Disclaimer: Not mine. Anya belongs to Joss Whedon & Mutant Enemy. Jareth and Sarah belong to Jim Hensen (et al).
Timeline: "Doppelgangland" and post-"Chosen" for "BTVS". Mid- to post-movie for "Labyrinth.
Warnings: I saw this option on FFA and liked it. Please don't expect it to make a whole lot of sense, as I think these two would be all over the place. Also, I hate unhappy endings.
"You are incredibly bad at this."
Jareth turned in surprise to see a teen female sitting on his throne as if she belonged there. She had her legs thrown over one of the chair arms, with her head resting on the hand propped against the chair's other arm. In her other hand was a goblet of wine.
"On the other hand, you have wonderful taste in alcohol, so I suppose I should let it slide."
"Who are you?" the Goblin King asked. As he thought about it, he realized that her appearance in his castle - without his permission, or even his knowledge - was making him angry. "And how did you get here?"
"I was once the Justice Demon Anyanka, Patron of Scorned Women; feared by unfaithful men everywhere, and respected in every circle I chose to associate myself with." The proud, almost regal bearing she had affected during her speech abruptly vanished, and she slumped against his throne. "Now I'm just Anya Jenkins: a lowly mortal teenager who is failing math and unable to find a date for prom." She looked up and met his eyes. "And even though I have lived for over a thousand years, no one will serve me an alcoholic beverage. So I believe I am supposed to thank you for your hospitality."
"But I never offered you a refreshment," Jareth responded carefully. He had never heard of Anyanka, but D'Hoffryn's group of demons were not unknown to him, and even a disgraced former-demon was to be treated with caution. "If you are a mortal, how did you come to find yourself in my kingdom?" he asked again.
Anya waved her hand in drunken dismissal. "Even children born on a Hellmouth can muck up a simple dimensional portal spell from time to time. Though after her last mistake, I would have thought she'd be more careful..." She trailed off in thought, remembering the mousy redhead's attempt to send her vampiric doppelganger away, and the mistake she had made in the incantation.
That mistake had pulled Anya into the portal with the vampire, and dumped them both into a throne room in the middle of the day. Luckily for Anya, Rosenvamp had landed beside a sun-facing window and burned to ashes within moment. Anya, not willing to waste the good fortune of being off the Hellmouth and away from vampires, immediately began looking around the throne room. Her discovery of the well-hidden liquor cabinet had her dancing in joy like the teen she appeared to be. After pouring herself a generous glass, she wandered the room, stopping at a small crystal globe.
In the globe, she could see an odd man dancing with a young girl, both dressed strangely and surrounded by humans that had been be-spelled in their youth. Anya could even sense what the odd man was trying to accomplish. When the girl broke free of the spell, and all the guests returned to goblin form, Anya had laughed at the odd man.
"That's right!" she announced, startling Jareth. "I was telling you how bad you are at this! If you love this girl, you can't let her have any power over you. I mean, if you're in love with her, she's already got too much power, and any more is just giving her the chance to take your magic and run. How did you even get her in your trap in the first place? Stealing something and making her chase after it?"
"What would you know about my plans?"
"You're Jareth; King of the Goblins, Lord of the Underground, and Master of the Labyrinth. You kidnap small children that have been wished away by beautiful young humans, and then force the humans to travel your Labyrinth to retrieve the child. You believe yourself to have fallen in love with the humans, and so you try to help them navigate the maze while seeming to make it harder for them.
"However, none have ever succeeded, and your city has become so overpopulated with your changed goblins that you have taken to making them denizens of the Labyrinth they were trapped in. Even with their new-found knowledge of the Labyrinth, though, no one has ever managed to make it all the way through. Now you're trying with a girl who is making friends with your citizens, and what do you think will happen?
"She will navigate the Labyrinth, and survive the city. Maybe she'll even remember the correct words from the book you gave her. But she won't love you. She'll take the child and leave. That's what humans do
"I didn't give her the book," Jareth spoke quietly. He didn't want to think about everything else Anya had told him, so he latched onto a trivial fact.
"The book. I gave it to her mother. The woman's sister died in infancy, though, so she never wished the girl away, and I never got the book back."
"Huh... Well, I suppose in that
case you have a chance. But if you ever hurt her, I will find a way to show you just why I was feared for hundreds of years."
"Unless I send you back to your dimension right now."
"But then you wouldn't be able to stop her from storming the castle," Anya pointed out.
Anya was about to repeat her question when a group of goblins ran into the room, each shouting over the others about the girl who ate the peach. Jareth gave them orders, and was about to leave the room when he remembered his 'guest'. He ran a hand through his hair quickly; then, coming to a decision, created another hand-sized crystal sphere. Before she could realize what was happening, Jareth threw it at her. Instead of shattering, when it hit her it expanded to encase her.
"Enjoy the Hellmouth. I hope to never see you in my Labyrinth again." That taken care of, he stalked to the staircase room. It was time for the last act.
"You again?" Jareth snarled. "I thought I told you not to come back here!"
"I had a good friend grant me a wish. If the Hellmouth was the place of my death, then the moment my body was destroyed I would be brought back here," Anya told him with a smirk. She turned to the dark-haired beauty beside glittery king. "I see you two worked things out? If he ever hurts you, just let me know and I'll take care of it."
The queen nodded, the serene smile on her face indicating that she had no fear of the man at her side. "Would you like us to send you back to Earth?"
"If you could send me to my Xander, I would like that. He probably thinks I'm dead, so once I prove I'm not the First come back to haunt him, we should have a great time getting to know each other again."