Written by Hanane EL Mokkadem
"Where exactly are we gonna find these future allies of yours, B?" Faith asked after swatting away a bug. "Because I gotta say, unless they're some kinda tree huggin' bushwhackers, I think we might've taken a wrong turn somewhere."
She looked around pointedly gesturing a their surroundings. "Like, oh say...I don't know... twenty thousand trees ago."
Buffy sighed before silently cursing Giles for convincing her to use the Dawn-express instead of his car. She was wearing her 'pretty clothes' and shoes that shouldn't go anywhere near a tree let alone an entire forest filled with them.
"I blame Giles," Buffy offered. "I should've seen through his 'let one of Dawn's portals take you there, there's no need to drive that great a distance,' crap. He was probably trying to keep his new penis car safe from my clutches."
Faith chuckled softly. "Can you blame the dude? You did kinda slay his last one."
"It was possessed!" Buffy yelled indignantly.
"No it wasn't!"
"It so was! It had to be, there is no way that that car was normal. It kept playing these stupid Abba songs no matter what button I pushed. No normal car would've acted that way. I'm telling you the stupid thing was possessed. It was my sacred duty as a Slayer to make sure it didn't go all 'Christine' on Giles' ass."
"You keep sayin' that, B, yet somehow no one seems to believe you. It was a car. A simple, normal car that Giles loved. It wasn't the car's fault Giles has some kind of secret Abba fetish, and it sure as hell wasn't enough reason for you to introduce it to the Scythe."
"What?" Buffy said innocently. "I happened to be carrying the Scythe with me when it gave me the evil vibe."
She ignored Faith's snort and continued. "I'm telling you Faith, that car was evil, it had evil written all over it."
"That's 'cause you took Vi's spray paint and wrote it on the damn car."
Buffy grinned. "Yeah well...what can I say I've got a sixth sense about these things, that car had 'bringer of the next Apocalypse' written all over it."
Faith snickered. "Again, that's 'cause you wrote it."
"Sure, oh great Buffy, the big kahuna and slayer of penis cars," Faith snickered with a wide grin.
Buffy couldn't hide her smile from Faith which only made her sister slayer's grin widen.
"So are you gonna tell me why we're really here? Not here in the middle of bushwhacker country here - which by the way I hope we'll get out of soon, 'cause I'm not made for this shit - but here, what are you not telling me about these supposed allies, here."
Faith scratched her head in thought. "Did you get all that?"
Buffy chuckled softly. "Yeah I got it. It's like I said, we're here to see about making some friends, that's all."
"Right... So why are you so happy then? The last time I saw you like this it involved Angel, Spike, oil, and fighting. What gives?"
Buffy's answering smile spoke of a secret. "I could tell you, but I think it'll be more fun for me and you if I showed you."
Faith sighed. "Fine, but this better be good 'cause I ain't walking through the damn bushes for god knows how long for diddly squat."
Buffy opened her mouth to reassure her sister slayer that it wouldn't be good, but awesome, but closed her mouth quickly when she heard a sound. She turned to look at Faith with raised eyebrows. "What do you think? Bear, mountain lion?"
Faith snorted. "Yeah right! This is us you're talkin' about, best case scenario it's a big ass demon with a hard-on for Slayer blood, worst case, it'll be Andrew," Faith scowled at the thought. "And I'm tellin' you right now, B, if that little weirdo got Dawn to drop him off at our location, I'm shoving Obi-Wan Kenobi up his ass. And when I say that, I do mean the dude that plays him in the movie not the doll."
Buffy winced. "I don't think Ewen McGregor would like that very much," she said cocking her head in thought. "Andrew though...he might."
Faith started and looked at Buffy in surprise. "Damn, B! Good one..and...ew."
"Hey you said it, not me."
Faith grinned wickedly. "Yeah, well. Let's just say I'll make sure the little geek doesn't enjoy it very much..or at all."
She studied her surroundings with a scowl. "Where the hell are we anyway?"
"Washington. If Dawn dropped us at the right place, and somehow I highly doubt that, we should be close to a town called Forks."
Faith sighed. "You sure you're not gonna tell me why we're here?"
"Yep. Pretty sure," Buffy answered cheerfully.
"Just give me a hint then," Faith insisted.
Buffy eyed her for a moment before grinning madly. "Okay, I can do that. Two words; Disco Demon."
Faith gaped at Buffy. "Disco de- what the hell kinda demon is that?"
"Fine!" Faith grumbled. "But if I get eaten by some demon wearing glitter clothes and singing songs from Saturday Night Fever 'cause I didn't know what we were up against, I'm coming back to haunt your ass."
"Deal. Anyway, you shouldn't worry about that too much. We're in the middle of nowhere and if there's by any chance some kinda jungle Bob demon running around, he probably won't sense us."
Faith glanced at her sister-slayer with surprise. "Why the hell not?"
"You know the pretty amulet Will gave you before we left?"
"It isn't just pretty. It hides us from anything supernatural. The only thing we should be worried about is bears...and lions...and wolves...and I guess demons if they happen to see us, it doesn't hide us from sight, just from their senses."
She frowned a moment before giving Faith her usual bright smile. "Other than that we're good."
Faith grimaced. "Ooh, you shouldn't have said that, B 'cause I'm pretty sure you just jinxed us. Yep, that's the story of my life, instead of going out with a big bang in some huge apocalyptic battle, I'm gonna be eaten by a stupid cougar."
Buffy and Faith's conversation halted when they felt something approach, something that was definitely not any kind of animal. Faith cocked her head and closed her eyes, focusing solely on her Slayer senses.
"Something's coming and damn it's fast." Faith whispered. She opened her eyes to see what Buffy was planning and quickly hid when she gestured to her to stay out of sight.
The...whatever the hell the thing that was approaching them at impossible speed was, halted suddenly. Faith glanced at Buffy and grinned when she saw her sister-slayer having trouble hiding herself without dirtying her clothes. Served her right for not telling her who they were meeting. If there was any kind of justice Buffy would get out of this with a couple of broken nails. Knowing her sister-slayer as well as she did, Faith knew Buffy would rather break her arm then her nails.
She turned back to see what kind of demon they were up against, and frowned when she didn't see anything.
"I still don't understand what we're doing here," a voice said with mild disdain. "Alice saw our futures disappear if we came here, shouldn't that mean we should avoid coming here at all cost?"
"No Rosalie. If this is some kind of threat, we need to know about it. We're on our side of the border so it couldn't be the dogs, but whatever it is, it's in our territory so it's our responsibility to find out what's going on," another voice answered with weary resignation. He sounded as if he had said those words before and was tired of repeating them, but did so anyway.
"Oh come on Rose, where is your sense of adventure. This could be anything, we could be walking into an ambush for all we know...this could be dangerous," another male voice said sounding very eager about the danger they could be walking in.
A noise that Buffy recognized as a smack to the back of the head sounded through the forest followed by a loud; "Ow, Rose! What the hell was that for?"
"That was because you're an idiot." the girl named Rose growled.
Buffy smiled. They sounded like Cordelia and Xander. A long time ago before Xander went and screwed it all up by kissing Willow.
"As funny as watching you two fight is, and trust me it's really not, I don't think this is why Alice sent us here, so save it until we're home, okay? We don't know what we're stepping into but Alice wouldn't have sent us if it wasn't important."
"Whatever Edward. It's probably nothing, just one of those stupid mutts that doesn't know how to stay on his own side of the border," the girl said, voice filled with disgust.
"Somehow I doubt that," the voice Buffy now identified as Edward said dryly.
Buffy grinned in anticipation. If she was right about this, and she was pretty sure she was, these were members of the peaceful vampire coven called the Cullens. Buffy recognized their names from the list Giles gave her. This was going to be so much fun, she was finally going to have her first look at the sparkly vampires. Damn, Buffy thought with a frown. I forgot to tell Faith to go to the bathroom before we came out here. Her frown quickly turned into a mischievous smile, well, here's to hoping Faith doesn't pee her pants when they go all sparkly on us.