By Hanane EL Mokkadem
"Ah, come on Spike, please?"
"Pretty, pretty, please with a splash of AB positive on top?"
"No! And that's final, Slayer! I'm not talking about those poofters and you can't make me. There is no self-respecting vampire who'd talk about that lot, which actually makes me wonder why peaches never told you about 'em."
Buffy groaned. "Enough with the Angel bashing already, I get it; you good, Angel bad."
Spike turned to her in anger. "No! Bloody hell, Slayer, obviously you don't get it. I'm not good, I'm bad, the Big Bad. Angel's the ponce that goes around saving puppies and kittens and what not, he's the good one."
Spike sighed tiredly. "It's not fair you know, if there was any kind of justice Angel would have been one of those Nancy boy vampires. His attitude would go very well with all the bloody glitter, so would his poncy hair."
Buffy watched Spike for a moment before she started laughing. "What?" Spike asked her smiling fondly. "What are you laughing at, Slayer?"
"You," Buffy gasped. "If Angel would've been one of the sparkly kind, so would you and Drusilla. I'm imagining your bleach blond sparkly hair. Instead of William the bloody you would've been Disco Ken," she managed to choke out before she couldn't control her laughter anymore.
Spike spluttered with indignation. "Bite your tongue, Slayer! I would go out and meet the sun long before living my undead life like that."
Buffy, who had calmed down somewhat, started laughing again after that statement. "Meet the sun?" she choked. "Meet the sun to do what exactly...sparkle?"
Spike blanched in horrified indignation. "Oi!"
A long time after Buffy's laughter stopped, and she and Spike sat together in silence -Spike thanking his lucky stars he wasn't turned into a Nancy boy vampire, and Buffy snickering softly whenever the image of the Scourge of Europe covered in glitter popped in her head- Buffy asked a question.
"Hey Spike?" she started, wearing a look of unholy glee that made Spike want to run for the hills. "You ehm...you ever tell Harmony about these sparkly vampire faeries?"
Spike's wary look turned into horror with an edge of disgust. "Are you insane? With her bloody sparklin' unicorn fetish she would've driven me mad! Why in the seven hells would I wanna go and tell that crazy bint? I'm getting shivers down my spine just imagining what she would have done had I told her."
Buffy started laughing uncontrollably clutching her sides in pain when Spike started doing an impression of Harmony.
"Oh, Blondie bear, you have to go find me one of those sparkly vampires, they'd go so nice with my nail-polish...and my clothes...and my glittery unicorns...oh, and every other thing I own," he simpered.
After almost peeing herself, Buffy calmed down. "You do realize the reason I brought this whole thing up is because Giles asked me to visit a coven of peaceful glittery vamps in Washington, right? He wants you to go with me."
Spike turned his head to face her so fast, she could actually hear a snap. "Slayer, you know I'd do anything for you," Spike started after studying her closely. "I would follow you into the very pits of hell. Actually, I did. I died for you, and I would do it again without a single thought. But there is no force, in heaven, hell, nor on earth, that would willingly make me go out and find these glittery faerie vamps."
"But I don't wanna go alone," Buffy pouted. "It's no fun laughing at them without someone there to appreciate the reason."
When she saw her pout didn't have its usual effect on Spike, she sighed. "Fine, I'll ask Faith, at least she'd get it."
A/N: Cause you guys asked for it. Let me know what you think, okay?