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Unknown Quotients

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Summary: All Dean wanted was to get his brother to help him find their Dad. He wasn't expecting Sam's housemates to be up with it.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesGwirryFR1333,713062,64319 Oct 1130 Nov 11No

Chapter One

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Supernatural. More's the pity. I also stole the title from The Shins song Girl Inform Me

Unknown Quotients

The pretty brunette girl slid out of her seat in the back of a lecture hall in Stanford University and made her way into the corridor of the room as she wove in and out of the other students packing up from the class. As she hit the corridor, a hand snaked out from the shadows and tugged on her earlobe.

“Hey angel girl.” said Gabriel Jesu, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

“You do know that nickname is incredibly ironic.” She drawled, bright blue eyes dancing.

“Nooooo.” gasped her companion, snapping his fingers and bringing a chocolate bar into existence, munching down on it without ever taking his arm from her shoulders.

“People are going to talk.” said AJ, with a pointed look at his arm.

“Meh. You have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, your boyfriend is my brother. People can talk, it ain’t gonna matter.”

“Still, I wish you wouldn’t call me that. It makes me flinch and expect to be smited.”

“The word is smote. Hands off my girlfriend, Gabe.” said Zira as he walked down the library stairs and fell into step with them.

“Hey, Zira.”

“Hey, AJ.”

“Brain bleach! Oh Dad!” gasped Gabe, with his hands over his face as they kissed.

“Shut up Gabe.” snapped Zira.

Two figures with their arms around each other made their way across the corridors, and a third followed them, still munching away happily on a candy bar, until they were outside the law department. A fourth figure joins them there, and wraps his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders, as the four of them take off for a small house on the outer edge of campus. It’s not big, just four bedrooms and a little kitchen, and a small lounge/dining, and it once housed a creepy fraternity who mysteriously vanished after the six friends turned up (aided by some scrupulous screaming of things that began Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus) leaving the house open. In the first floor bedrooms lived Fergus Crowley, a business/economy major, and Castiel Jesu, who was doing theological studies. Upstairs, AJ Crowley, folklore and mythology, and Zira Fell, classic literature, and Gabriel Jesu, psychology and sport, and Sam Winchester, law. Well, that was what the records said.

What the records didn’t say was the three of the house’s residents were Angels, two were demons, and one hunted the supernatural. Gabriel, Castiel and Aziraphale were still trying to hide out from the big angel garrisons, and AJ was only there because she promised Sam she’d always be there and she wasn’t not his best friend for nothing, and, well, because she had an epic thing for Zira, that her twin refuses to call anything but their ‘epic angel love story’. Crowley… he was there because AJ was, and where one of them goes, the other follows. Sam and Gabriel were the problem in their little equation, because a four-bedroom house with six people in it is built for two couples, and so it came down to AJ, Zira, Crowley and Cas to handle it. It involved a karaoke bar in LA with a green proprietor, Savin’ Me, some ironically appropriate assigning of verses and locking them in an elevator. Zira and Castiel were still teasing Gabe over it, although given what they knew was coming with him and his own ‘platonic soulbond’, Cas couldn’t really say much.

Actually, when they’d found out about that, Crowley had given up on Gabriel and Sam and gone after Cas with everything he had. Cas had retaliated by dyeing their friends hair green. But for now, they were on their way home to dinner, and a cheesy demon movie marathon. It had taken Sam a while to accept that all his friends were either demons or angels when they had told him on their graduation day, after the ceremony, but now he was just used to it.

He didn’t realise that the world that they had so carefully constructed was about to come crashing down around him, and he was going to pull all of his friends back into the underground. He didn’t realise that his friends were going to make him and his brother the most feared demon-fighting force in the world. Right now, all he was thinking about was whether they should start with Demons or Sanctuary, and whether they had enough popcorn in the cupboards.



Dean watched the campus bus pull up outside the old frat house, and four kids get off it.

“Better watch out for the kids from Delta Ita!” said the young driver, as the girl and the three boys got off the bus. “Weirdos.”

“Mister,” drawls the only girl in the group, raising sunglasses Dean was sure she hadn’t been wearing merely seconds before, “we are the weirdos.”

He wasn’t sure whether it was the reference or the undeniable sarcasm in her voice that made the tallest boy in the little group start to laugh, but when he did, he threw his head back, and his face was clearly visible to Dean.



It was Sam. The boy in the centre of the group was Sam. What had he got himself into?



That was how he justified breaking in to the house later that night, armed with a crowbar. He hadn’t expected to make quite the amount of noise he did, but he should be alright, it was a big house.
So when Miss ‘we are the weirdos’ walked up behind him and brained him one with a frying pan, he could totally be forgiven for not expecting it.

He comes to with a soft rock song he doesn’t recognise playing in the background, and the sound of an argument happening over his head.

“This is not how I wanted my brother to meet my best friend!” That was Sam.

“Well, sorry for thinking he was a psychopath because he broke into our house!” That was a girl's voice he didn't recognise.

“You didn’t have to brain him!” snapped Sam.

“He could have been Hastur! He hates me!” the girl reasoned.

“Well, sorry you have hell-beaurocracy problems!” groaned Sam

“It’s not like there are devil’s traps under our windows!” whined the girl.

“Maybe there should be.” interrupted a third voice.

There was a sudden silence, in which the music comes bursting through.

“Oh, I wish I was in Wellington…”

All three of the voices start to laugh.

“Wake up the whole bloody house, why don’t you?” came a British accented voice from the door.

“Yes! Let’s!” - that was the interrupter’s voice. It was positively gleeful now.

“Gabe, can we not traumatise my brother?” sighed the girl, but it was a token protest.

“No!”

“Gaaaaabeeeee…” drawled his brother. He could almost see the puppy dog eyes, even with his eyes closed.

“Guys?” that was a new voice. “Guys? He’s waking up.”

“That platonic soulbond of yours in place already, Cas?” said the voice the others called Gabe.

“Shut up.”

Laughter echoes down the halls, and Dean gave up on pretending, and opened his eyes, only to find a pair of blue ones staring straight back at him, into his soul.

“AHHH!” he yelled. More laughter followed.

“Hello, Dean. I am Castiel.”

“Cas?” said the girl. “Let him breathe. Hey, Dean. I’m AJ, Sam’s best friend. Sorry I hit you with a frying pan, but I
have half of Hell trying to kill me, and the other half cheering them on.”

“Half of hell is trying to kill you? Who are you?”

“The Serpent. I rebelled. Apparently, while Hell encourages that in humans, it’s not good in demons. That’s my brother Crowley, only he’s more like a protégé, and he’s a demon too. Everyone else bar Sammy are angels.”

“Wait a minute. You’re living with two demons and three angels and you’re not dead yet?” said Dean, looking at Sam.

“Only because Gabe and AJ like me.”

“You bet we do!” crowed Gabe, rising on his toes to kiss Sam on the cheek, while AJ grinned.

“HELLO! SOME PEOPLE HAVE ASSIGNMENTS DUE UP HERE!”

“SO COME DOWN HERE!”

“AHEM? WORK TO DO?”

“HELLO? SAM’S BROTHER?”

“WHAAAAAAAT?”

Dean raised a patient eyebrow.

“That’s Zira.” said Sam. “He’s AJ’s boyfriend.”

The boy came hurtling into the room at high speed, his glasses pushed abnormally far up his nose and his sweater askew.

“What did you do? He's the Righteous Man! DOn't hurt him!” he yelled.

“I may have brained him with a frying pan…” Zira whirled AJ off into a corner and started telling her off furiously while Crowley poured himself a glass of scotch and Sam and Gabe tried to explain everything to Dean. Cas reappeared later with his arms full of bags and they all turned to face Dean.

“So.” drawled Crowley.

“What can we do to help you?” said Gabriel

“We’re Team Free Will.” said AJ with a grin.


A/N: I don't know whether to keep going with this, or leave it as a oneshot., so help me out, and leave a review!

Gwirry
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