, he could use only one of his powers at one time. In my case, though, I got them all -- except the really Hellmouthy kicker is for tonight until a few minutes from now, I’ve got them on five different parts of myself.”

“Uh, what?” chorused Buffy and Faith, as they continued to gape at a suddenly sheepish Xander.

“Yeah,” he sighed, as the man glumly waved a hand at himself. “Flash-vision and penetra-vision in different eyes instead of both. Invulnerability only on the front of me, instead of all over. Ultra-speed in my right arm, and ultra-strength in my left little pinky.” Looking down as he bobbed in the air a few inches above the ground, Xander sourly added, “I gotta say, the really dumbest part, even though it’s still kinda fun, is that the only part of me that can fly is what feels like my left second toe.”

Despite herself, Buffy couldn’t help but actually giggle over hearing the last. She defensively said into Xander’s glower and Faith’s incredulous look, “Hey, it’s just what the Scoobies have gotten used to from their Xander-shaped friend!”

“Yeah, yeah,” groused that man in his newest body, rolling his eyes. “Just another day of being the Boca del Infierno’s personal butt-monkey.” Sobering up as a thought suddenly struck him, Xander earnestly told a smirking Buffy and Faith, “Girls, during it all, I found about something important tonight! Buffster, take a few steps back and pull up the floorboards. Down there, I saw with my penetra-vision the thing Caleb was trying to hide from us, some kind of mystical weapon!”

Brightening up at hearing this, the Slayers went to the proper spot indicated by Xander, and turning their backs to him while kneeling down, Faith and Buffy started eagerly ripping up wood planks from the building floor. While they were busy at this, the brunette of the pair absently spoke over her shoulder to the man watching them work, “Hey, boytoy, what’s that you said, about penetra-vision? It worked like you was seein’ through things, right? Like, what’s it called…”

“X-ray vision,” blandly replied Xander, keeping his intent gaze fixed upon a superb pair of female behinds in their skin-tight jeans.

The End

You have reached the end of "Five By Five To The Fifth Power". This story is complete.

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