Welcome dear readers to my newest story. As you could tell from the summary, the heroine of this story is once again Willow Rosenberg. Growing up I could identify with Willow so much (excluding the witchcraft and eventual lesbianism LOL) but always felt like she got the short end of the stick, so when I rediscovered fanfiction I found my chance to give Willow her HEA. Enter Paul, the big bad werewolf from the wrong side of the reservation, and you have this tale.
Okay so the warnings. This will not be a tale for those under the age of 18. I’m an adult (unfortunately) and enjoy writing and reading about adult situations, so if you’re not old enough to vote please click the back button and return when you are. Although Willow is my favourite character of all time, this story will be set in the Twilight world. There’ll be no other Supe’s but Vamps, Wolves and Willow the witch.
I have had a reviewer mention it in the past so I’ll clarify that Willow is very OOC here. If you follow Buffy canon then Willow is gay (or bi-sexual) and while I have absolutely no problem with this I prefer to read and write stories where Willow is hetero, so if you don’t like this please return to go.
Ummmm....what else. Oh yeah I don’t own or claim to own anything pertaining to Twilight or Buffy. Those rights belong to SM, WB, Joss Whedon etc. I don’t earn any money off this so please don’t sue me because half of nothing is still nothing
I hope you enjoy this story and if you want to ask any questions feel free to PM me or ask me on twitter @Im_Becstasy
Chapter 1 - Breaking us in two
Willow stepped out of the car and took a deep breath, letting the peace and calm of her surroundings settle her nerves. Bella was right, this place was so beautiful. It was so lush and green, even the air smelled fresh. It was a refreshing change from the metal, concrete and smog of Sunnydale. She could feel something in the air too, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but she quickly dismissed the thought and stretched, working out the stiffness from the long car trip.
As she stood beside her car, she took in the sights and noises surrounding her, everywhere she looked she found herself surrounded by forest. Willow found herself a little intimated by the tall and surrounding trees, almost swearing that she felt someone standing in the thick underbrush watching her every move. Squaring her shoulders, she tried to not let any weakness show, it didn't last long though as she broke into giggles at her paranoia. She shook her head trying to clear the silly thoughts and instead let her mind drift back to the event that had sent her running from Sunnydale to a small Native American reservation, so many miles away from her family and friends.
Willow smiled as she entered the cave where Oz had locked himself for the night. Everything had been going so well between them lately, she almost had to pinch herself to make sure it wasn't a dream.
She reached into her pocket as she made her way down the stairs, humming a nonsensical tune to herself. Maybe after she unlocked Oz they could have some quality snuggle time, followed by breakfast in bed.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice at first that two people lay in the cave before her, but as she reached to slide the key into the lock, she finally did and the humming stopped.
Oz and Veruca rolled over at the sound of the key entering the lock, and as Oz took in the look of horror on Willow's face, he cringed. He had never meant to hurt her, not that it meant much at the end of the day, but his wolf was drawn to Veruca. He had tried to fight the attraction, he really had. He loved Willow so much, but she was not his mate, Veruca was and it had grown harder and harder to ignore his wolf's desire for her.
Though naked Veruca, pleased that the truth was now out in the open, stretched, a Cheshire grin on her face. Oz had the decency to at least look remorseful and cover himself with his hands as he stood up.
Willow stood there, mouth agape, taking in the sight in front of her. It was like all her doubts and fears had come to life before her. She had never felt secure in her relationship with Oz, never understanding what he saw in her and worrying that one day he would find someone better than her, and now it appeared as though that exact thing had happened.
"Oz? What's going on?" Willow asked, cursing the way her voice shook.
"I'm not going to lie to you Willow, and say this isn't what it looks like, because we both know it is. I will say that this is not how I wanted you to find out, and I'm sorry that you did, but I just couldn't fight it anymore."
His words, as well as the way he said them, shook Willow to her very core. How could he stand there, barely covering himself in a parody of decency, his facial expression no different from the one he would always wear when trying to explain a mathematical problem to Xander, with his voice not betraying any emotion, any little shred of regret, while shattering her heart into bits and pieces? That he could be so nonchalant, so seemingly unaffected to her inner turmoil, the pain he was causing her right at this moment, she thought it would break her. She had honestly expected to crumble right there on the ground. What she didn't expect though, was the sudden and overwhelming feeling of anger at Oz, and she supposed, with herself for ignoring her doubts. Her fists clenched involuntarily as she felt the fury rise within her, and though she knew it was wrong, she unleashed that fury upon Oz.
"What the fuck?" Oz's hands went to his ears as Willow's voice rose to a screech. "How in the hell DID you want me to find out Oz? A fucking hallmark card? This is just a card to say...Fuck you! Cause I'm not, I'm fucking someone else so ha ha!"
Veruca, who had been watching the exchange with amusement, stood up and wrapped her arms around Oz, her head peeking over his shoulder. "What did expect Willow? I mean look at you. How did you ever expect that you could satisfy a wolf? Read him a story huh? Feed him a bowl of kibble? Wake up little girl and stop deluding yourself. He's an animal, that's not what he needs. He needs to be wild and untamed, not caged and neutered. Plus he's my mate. You're a smart girl, so you must know what that means, right?"
Willow shifted her feet as she looked at the ground. Veruca's words had cut her to the core and suddenly the anger turned to defeat and hopelessness. Determined not to let Veruca see her cry she turned and ran out of the cave, laughter taunting her.
She had been heart-broken for weeks after that, barely eating and sleeping only fitfully, as she tangled with the emotions that had welled within her. She couldn't stop analysing that event and her whole relationship with Oz, trying desperately to make sense of the situation. Buffy tried to help, but was too busy with her own budding relationship to be of much use.
As the weeks passed she seemed to move onto the next stage of the typical relationship phase, acceptance. Her appetite returned with ferocity and she no longer cried at the drop of that hat anymore (though the tears did come every now and then), her sleep was still broken. While she could accept that her relationship was over, it did nothing to ease her pain or to answer the questions she kept asking herself. DID she do anything wrong? Could she have done something differently? Was it her hair colour, the way she dressed, her body? Was she not adventurous enough in the bedroom? Who could she ask to answer those questions? Buffy was too busy, she had no other close female friends, her mother was never home and wouldn't understand anyway and she would rather die then ask Giles.
She had awoken from a restless sleep one night, sweating furiously, with Veruca's words echoing through her mind. 'You are a smart girl, so you must know what that means, right?' But she didn't know. Not exactly at least. She didn't know why the love they had shared hadn't been enough for Oz. She didn't know why the wolf in him had chosen Veruca as its mate. She wasn't even sure if she knew what exactly the term 'mate' meant to them. All she did know was that she just hadn't been enough. Not for Oz, and certainly not for his wolf. At that realization, a burning desire took hold of her. Veruca was right, Willow was a smart girl and although she didn't know the answer to all those questions yet, she knew she could find them. While she could admit to herself that it was a ridiculous request, no doubt brought on by an overdose of chocolate and romance novels, she couldn't help but feel in some way that it was exactly what she needed to do. After all researching was what she did best, and thanks to the extensive supernatural section that Giles had at his house, she certainly had the resources.
So she buried herself in mountains of books, flicking through page after page, hoping desperately to find some answer, some hope that she was not a total failure as a woman. She found the answer alright, and it lifted her spirits more than anything else had been able to so far. As much it pained her to say it, Oz was right, even Veruca, that bitch. It wasn't her fault. Well it was, but not in the way she thought.
She discovered that werewolves had mates, a perfect life partner that nature chose for them. It wasn't a bam, you're in love deal, it was a here's a female who is best suited to your animal, she's your match physically, mentally and genetically. When two mated werewolves met they recognised each other immediately, and were drawn together so they could form a pack, or family. They were a bit like humans in that they lived as a mother, father and children. Werewolves were generally monogamous, which made Willow laugh out loud when she read that, and would only take another mate should their first mate die.
So Oz had been right when he said that he couldn't fight it. He really was being honest and not just coming up with an excuse for thinking with his dick. He had been drawn to Veruca in a way she would never understand. She even begrudgingly admitted that Veruca was also right. She would've never been enough for Oz's wolf, no matter how hard she tried. Veruca was his match in every way, and while she herself wasn't perfect for Oz, she might just be perfect for someone else.
That, of course, was little consolation when she saw Oz and Veruca cuddling around campus. But as she had found out over the time she had spent trying to find answers to her questions, her continuous research helped her tremendously to deal with the pain of seeing the two of them together. But it didn't mean that all the information she discovered let Oz off the hook guilt free. It should have, but in her heart she just couldn't bring herself to forgive him. Maybe she would when time had eased her wounds, like time does to all wounds, but not right now and especially when his new romance was flaunted in her face day after day.
As she watched them grow closer day after day, she found herself wondering whether her relationship with Oz had meant the same to him as it did to her. But every time she found herself caught up in such miserable thoughts, she would discover a new page somewhere in a book, or a new site on the internet with more information on shape shifting creatures and her worries wouldn't plague her all that much anymore.
It got harder though, because it seemed that love was in the air everywhere she went and it really didn't help matters that Buffy and Xander were also both in relationships. Hell, even Giles was going on the odd date here and there, even if it was only with other watchers and she had no-one, but her books and she comforted herself with the fact they had never let her down before.
So Willow, who now had plenty of time on her hands and an aching hole in her heart became obsessed with werewolves and threw herself even further into research. She found the research sort of cathartic and had even developed a genuine interest in the subject.
It was one lonely afternoon when an opportunity to make a fresh break practically threw itself into Willow's lap. She was alone (surprise, surprise) in her dorm room researching rumours of a pack of shape-shifters that may have existed in the Pacific North-West and was having a hard time locating much information about them. The only details that she could find were old, from around the early 1900's, and only mentioned two things that the pack had lived outside a town called Forks in Washington, how far away she did not know and there was a vague mention of a nearby Native American settlement, but nothing certain. The other, one that especially gained her attention, was that the pack were quite different to the normal children of the moon, in the fact that they could shift at will and were not held to the mercy of the moon like their counterparts. She then spent the next hour scrolling through page after page of information but was unable to find anything else.
Letting out a huff of frustration she stood up from the desk and started pacing back and forth running all she had learnt through her mind. She paused recalling Forks, Washington, that town sounded very familiar to her. Why? Had she been there before? Maybe she had, the more she tried to concentrate, the more she forgot.
Throwing her hands up in the air, she turned and left the room. She headed to the vending machine to get another chocolate bar and was debating with the inner Willow.
::Are you sure you want to be doing this? You're getting kind of fat there, no man's going to want you if you're fat::
Willow ignored the voice's advice and reminded herself that apparently she wasn't good enough for Oz or Xander too, for the matter so what did it matter. She had to roll her eyes at herself, praising the goddess that at least it had been an internal debate and that she had not progressed to cat lady status yet.
Chuckling to herself she kept heading towards Mecca, otherwise known as the vending machine, when she suddenly stopped remembering where she knew that town from.
Chocolate forgotten she bolted back to her room, Goddess she was so stupid, of course she knew that town, her Cousin Bella lived there. She threw herself at her phone and was about to call Bella when her computer chimed. She should've ignored it, but a prickling on the back of her neck stopped her and she turned to her computer and opened the new email she had received. She was shocked to see that it was from Bella. She skimmed through the email and then leant over to pick up her phone, too excited to take the time to type a response.
She scrolled through the phone until she found Bella's number and hit dial. The phone rang a few times and then -
Willow's heart lifted when she heard her cousin's voice. Even though Willow was a few years older, they had been close growing up, bonding over a love of books and parents who didn't quite meet the grade. They were like two peas from the same pod, both quiet and shy but had huge hearts that they hid from the world lest they get hurt. They had really only had one summer together over the years, but they had stayed in touch at first via letters (Willow) and postcards (Bella) and then email, but had lost contact after Bella had moved to Forks to live with her father. Her face broke into a smile, one that hadn't appeared since that disastrous day.
"Jelly Belly, it's Lo."
Bella squealed in delight and Willow laughed as she held the phone away from her ear.
Willow was unable to stop laughing at her infectious joy. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my Jelly?"
"Oh my gosh, Lo! Sorry..." Bella's voice was cut off by a crash in the background and then Bella must have covered the phone as her voice was muffled when she reassured someone named Jake that everything was okay.
"Sorry, that was just my boyfriend Jake, he thought someone was attacking me. Sorry about that by the way, I'm just so excited to hear from you. Did you get my email? Of course you did otherwise you wouldn't be calling and....I'm babbling sorry."
Willow laughed again. "Wow, three sorry's in under a minute and babbling, it's not hard to tell we're related is it? Well, that and the minuscule height and pasty white skin thing."
"Two peas in a pod alright. How are you anyway Lo? I'm sorry it's been so long since we talked last, but a lot's happened in the past year, it's really long story trust me, but do you think you can forgive me for being such a horrible cousin."
"A, you’re like my sister, not my cousin and B, it works two ways okay? I'm just as at fault here as you are. Besides if I can forgive you for pushing me and that boy into the mud well then," Willow broke off remembering something, "Wait is your boyfriend Jake the same little boy you pushed into the mud with me?"
She could practically feel the blush down the phone line as Bella stammered out, "Yep that's him, but he's not so little anymore. Don't change the topic anyway. How are you?"
Willow took a deep breath. "To be honest, not that great, but I'm getting there."
Concern filled Bella's voice, "Why? What happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to come to you?"
Willow could feel tears in her eyes at the love that she heard in Bella's voice. She had missed her cousin so much and it wasn't until this moment that she realized just how much.
"That's kind of the reason I was calling. My boyfriend Oz and I, well to put it nicely, we broke up and of course all I see now is he and his...new girlfriend and how happy they are. I need a break, some distance, a chance to let my heart heal. Do you know what I mean?"
Willow's heart broke again a little at the pain she could hear in Bella's voice when she spoke again. "Yeah Lo, I do, part of that long story. Why don't you come up here and stay with me and Charlie, he won't mind, and you and I can cry and eat cookie dough and chocolate till we splode."
A few tears escaped from her eyes and she laughed as she remembered that used to be a favourite dream as kids - that one day they could eat all the cookie dough and chocolate in the world till they sploded and no one could say anything. Willow had spent almost the whole summer trying to teach Bella how to say explode properly but gave up and so sploded it remained to this day.
"Are you sure Uncle Charlie won't mind? Won't I be getting in your way? You young kids these days don't want to hang with old folks like me."
Bella snorted, "Puh-lease Lo. You know that Charlie loves you, you're like a second daughter to him, and get in my way, what way? I only hang out on the Rez these days and trust me when I say you're going to be a big hit with the guys here."
Willow grimaced at the thought of Bella playing matchmaker. "The LAST thing I need right now is a relationship, I don't want to be that rebound girl, all men are dogs anyway so the less I have to think about them, the better. Besides I honestly don't think anyone would be interested Jelly, the duckling didn't exactly turn into a swan you know?" A thought came to Willow, "Wait, did you say the Rez?"
"Oh my gosh, you don't know. Yeah, Charlie and I moved onto the Quileute Reservation. After Edward, the douche, and I broke up there was some....unpleasantness and Charlie thought I would be safer down here with more people around, you know how he works so much. We moved in about three months ago. You'll love it here Lo, there's just this feeling about it, I can't describe it but you'll know what I'm talking about when you get here. When are you thinking of coming and how long do you want to stay? Wait...is this okay with your parents?"
"I think you forget how much older I am than you Jell. I'm in college now so I don't need to ask permission, plus you know them, they barely remember that I exist, let alone worry about me." Willow said as she rolled her eyes.
"Oh yeah, it's really not that big of a gap you know. Two years is nothing really. Now tell me when you're coming woman, I need to prepare troops."
"Well I was hoping to head up there ASAP. I have to tie up some loose ends, but how bout I head up there early Friday that way I can get there Saturday morning. I don't know how long I'll stay though, maybe until I've worn out my welcome?"
"So you'll never be going home then!" she said laughingly.
"Guess not. Goddess this is exactly what I needed, it must have been kismet or something."
"Must have been, I don't know why I chose that exact moment to email you, but something was telling me that I had to. I'm glad I listened to the inner Bella for once. I'm so excited to see you again Lo, I may never let you go again."
"I know what you mean, I didn't realise just how much was missing till I heard your voice again. I'd better get going if I’m going to leave on Friday, I have so much to do. I love you my Jelly Belly, I'll see you Saturday. Tell Charlie hi and tell Jake to watch out he has to pass the Lo test to see if he can take care of my sister."
Bella laughed again, "Yeah, yeah. Take care Lo, I love you too. See you soon."
The next few days had been incredibly busy for Willow. What she thought would be the easiest task, deferring her studies, proved to be one of the hardest. The guidance counsellor, Mrs Romanski, had been very reluctant to let Willow go. Willow was an ideal student, she maintained superb grades, had a near perfect attendance record and was spoken highly of by every one of her teachers. It had taken a solid hour of her time to finally convince Mrs Romanski to agree to let her go, during which time she was sorely tempted to practice her magic skills on the old bat, but eventually she agreed to let Willow defer her studies for 'six months only, this is not a holiday you know'. Willow just barely managed to stop herself from turning her into a slug.
Packing, a task she normally failed miserably at, was the easiest. She decided to leave most of her personal belongings, with the exception of her most important spell books and some photos, behind. She didn't think she would stay that long, she may only even stay a week or so, so she packed light on her clothes, she didn't really have a lot suitable for the weather up there anyway, and she would just buy whatever she needed while she was there.
She was just finished with the last of the packing, when Buffy barrelled into the room and started to get changed.
"I know, I know. Don't tell me. I'm late again, but I swear this time it wasn't my fault. Riley just had to give me 'the eyes'. You know the puppy dog ones that beg you to stay and one thing turned into another, and well you don't want to hear that bit. Let me just get changed and I'll be ready for dinner."
Willow developed a sinking feeling in her stomach. Dinner? What dinner? She tried to remember if she had forgotten that it was Buffy's birthday. She glanced at the calendar on her desk, no, that was still a few months away.
"Ummm Buff, what dinner?"
Buffy, who had been in the process of buttoning her blouse stopped and turned around.
"Oh Wills, don't tell me you forgot again! The monthly catch up and make sure everyone's still alive dinner, you remember?" She finally looked at Willow and the bag on her bed.
"Wait you're not dressed and what's with the bag, going somewhere?" She had meant it as a joke, but started to worry when Willow began fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt. She had a feeling that this was going to be bad news and had to sit down on the bed.
"What's going on Wills?"
Willow found she couldn't meet Buffy's eyes and instead stared out the window. "I'm leaving Buffy."
Buffy leapt off the bed and grabbed Willow by the shoulders. She had known Willow was sad about her and Oz's breakup, but she hadn't realized that it was this bad. "What? No, no way. I'm not going to let you leave me like this. How am I gonna cope without my Wills?"
Willow laughed at the desperation in Buffy's voice, she couldn't help it. "Relax okay, just breathe. I'm not leaving permanently okay, it's just a visit, I'll be back I promise. I just need a break...from everything I suppose. You'll be fine, you've got Riley you won't miss me."
"That's it isn't it. You're leaving me because I'm spending too much time with Riley. I'm sorry, I'll be a better friend, I promise. I'll spend less time with him, I will."
Willow rolled her eyes, Buffy was one of her best friends but sometimes that girl could be so clueless. "I love you, but you have to know that not everything's about you Buffy. Have you forgotten that Oz and I just broke up? Did you stop and think what it's like to see him and Veruca together, or you and Riley, or even Xander and Anya? It's been hard, okay? Everyone seems to have someone but me. I just need to get away, take some time to myself, and be somewhere I'm not that girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend. Besides I haven't seen Bella in years, it'd be good to just catch up with her.
Buffy's eyes filled with remorse, "You're right. I'm sorry for being such a horrible bitch. I haven't been here for you like I should've been, I've been too wrapped up in myself like usual. I'm gonna miss you Wills that's all. Who's going to kick my ass when I screw up?"
Willow had to blink back the tears but a smile appeared on her face. "You'll do fine Buff, there is always Giles you know."
"Oh yeah, but I never listen to him. When are you heading off?" Buffy tried to act nonchalant but inside she had the worst feeling that this trip would change everything between them.
"Early tomorrow morning. I wanna beat the weekend traffic. I guess that gives me sometime to go to dinner with a few of my friends."
"Yeah it does. Okay these are the rules. I'm letting you go on the condition that I want to hear from you every few days and you have to promise not to fall in love with some hunky dude and forget all about us okay?"
Willow laughed, "Not going to happen Buff but thanks for the vote of confidence. I think I can live with those terms. Deal."
"Good, now let's get to dinner. I'm starved."
Dinner had been perfect, it was good for Willow to see everyone again and remind herself that maybe she wasn't as alone in this world as she thought she was.
Xander, of course, had freaked out at the thought of Willow leaving, but a pinkie swear promise to return placated him easily. Giles expectedly took the news well, simply wishing Willow safe travels and making sure she would be contactable should her services be required.
As she said goodnight to everyone she was sad to realise that she would be without them while she was gone, but excited at the prospect of rebuilding her relationship with Bella.
The next morning she awoke early and left before the sun rose. She'd packed up the car and said her goodbyes the night before, so she was all set to go. She looked in the rear-view mirror as she drove away, and couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation settle in her stomach. It didn't make sense to her, after all if she was only going for a visit, why did she feel like she was leaving Sunnydale behind?
A rustling from the forest to the left of her pulled Willow out of her thoughts. From the level of noise being made she half expected some large beast to emerge from
the trees but was instead shocked by four large, half naked men emerged from between the trees. Willow shrank back against her car as they made their way toward her, she could feel the raw, untamed power radiating from them, especially from the man in the middle who appeared to be their leader. Goddess he thought she would be safe when she left Sunnydale behind.
They stopped in front of Willow and started to sniff the air around her. As they sniffed at her, Willow looked around for a possible escape route, not finding one she desperately tried to think of any defensive spells she had learnt. The leader suddenly growled, leaning towards her while staring Willow deep in the eyes. "Who are you and what do you want?"
Also I take the titles of my stories and chapters from songs so below are the artists (please don’t judge me for my questionable taste in music
Everything – Michael Buble
Breaking us in two – Joe Jackson (but I prefer the Mandy Moore cover)