Standard disclaimer: BTVS was created by Joss Whedon. X-men and Spider-man were created by Stan Lee and pals. This is a piece of fanfiction that is not written for any form of monetary gain, only amusement.
“You know, this isn't so bad.” Xander muttered as they continued to haul cement. “What's the pay again?”
“Ten after two weeks.” Kaine told him. “Seven until then.”
“Doable.” Xander said with a nod. “Very doable.”
“Whistle while we work?” Kaine asked Xander.
“Maybe later.” Xander grinned. “The day is still young after all.”
Buffy cocked her head to one side and watched as her ponytail shifted towards the floor. She had decided to get something a little subtler than a luchadoras mask and had purchased a breathable balaclava. She also picked out some form fitting black exercise pants and a long sleeved shirt. If you took out the mask and the backpack full of weapons, she looked like any other female jogger on campus.
She started loading up her backpack with weapons when Kathy barged in to the room.
Kathy stared at Buffy and decided. “I'm moving out.” She told her roommate. “You're just too intense. I know you haven't exactly threatened me, but I can see it's heading that way.”
Buffy just nodded as she took off her mask. “I'm going out.”
“Don't kill anyone.” Kathy said as Buffy finished loading up her backpack.
“Well... I can't make any promises. Some demons look like people.” Buffy said before heading out.
Kathy flinched as the door to their room closed.
Did Buffy know?
The graveyard closest to UC Sunnydale'.....
“You came.” Kaine nodded as Buffy dropped out of a tree.
“I did.” Buffy grinned. “Though I think I lost a roommate.”
“Eh. Take mine.” Kaine told her.
“Don't you room with Xander?” Buffy asked as she scrunched her nose. “If I remember my senior history class right, he snores.”
“Nah, his deviated septum isn't an issue anymore.” Kaine told her. “Though when it's dark, his eyes turn white.”
“Seriously?” Buffy asked.
“His powers are a little different than mine. His webs are real, Mine, are artificial. Stuff like that.” Kaine told her as he showed her his web shooters.
“So... you make your webbing? You a science guy?” Buffy asked.
“Well... in a past life I was.” Kaine told her. “So... if you ever need help with chemistry, I'm your guy.”
Buffy nodded. She supposed she could have made some joke about chemistry but decided against it. She wanted to see how this would go. She wasn't exactly a catch and they both had some pretty severe issues.
But on the plus side, he wasn't a vampire.
“So... where is Xander right now?” Buffy asked Kaine.
“He's helping your mom.” Kaine told her.
“Doing what?” Buffy wondered.
Elsewhere in Sunnydale...
“Yes! Right there!” Joyce exclaimed before pausing. “Wait, a little to the left.”
Xander nodded and moved the picture slightly. “Better?”
“Yes.” Joyce nodded. “Hold it there so I can put in the nail.”
“You got it.” Xander grinned. “So... I've been told I have to apologize about the shirt this morning.”
“Well, you're not wrong.” Joyce said as she tapped the nail into the wall. “You're not in High School anymore. Eyesores won't win you any friends.”
“Yeah, that's been....'explained' to me.” Xander told her. “So... we've got jobs. How long until we have to move out?”
“As long as you keep the ones you have?” Joyce mused. “Two months. Sunnydale is constantly expanding and under renovation so your job should be secure.”
“Hmm.” Xander said. “All right. That's doable.”
“Good.” Joyce nodded. “Now I have a statue I need you to move.”
“It's not cursed or anything is it?” Xander asked her.
“No, but it is one of Aphrodite, so no groping. Just in case.” Joyce told him.
“Gotcha.” Xander grinned.
Back with Buffy and Kaine.....
“Okay, I admit... those web things are useful.” Buffy said as she watched Kaine literally lasso a stray demon that was a little quicker than she'd expected.
“I try.” Kaine told her as he snapped the demon's neck. He paused as he looked out into the night.
“Go up.” Kaine told her as he leaped into the closest tree.
Buffy barely hesitated before following.
Moments later what looked like a small squad of commandos came through the cemetery and removed the corpse of the demon Kaine had killed.
After the commandos left and Kaine had given the all clear, the two jumped down from the tree.
“Is that sort of thing normal around here?” Kaine asked Buffy
“Normally? I don't think so.” Buffy frowned. “Something's up. We need to find out more about those... guys. If they're taking demon bodies... well I don't really want to know what they're doing with them.” Buffy said with a shudder. She'd dealt with a frankenfreak before. She didn't want one made with demon parts.
Kaine nodded. If there was one thing he hated, it was mad scientists. “We'll have to talk to Xander. He'll want in on anything we do.”
Buffy nodded. “So... what if these guys are... you know... actual soldiers?”
“Then we find someone who will listen.” Kaine told her. “I know some people we can talk to if push comes to shove.”
“So... you up for a couple more cemeteries and maybe a burger?” Buffy asked.
“Sure.” Kaine said with a grin. “So.. you seriously didn't try to rob vampires before I came to town?”
“Hey, I'm a Slayer, not a Pickpocket.” Buffy shrugged. “Still... With decent backup it's pretty easy. It's good money. Blood money, but good money.”
“So... what do you do for fun?” Kaine asked Buffy as they headed towards their next destination.
“Stuff.” Buffy shrugged. “I like ice-skating and I was a cheerleader once. Other than that... you know. Girl stuff.”
“Don't ice-skating and cheerleading count as 'girl-stuff'?” Kaine asked.
“Not really. Not anymore at least.” Buffy said. “Just you wait. One day there will be a male paired skating team.”
“You know, that might make a good movie.” Kaine told her. “Maybe with that Will Ferrell guy. He's kinda funny.”
“Who?” Buffy asked.
“Umm.. Will Ferrell, actor on Saturday Night Live? One of the best shows... well sometimes one of the best shows to come out of New York? Ring any bells?” Kaine asked.
“I don't really watch a whole lot of TV on weekends.” Buffy told him.
“You're missing out.” Kaine told her. “Still... how are your classes going?”
“Good. Mostly. I think my psychology teacher is kind of an evil bitch.” Buffy said. “So... your evil scientist. What did he teach?”
“Biology.” Kaine told her. “I once had another professor that turned into a... giant lizard.”
“Seriously?” Buffy snorted. “Man, I thought my High School years were bad. So... in your experience... would my Bitch teacher be behind the commandos?”
“Well... maybe.” Kaine shrugged. “She could be involved.”
“Oh.” Buffy said. “That actually makes me feel better.”
“Or she could have tenure.” Kaine offered.
“Well phooey.” Buffy huffed.
“We'll look into it.” Kaine promised.
“Good.” Buffy nodded.
The Next Day.....
“Harris! You've got a visitor!” Murphy called up to where Xander was working.
Xander raised an eyebrow as he finished laying the brick he'd had in his hand. “Who knows I'm here?”
“Beats me.” Murphy said. “Didn't know you have a girlfriend.”
“I don't. Haven't for a while.” Xander said as he got down. “Where?”
“Front of the site.” Murphy told him. “This counts as a break so don't take too long.”
“Not a problem.” Xander grinned before heading to the front of the worksite. “Who the hell could be visiting me?” he wondered as he walked. “Oh crap.” Xander muttered as he recognized his 'guest' “Anya?”
“Oh good. You remember me. That makes this a little easier.” Anya, formerly known as Anyanka said with a smile as she looked him up and down. “You've been working out. Good. We'll need that for when we have sex later.”
“Oh no we're not.” Xander countered as he stared at the obviously delirious girl. “Look, we may have gone to prom together but you bailed before the mayor's ascension. In my book, that's a big no no.”
“But... I've been dreaming about you. Naked.” Anya said. “That has to mean something.”
“Yeah, it means you need a life. I'm nobody's dream guy Anya. Get going.” Xander told her. “It'll be safer if you get the heck away from Sunnydale. You know what goes on here at night.”
“Yeah.” Anya said. “But you'll get hurt if you stay here.”
“I'll manage.” Xander grimaced.
Anya cocked her head to one side. “You've changed.” She said as she grabbed his arm.
Xander's Spider-Sense started tingling.
“What happened? Did you visit South America?” Anya queried. “Is that where you were changed?”
“What are you on about?” Xander demanded.
“You're... a totem. What is it?” Anya pressed as she examined his forearm. “It's not a beast. But... is it the Spider? That would make some sense. One of nature's more perfect predators.”
“You need to leave.” Xander said flatly. “Forget you ever came back here.”
“You're right.” Anya nodded. “Danger will follow you like a shroud. Beware the other beasts for they will want to hurt you. We could have had sex Xander. Lots of it.” Anya told him before backing away. “But I'm human now. I wouldn't survive being in your life.”
Xander watched the obviously insane girl walk away without looking back even once. He'd have to do some research into 'Totems' and see what the hell the former demon was talking about.
If he had enemies waiting in the wings, he had to prepare. All of the Spider-guys had to. If only to protect the ones around them.
Underneath UC Sunnydale....
“So what killed it?” Maggie Walsh asked her assistant.
“Unknown. Whatever it was that bound it decayed shortly after it was brought here. From the trace materials left behind, it was a chemical adhesive of some sort. This sub-type of HST is exceptionally sturdy and has a very dense musculature. Whatever killed it was much stronger than your average human.” Her assistant told her as he consulted his clipboard.
“Examine it's endocrine system. See if any of it's hormones are remotely compatible with humans. If there are any advantages we can give our boys, supplement them into their food. We've already lost enough for the paper pushers to notice. We need to keep the ones we have.” Walsh said as she looked at the dead HST.
“Yes ma'am.” Her assistant said.
“Good. Keep me apprised on your work Essex. Unlike you, I can't be underground all of the time.” Maggie Walsh ordered.
“That won't be a problem.” Nathaniel Essex said with a sinister grin. “Not a problem at all.”
“And wipe that smile off your face.” Maggie ordered. “It's kind of creepy.”
Essex nodded, but the grin only diminished slightly. This town held so much... potential. Potential he would exploit to it's fullest.