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Learning the Ropes

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Summary: The guardian of Earth gets an opportunity to let humans stand on their own feet again and can't pass it up. Railroading Xander into a new career.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > DB/DBZ
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered
deusexsububiFR1889,85055530,20416 Sep 111 Aug 13No

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I still own very little.


On Kami's Lookout, the next morning

Dende was taking the time to painstakingly and phonetically record the process of crafting dragon balls for when his successor may need the procedure. He'd never written it down before as he didn't want the magic of his position to copy the spell, so it made for slow work. The magic of the position of Kami, guardian of the Earth, copied all written spells by anyone on Earth, ever, to a central- for lack of a better word- database in one of the look out chambers. He, like his long deceased friends, hadn't committed much to paper before today. Dende felt that he no longer had a choice in the matter and began the task of recording knowledge.

Mr. Popo was delegated to placing the statue of Shenron, organizing the stone orbs and policing his boss, making sure Dende drank as much water as possible to be ready for the exertion ahead.

Dende stood up from his writing desks chair and moved to the altar and statue, ancient bones cracking and shifting into place. He spoke aloud the words of magical power and began to incant the statue and stones to transmute them to their ultimate task. He ended the incantation with shouting:

"Klaatu! Barrada! Nikto! Almighty Shenron! Empower these balls! Grant them the power of the wish !"

The balls and statue glowed brilliantly, the stone dragon statue turning green and the long serpentine dragon shifting into a new alignment before settling back to stone. The seven orbs shifted into their orange glassy shape and glowed brightly, before all seven of them lifted into the air and in single file order, launched out of the ceremonial room to go to their random individual destinations on the earth below.

Dende leaned heavily on the altar, panting for breath. Mr Popo approached to lend him aid and guide him to a nearby cot.

"It worked, master." Popo spoke jubilantly.

"The balls will work, they can grant any two wishes, but as far as reviving the dead goes, they'll only work once per person it revives." Dende weezed out, and then faded to the sleep of the truly tired.

Mr. Popo, using his djinn magics, telekinetically lifted his boss and placed him into the nearby cot to sleep the sleep of the truly exhausted.


Back at the UC Sunnydale dormitory

Giles woke up mid snore on hearing the low steady beeping. He was in an unusual position, smells, light levels and sounds different from his own bachelor pad, telling him he woke up in a new location. The fact that the Bay City Rollers wasn't what woke him up was the major giveaway.

Also, the two weights on either of his shoulders indicated last night went very, very well for him. Smiling smugly, he relaxed in his position, content.

And then last night's events came back to him. Like a semi truck full of anvils.

-Oh god, Xander!-

Giles anguished at the loss of the young man, but last night's events kept flooding back, learning of Xander's death, meeting Dende, the Kami of Earth. Being given some bizarre radar device and tasked with a mission from- for all intents and purposes- God. It was a lot to come back to. As Xander himself would say, it was some pretty heavy stuff. As was the pressure in his bladder.

Opening his eyes he looked at the bundle of blonde hair on his left shoulder and the red hair all over his chest. He was happy to note he was clothed.

As a musician, watcher, consummate bachelor and party animal, Rupert Giles was a veteran of extracting himself from multiple women the morning after. Matching action to words, with a dexterity many men half his age would kill for, Giles was able to get out of the double bed and leave the girls cuddled together. He put on his shoes and jacket, wrote a quick note he would be back with breakfast. He picked up the dragon ball radar and pressed the button several times to silence it. Moving silently, he left the dorm room for the nearest men's room.

As the door closed, both girls' eyes opened, both slightly blushing at how close they were, effectively sharing a pillow nose to nose and breathing each other's air. Buffy spoke first.

"Okay, he's good."

"Uh huh! Yep! Owwww..." Willow replied pitifully with her hang over headache.

"A little too good at that..." Buffy pondered aloud.

Both girls blushed at the implications.

The girls settled down and both dozed off, too hung over to care about their moderately compromising position.

About a half hour later and looking much less ruffled, Giles came back with a tray of coffee and a box of various pastries for his charges. He set them on one of the girls' dressers and took a seat at the student desk in the room. He began thumbing the button on the dragon radar, noting one seemed to be only twenty miles out of town. He sipped a coffee and casually ate a bagel. Two thought stuck in his mind.

-When the girls wake up this will be hilarious. Shame I lack a camera. -

Followed immediately by -Xander, wherever you are, know that we'll bring you back.-

A few hours later, in other world

Xander was back at it, running at a fair pace wearing a turtle shell on his back weighing what he guesstimated was about 60 pounds.

It was grueling work, but he knew there was value to his efforts and the mindlessly kept at it.

Krillin was sitting over to the side of the track, trying to cook up a training plan. He had nearly a full year to teach his student the basics of ki fighting. It took himself and Goku five years to outgrow Master Roshi and really begin learning on their own. Krillin was making a check list of things to prioritize, and having a hard time doing it.

-First things first, build up his stamina and durability. Make him ki sensitive. Show him every technique I know, and most importantly, strategy.-

A point of contention for Krillin, after years of therapy and millennia of experience was just how incredibly ignorant he was while alive. Generally speaking, anyone not dead from old age was generally deceased for some other lack of knowledge in his experience. He wished to see Xander surpass his master in this manner.

Fortunately, he had a few ideas on that.

While contemplating, another of King Yemma's minions approached him, with what appeared to be a large box of peaches.

"Delivery for you, sir! Please sign here!" cheerfully cried the minion after setting the box to Krillin feet and producing a clipboard.

Krillin read the label on the receipt and chuckled. These were the same kind of peaches that kept Goku extremely well fed and healthy when he first died.

"Awesome, great job. Thank you."

The minion left, not expecting a tip, as this was the after life and except for one wild west tycoon, no one is buried with their money.

Xander was on the return approach from his nth lap around the track. Krillin waved him to a stop as he came into range. When the two met Krillin tossed Xander a peach. "Chow down on this, kiddo. Eat it fast, it'll be really good for you."

Not one to be told twice to start eating, Xander attacked the peach enthusiastically. Within seconds of finishing it, he felt a very heavy sensation in his stomach, and then-

Perfectly refreshed.

The sensation was something like brief euphoria with absolutely no fatigue anywhere to be found in his body.

"Holy crap! That worked! I feel great!"

Xander jumped up and down a few times, actually jumping a fair height.

"Cool your jets kiddo, we're going to start some control exercises." Krillin cautioned.

"Yes, sensei."

Matching action to words, Krillin continued educate his pupil. And by educate, we do mean continue the physical hell of Z fighter training.

Joyous day.
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