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5 Evil That Flirted With Tony Stark

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Summary: Five times an evil/morally grey person flirted with Tony Stark that he did not want and one time he did not mind.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Avengers > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories
Multiple Crossings > Non-BtVS Crossovers
MistressTitaniaFR1562,347149,5795 Nov 115 Nov 11Yes

+1 Melody Pond/River Song (Doctor Who)

(Takes place right after Doctor Who Season 6 ended)

“Sure, I’d love to go dancing with you. No, I don’t have anything against archaeologists,” smiled Tony glad for once he liked the person hitting on him.

“NO! No, bloody hell no! NO! I talked with Jack, I know what dancing is. NO! I am not letting my daughter get involved with America’s playboy. No, you are in a vunerable place after losing your husband. NO! Amy, help me out here! Tell our daughter she is grounded in her prison cell for the next 10 years! I deserve some break after saving the Universe so many times!” ranted Rory Williams.

“But Dad, that’s no fair! You never let me have any fun.”

Amy was to busy staring at Agent Coulson with wonder to be much of a help to her husband.

“Tony, I do not think this is the best match for you, my friend. Obviously these people are clinicly insane,” whispered Steve Rogers.

“Oi! Shut-up Captain Flagman! At least I’ve managed to actually punch Hitler in the face and hold him at gun point. You only hit actors dressed like him! And so what if you were frozen for 70yrs! I had to wait 2000 years protecting my wife’s body in a box while waiting for the Universe to reboot. All while dressed like a bloody Roman solider. SO SHUT UP! I am not crazy and if I am it is because that man made me!”

“What man?” asked Clint highly amused.

“The Doctor who else!”

“Oh, yeah that would do it.” Both Clint and Natasha nodded.

“Rory, it’s him! It’s really him!” squealed Amy in delight.

“Who is he again?”

“The one Canton talked about when he was drunk! Sir, will you give us your autograph?”

Agent Coulson proceeded to blush for the first time in his life. Rory turned to stare at Coulson with his mouth open.

“Oh, wow! It is a giant honor sir! This is amazing!” Rory quickly shook his head. “Wait, we are supposed to focus on keeping Melody/River away from the stupid rich playboy!”

“He is a rich genius playboy.”

“I said shut-up Flag Dude!”

“My name is Captain America! And there is no way you really punched Hitler or held him at gun point! You are too young.”

“I did so! I have video and stop trying to distract me! It is your stupid friend trying to put the moves on my innocent little girl.”

Amy heard this and started laughing.

“Rory, it’s okay!”

“NO IT IS NOT!”

“Dad, yes, it really is. I only wanted to see if I could try a new formula of lipstick on him. It worked. And it wasn’t even in the top five kisses I’ve ever had.”

Everyone turned around to see Tony Stark laying on the ground unable to move.

“Oh, okay then. Can we go home now? I have to be at the hospital early.”

“Are you a doctor?” asked Natasha looking him over.

“No, a nurse.”

Clint Barton couldn’t help but snicker. It was the last thing he remembers doing as mother & daughter punched him together.

The End

The End

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