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Eleven Costumes Cordelia Never Wore

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Summary: Explore a series of worlds where Cordelia passes up the cat costume in favor of something a bit more… interesting… (Contains Cordy/Willow, Cordy/Tara, Cordy/Buffy, Cordy/Willow/Buffy/Harmony)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Cordelia-Centered(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR181121,376913536,13324 Sep 1116 Apr 13Yes

Jean Grey

Joe's Note: Yeah, well, someone has to earn me that precious, delicious femmeslash icon on the story listing pages. And why make one character a lesbian when you can bring two of them over to the Dyke Side simultaneously? One more conversion and I earn a free toaster…



     Staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom in numb disbelief, Cordelia Chase tried to figure out exactly when her life had fallen off the tracks and crashed into the world of the weird. Granted she knew the whole series of events that had brought her to this point, but what was the official point of no return?

     Had it been when she'd been stupid enough make the bet with Xander? Or when she'd decided to throw the quiz they were betting on because she'd had no idea what to dress as for Halloween and figured he'd have a good idea for her? When she'd allowed him to goad her into it by playing her against that geek Rosenberg? Or perhaps when some kind of magic spell turned her into the person she was dressed as, transforming her into a costumed heroine who turned out to have a love-hate relationship with another of the spell's victims? Emphasis, evidently, on the love?

     Cordelia continued to lay there, hands gripping the sheets tightly as she stared at the ceiling, until the soft whistling of the person sharing her bed could no longer be ignored and her situation no longer denied. Growling, she rolled over and brushed her red hair back out of her eyes before glaring at the girl lying next to her. "Shut. Up. Rosenberg."

     "But darling, it is a beautiful morning and a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the demon in my sack is stirring…" Willow Rosenberg let out a low chuckle as Cordelia growled again before sitting up and stretching sensually. For a moment, Cordelia found herself debating which part of the whole mess was freakiest: the geek's newfound self-confidence, the haughty British accent she'd acquired overnight, or her voluptuous new body complete with platinum blonde hair that Harmony would have killed for. Then the fact that she was staring at a topless Willow hit her and Cordelia flicked her hand, guiding the spare pillow on her bed to cover the redhead turned blonde's chest. That just made Willow laugh, though. "Isn't it a little late to be getting shy on me, darling? Especially after everything we did last night?"

     Scowling, Cordelia sat up… and then abruptly flopped right back down on the bed as she realized that position was exposing far too much to a girl who would probably enjoy the hell out of the show. "Let's get one thing straight: 'we' didn't do anything. As far as I'm concerned, this is completely the fault of some freaky magical stuff and two women who possessed us and this… never… happened."

     Willow clucked her tongue lightly as she rolled over and slid out of bed, taking the top sheet with her and leaving Cordelia scrambling for cover until a pillow hit her in the chest. Wrapping the sheet around herself like a toga, Willow glanced down at it for a moment before meeting Cordelia's eyes and smirking. "White. It's like you knew I was coming. And while we're on the subject of me in your bed… Emma spent some time talking to me during the possession to keep herself amused, but I was nothing more than a passenger in my own body until Giles smashed that bust across town. At which point I regained control… and the fun that Emma and Jean had been having using our bodies continued. So either you remained under the spell for longer - which is hard to believe - or you're lying. Which is it, Cordelia?"

     "I… you… grr!" Rather than answering, Cordelia waved her hand and the pillow she wasn't currently using to cover herself lifted up off the bed before flinging itself at Willow. The blonde didn't even give Cordelia the satisfaction of dodging out of the way, shifting into her transmorph form and letting the pillow detonate against her hardened body in an explosion of white feathers. Having forgotten about that ability, Cordelia blinked stupidly as Willow's body softened back into pale flesh before narrowing her eyes. "…do you know how much that pillow cost?"

     Reaching up, Willow plucked a feather out of her hair and chuckled. "Hmm… king size, looks like the same Hungarian white goose that Emma usually buys… I'll venture a guess of roughly a hundred dollars? Maybe in the future you'll use something less expensive as a weapon. The alarm clock, perhaps?" As the blonde wandered over to the window, pulling the curtains back so she could bask in the morning sun, Cordelia decided to take her advice, using her powers to unplug her alarm clock before flinging it at the back of her nemesis's head. At the last second, Willow shifted into diamond again and the alarm clock hit her skull with a crunch before crashing to the floor at her feet. "I'd quote Snape from the end of Half-Blood Prince here but I have a feeling it'd go over your head. Suffice to say, it's rather difficult to pull things over on a telepath when you can't - or won't - shield your thoughts." Turning back to face Cordelia, the blonde held her arm up so she could admire it as it glittered in the orangish-yellow rays of the rising sun. "Hmm. I do look rather spectacular in the light, don't I?"

     Cordelia would have agreed, but that would have meant complimenting someone she hated with a fiery passion and so she kept her mouth shut as she levitated the remains of her alarm clock, floating it back across the room to her so she could inspect it before sighing and dropping it at the food of her nightstand. She'd have to deal with finding a replacement for that later. Although speaking of dealing with things… "How can you be so calm about this? We're freaks now! I've got bright red hair-"

     "Oh, however shall you survive being seen in public with such a deformity?"

     "Shut up. I'm not supposed to be a redhead. I was a brunette before last night. People are going to notice. How am I supposed to explain that?" Cordelia stopped talking, cocking her head to one side for a moment before shuddering. "Not to mention that I can't manage to stop listening in on what other people are thinking. Just being here is bad enough; how am I going to survive school? Not to mention my maids are bitches who I really should get Daddy to fire, and my mom… oh eww, I can't believe the pool boy flirted back even though he's sleeping with my mom! I can't believe I have to know who my mom is cheating on my dad with! Make it stop!"

     Returning to her human form, Willow rolled her eyes before crossing the room and laying one hand on Cordelia's forehead. Closing her eyes, her brow furrowed in concentration and then Cordelia felt… something… slam into place in her mind, bringing with it blissful silence. Willow opened her eyes before sagging and dropping to sit beside Cordelia on the bed. "After poking through my memories of you, Emma didn't exactly have a high opinion of you. Based on what I know about magic in this world, she realized something like this might happen and left bits of herself at the front of my mind just in case. That little gem was one of them. I've put a block on your telepathy… for now. You'll need to either get in touch with your inner Jean or learn control yourself, though, because I won't keep reinforcing it forever."

     Well that was easy for her to say, Cordelia thought with a scowl. Evidently Willow had been lucky enough to have in-depth conversations with her possessing spirit. All she'd gotten was a great big black out that she'd come out of in the middle of some mind-blowing sex, not that she'd ever admit to enjoying it or being a part of it period because… Cordelia blinked as Willow smirked at her before tapping one temple. Then it hit her. Her telepathy was now shut off. Willow's… was not. "Just shoot me now. Please."

     Willow just kept on smirking, an expression that looked entirely out of place on the blonde's elfin face. "So it was 'mind-blowing', hmm? That'll make things even easier than I thought." Cordelia stared at her in confusion until an image slammed into the forefront of her mind, giving her a technicolor replay of part of last night from Willow's perspective. As the redhead opened her mouth to argue, Willow cut her off. "Oh, by all means, reject me to continue dating Neanderthals whose sole interest in you is located a foot south of your eyes. I imagine you'll find such relationships amazingly fulfilling once your powers return and make it impossible for you to ignore that fact."

     "God, you're such a bitch now, Willow."

     "Blame it on Emma's breeding, darling. Top class breeding." Willow rose from the bed and made a slow circuit of the room before bending down in front of a pile of clothes. "But the real question is, can you afford to reject me, even if you wanted to? After all, it's not like you can put out a classified ad looking for someone to help you with your telepathy, now is it?"

     Reaching out with her mind, Cordelia lifted the costume she'd worn the night before from the top of the pile and waved one arm back and forth, smacking the fabric across Willow's face a few times before floating the catsuit over to rest next to her on the bed. She wasn't quite sure why she felt so drawn to the green garment, but consoled herself that it made more sense to put it back on for now than to put clean clothes on a dirty body. "…so basically you're going to blackmail me into dating you. Way to keep it classy, Rosenberg."

     Willow blew a strand of hair out of her face before offering Cordelia a Gallic shrug. "You say 'blackmail', I say 'payment for services rendered'. You want something from me and… well, you're a tolerable enough companion by Emma's standards. Actually, I dare say that out of the two of us, I'm the one who'd be slumming a bit if we were in a relationship." Picking up a rather skimpy piece of white cloth that might have been a top if one tilted their head the right way and squinted, the Willow that Cordelia was familiar with asserted herself for the first time that morning as the blonde blushed bright red. "Eep. I was wearing this around town? What happened to my catsuit? My very nice, very covering catsuit?"

     There were a great many things Cordelia didn't know at the moment. That happened to be one of them. "Dunno. Ask your new pal Emma?"

     "Don't blame me for the fact that you're so thoroughly unlikeable that even a possessing spirit wants nothing to do with you, Cordelia." Willow's eyes drifted shut and Cordelia found herself looking around the room, wondering what else she'd be willing to sacrifice in an effort to discover what was capable of cracking a diamond. Then Willow's eyes snapped open, allowing Cordelia to catch a hint of a blue-white glow before it died to reveal Willow's blue eyes staring at her with a combination of curiosity, respect, and… was that fear? "I'd been wondering, since she is the Phoenix and the Phoenix is she… congratulations, darling. You weren't just possessed by a superheroine last night. You were possessed by the physical avatar of the cosmic entity that represents the primal force of life."

     Cordelia stared at Willow in bafflement for a long moment before offering the blonde a hesitant thumbs up. "…yay me? I mean, what does that even mean?"

     Grimacing, Willow used her free hand to hold up a pair of white hot pants. "It means that I can make an educated guess about how I ended up wearing something other than the costume I started in. Emma must have asked Jean to 'fix' her outfit for her before she pulled me forward enough to be able to see what was going on. Which means that you can fix things for me. Because while Emma may have left me with superpowers, a scintillating wit, and the best body money can buy - not to mention this lovely accent - I for one still know the difference between underwear and outerwear."

     Wait. Willow had started the night wearing a rather conservative white catsuit and by the time they'd ended up at the house, it had been turned into a pair of short shorts and that weird little… breast… flap… thing of hers? And her best guess was that Cordelia had done it simply with the power of her mind? The brunette turned redhead looked at the catsuit in her hands, and then over at her overstuffed walk in closet. "So wait. Just so I'm sure we're on the same page. I have the power to transform clothes into other clothes with my mind now?"

     "She's a telepath and telekine with the power of a primal cosmic entity at her fingertips, and she's most excited about the possibility of recycling her wardrobe to make new clothes. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm really not. And that's sad…"
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