Rupert Giles’ embarrassing afterlifeDisclaimer: None of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.
Note: This takes place after Giles dies in BtVS S8
Rupert Giles awoke, feeling as he was strongly hangover, and his neck was hurting. “What was I drinking last night?” he muttered, turning to Ethan, or Matthew, or Deirdre, or anyone of their circle in particular, who would retell him the last night’s events.
Sadly, no one was around, and as Rupert Giles just sat there, staring mutely at some very bizarre, yet familiar-looking trees, he began to realize and remember that things there here really, really very wrong.
“This is Ooo,” he muttered in confusion. “I haven’t been in Ooo ever since I stopped going on acid-fuelled trips with Ethan and the gang...
Giles trailed away, as a new set of memories: that of Angel, or Angelus, or Twilight, or whatever his name now was killing him over the Seed.
“Crud. I always thought that that vampire will be the death of me – ever since he killed Jenny,” Giles muttered despondently, “but why Ooo? I thought that as a Watcher I have earned something different than this!”
No answer seemed to be forthcoming from anyone at the moment, so Giles shrugged, picked a direction at random, and started to walk.* * *
As time and distance went on by, Giles, quickly discovered that some parts of his local memory were still good: in particular, he quickly came up onto the local equivalent of Willy’s – one that he remembered (or rather created) in this world alongside his mates, all of whom were now probably dead... except for Ethan.
And speak of the Devil – there he was, sitting at the bar and drinking something or other when Giles stepped in.
Immediately, there was a lull in the conversation and a steady stream of fleeing customers, as, apparently, Giles’ ‘Ripper’ fame has not been forgotten by the locals.
Ethan didn’t run. But then again, Ethan knew that that would be useless. “Hello, Ripper,” he said instead. “What’s up?”
“Ethan,” Giles snapped. “How did I end up in here? Were you behind this?”
“It’s Magic Man in these here parts, remember, Ripper? Or should I say Reaper?” Ethan-Magic Man said wryly. “And no, I’m not behind you coming here – you did it all by yourself!” He paused. “How did you do it, by the way?”
“I died,” Giles said with a grimace. “A chap named Twilight killed me. You?”
“Learned that your protégé will destroy the magic in our world, so I figured out how to keep my magic – by moving permanently here,” Ethan said proudly.
Giles blinked. “You’re still crazy – and despicable, Whatchamacallit.”
“It’s Magic Man, and if you think that I’m crazy, you should talk to Matthew: he made himself the Vampire King, the local Big Bad – so bad, in fact, that he was locked-up in the Phantom zone or whatever it’s called here. Got a daughter, the Vampire Queen, though: cute kid, but really hates my guts.” Ethan paused, and then added: “Anyways, Ripper, I’m thinking of turning you into a giant foot – what do you think?”
Giles snapped, pulled down his mask and went berserk.* * *
Life of Marceline, the Vampire Queen was fun and consisted mainly of scaring people and bossing her occasional henchman around – very fun. It also included her going over to various pubs and generally drink-in – mainly the ambiance of the atmosphere, but also the colour red...
This time, though, this didn’t appear to be forthcoming. Rather, the place appeared to be a battlefield between Magic Man and some strange berserker, who was quite capable of holding his own, at least at a close distance.
Marceline didn’t take her duties of a Vampire Queen too seriously too often, but this time the occasion called for it: she took her bass-axe and swung it, using the resulting sound waves to separate the two fighters.
That worked just fine, and moreover Magic Man took one good look at her, muttered something about this being too far down the Memory Lane for his tastes and flew off, using his magic to do that.
The berserker, however, stayed behind. “And who are you?” he asked, curiously.
“I’m Marceline, the Vampire Queen!” Marceline replied proudly. “Who are you and why did you pick a fight with Magic Man?”
“He wanted to turn me into a giant foot,” the berserker said wryly, “and my name’s Ripper-man. Me and Magic Man have a bit of a history together, you might say.”
“Yeah, I get your point,” Marceline nodded thoughtfully. “He is known for doing things like that. So, what are you going to do now?”
“Honestly? I have no idea,” Giles confessed.
“Oh! Cool! Want to be my new henchman?” Marceline said thoughtfully. “You look really scary – Jake and Finn will freak out when they’ll see you!”
Giles opened his mouth to refuse... and closed it. He honestly didn’t have any idea where to go next, and throughout his adult career he was something of Buffy’s henchman – well, Watcher, but she was definitely in charge. Put otherwise, most of Giles’ life he was bossed around by various people, including a supernaturally powerful, but barely pubescent girl – a Vampire Slayer rather than a Vampire Queen, but still...
Plus if this girl really was Matthew Lee’s daughter a close eye wouldn’t be amiss on her, either.
“Okay, why not?” he agreed easily. “Where we off to first, then?”
“To the next pub!” Marceline said cheerfully. “Let’s go get a drink, first, and then we’ll see?”
“To the pub, eh?” Giles said thoughtfully. “I think I like the way you think, your majesty! Lead on!”
“Your majesty?” Marceline grinned. “I think this is a beginning of a great new friendship!”