Standard disclaimer: BTVS was created by Joss Whedon. X-men and Spider-man were created by Stan Lee and pals. This is a piece of fanfiction that is not written for any form of monetary gain, only amusement.
“You know... this may not be a good idea.” Kaine said as he and Xander got off their flight.
“What, you coming to Sunnydale? What have you got to lose?” Xander asked with a grin. “We'll get by man. There is loads of stuff buried there. Maybe some of it could be useful! Treasure... secrets... who knows! It's a not so fresh start, but it's a start!”
“I'm still a little apprehensive.” Kaine told him. Xavier had sorted his memories fairly well and Peter had been kind enough to fill in some of the gaps after Charles eliminated some left behind programming Warren had implanted in both himself and in Ben.
Even if they had managed to kill him with the lab explosion, Miles Warren was a tricky bastard.
Still, with the last bits of brainwashing cleared from the two clones, New York was one Spider-Guy richer and Xander and Kaine had come to the West coast to seek their own way in the world.
Meaning for the time being they were two wild and crazy Spider-Guys out on the town.
Xander was still getting used to his powers. Sure, having the proportionate speed and strength of a spider was cool but the night vision bothered him a little. Even with his oh so precious 'healing factor' the light of the noon day sun hurt his eyes a bit.
Xavier was right about how the genes that gave him spider powers expressed themselves differently. He was like the Spider-Guy of the future or something. The spinnerets were kind of a hassle if someone grabbed his arms and his darkened nails weren't something he could hide very easily. The only good thing about them was that they were slightly retractable.
Some of the girls at the X-Place had graciously helped Xander and Kaine design their 'costumes'. Both were black though Xander's had a bit of a Mexican feel with the 'Death's Head' design on the mask while Kaine's outfit was blank.
It was an almost fitting reflection of him. He had Parker's memories, but there was like a barrier between them and his conscious mind at times.
To be honest, Xander dubbed those quiet times as Kaine's 'Oz moments'.
Not that he told him that.
The two teens grabbed their luggage, which thankfully contained two weeks worth of clothing, and began working their way out of the airport.
Seeing as neither one had been here before, maps were consulted and used.
They made it out alive. Barely. There had been one point where Kaine had been tempted to buy a pretzel, but Xander had pointed out exactly how much that would have cost.
Now that they were out of the LAX, the two picked up a map of LA. They had some funds and wanted to see the city of Angels before going to the Hellmouth.
Xander had avoided the city since Cordelia was here. With his luck they would have run into each other within hours of him arriving in the city. He really didn't want to see his ex. Not now. Definitely not like this.
The two men had managed to find a halfway decent La Quinta Inn to stay for the night before they had hydrated, eaten something and gotten ready to head out onto the town.
Both men were kind of itching for a fight. Spending all that time in a thin metal tube as they flew cross country had riled them up. Now they just needed some bastards to hit. Demon or otherwise.
Neither were twenty-one so most bars were out, but Xander was sure they could dig something up.
Four hours, two burning buildings and one dead necromancer later....
“I can't take you anywhere can I?” Kaine asked Xander as he shook some... muck off his costumed fist.
“Hey, you picked this place.” Xander countered as he threw a member of the 'no longer walking dead' at the blue skinned demon hiding behind the sacrificial altar that they'd stumbled across.
Whatever the demon was, he was pretty good at hiding.
“I said, 'Hey what's over there?'” Kaine grumbled. “You said 'Let's go check it out. It can't be worse than the last place we looked at.'”
“And I was wrong.” Xander admitted. “I'm sorry.”
“At least you admit it. Let's just kill this demon and get out of here. I want to go to this 'In and Out Burger' I've heard of.” Kaine told him.
“Agreed.” Xander said as he webbed up the hiding demon before walking over and ripping it's head off with his bare hands.
“Still... this has been a pretty good night.” Kaine admitted.
“Come on, I'll buy you a milkshake.” Xander said with a chuckle.
“Strawberry.” Kaine nodded. “I could go for a Strawberry one.”
In and Out Burger....
“This is nice.” Kaine said as he ate his burger. “Very nice.”
“I agree.” Xander said as he sipped his milkshake. “Nothing ends a night of fun like a burger and a shake.” Xander looked up as his Spider-Sense started tingling. “Uh-oh.” He muttered.
“Xander... you dork!” They heard a voice call.
“Dammit.” Xander muttered as Kaine grinned at him.
Xander turned and forced a smile. “Cordelia... why are you here?”
“You jerk. I live near here. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be in Sunnydale licking Buffy's boots or something?” Cordelia snarked.
“I would be, but I haven't gotten back there yet.” Xander told her as he stood and stared down at his ex-girlfriend.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow and the seemingly taller and much more defined version of Xander Harris. He'd changed. That much was certain. There was something different about him. His mouth was moving a little funny and his nails... they weren't painted but they were....
“What happened to you?” Cordelia asked softly. “Are you... a” She said before whispering the 'M word' to him.
“Sort of.” Xander said as he flashed a little fang. “It's been a complicated summer. One of my family members turned out to be a mad scientist.” He said with a shrug. “Shit happens.”
Cordelia nodded. Her life in Sunnydale filled in some of the blanks. “Sorry.”
“Wasn't your fault he was growing a girl and decided to tweak my genes when I found out about it.” Xander told her. “How are you?”
“I've been better.” Cordelia admitted. “Who's your friend?”
“A clone. Not of me, but you know. It happens.” Xander told her.
Cordelia nodded. “He have a name?”
“Kaine. Kaine Stacy.” Xander told her.
“He chose the name.” Xander said with a shrug. “His mother's maiden name had already been taken by another clone. Long story. We're heading back to Sunnydale tomorrow. Are you really doing all right?”
“No. I'm kind of broke. But I'm getting by.” Cordelia told him.
Xander nodded. He'd spent most of the summer relying on the generosity of others. He knew how bad things could get. Life was hard when money was tight.
“If you need help... we might be able to scrounge some stuff up tonight.” Xander told her.
“So... he knows about all the stuff?” Cordelia asked.
“Certified demon killer.” Xander grinned. “Let me buy you a burger. You look like you need one.”
Cordelia smiled. Trust Xander to lift her spirits.
“So... how did you do that twisty-bendy thing with the flip?” Cordelia asked Xander as she rifled through the pilfered wallet.
“Increased agility. I'm more flexible than most yoga masters.” Xander told her. “Well?”
“I'm going to need another.” Cordelia told him.
“You're kind of pushy.” Kaine said from the wall of the alley.
“He's new.” Xander whispered to Cordelia.
“Yeah.” Cordelia nodded. “I'm getting that. So.. two more and I can eat for a month.”
Xander looked up at Kaine
“Fine.” Kaine sighed before reaching into his concealed belt pouch. He pulled out two wallets and tossed them down to Xander who caught them with a casual grace that he wouldn't have been capable of a few short months ago.
“Thanks.” Cordelia grinned. “Does it bother you that you're robbing people?”
“They're not people.” Xander reminded her. “The closest thing you could call it is grave robbing. Better for us to have it then to have it all dust when they do.”
“Why do the clothes go?” Kaine asked Xander.
“Magic.” Xander said. “Something about the demonic energy field that preserves the corpse as the blood demon animates it.”
“Fair enough.” Kaine nodded. “So where to now?”
“I know a place.” Cordelia told them.
Xander and Kaine shared a look.
“What?” Cordelia demanded.
“Let's call it a night.” Xander said. “I have a feeling that if we go where you want us to... it'll go bad.”
Cordelia paused in thought as she remembered just how bad Xander's luck was. “Fair point.” She admitted.
Elsewhere in Los Angeles...
“Why the hell am I sneezing?” Angel wondered as his nose itched.
The Next Day.....
“Nice car.” Kaine said as he and Xander loaded up their luggage into a beat up Chevy Nova.
Xander looked at Kaine funny.
“What? I don't even have a license. Any car that can actually start is a nice car.” Kaine said with a shrug.
“Fair point.” Xander said with a nod. “This is my clunker that the Prof had ported here. It should last us till Sunnydale.”
“Seems kind of a waste.” Kaine told him.
“Yeah well, he's got a couple of teleporters.” Xander told him with a shrug. “They're out a little time and I'm out fifty bucks.”
“Huh.” Kaine muttered. “Fair enough.”
The car started with a few squeaks, a knock and a long squeal.
“Are you sure this is safe?” Kaine asked Xander.
“Is your Spider-Sense tingling? Cause mine isn't.” Xander told him as he put the car into drive.
Kaine sighed before turning on the stereo.
“Oh yeah, the tape player works. The radio doesn't.” Xander told him as 'The Proclaimer's best song started playing.
Kaine's Spider-Sense started tingling. Lightly.
It was going to be a long drive.
“I would walk...” The two men sang as they continued to drive down the road. It had been a couple of hours and frankly it was either sing or go crazy.
They were about to start another verse when something fell out of Xander's car causing it to swerve hard to the right.
Both men jerked but maanged to not rip the seatbelts as they did their jobs.
Once the vehicle came to a stop, Xander shut the engine off and got out of the car.
He bent down and looked at what had stopped his piece of crap car.
It was the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign.
“Heh.” Xander said with a grin. “We made it.”
“Barely.” Kaine grinned.
“I know.” Xander laughed. “Let's get our shit and leave this here. Rory'll pick it up.”
“On the road again...” Kaine sang softly.
“Now you're getting it.” Xander said. “We'll get that sense of humor yours back into shape in no time.”
“Ah... quippage.” Kaine said fondly. “Good times.”
“Wait till you meet Buffy.” Xander told him. “She'll get that quippage into gear in no time. Actually...” Xander said as he paused in thought. “With your tragic back-story on top of being a clone... She'll probably be pregnant by Thanksgiving.”
“Is she blonde?” Kaine asked Xander.
“Yeah.” Xander nodded. “Bottle blond, mostly.”
“I dated a blonde once.” Kaine told him. “She..died.”
“That's okay. Buffy's died once already. I think she's met the quota.” Xander assured him.
“Huh.” Kaine said as they started walking towards town.
Kaine definitely had some 'Oz Moments.' Xander decided.