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The Red Slayer

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This story is No. 1 in the series "The Angry Red Slayer". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: After the fall from the tower, Buffy is called where she is needed...Barsoom.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > ClassicsbatzulgerFR182739,2481214627,4949 Nov 1123 Nov 11Yes

I -- View from a Long Fall

Plunging to your death, even when it's to save the world, is not fun. Glory was down, Doc was down, Tara had her mind back and was with Willow, Dawn was safe, Xander and Anya were sort of together, and Spike and I had come to an understanding. I had lived longer than most Slayers and I knew my job came with an expiration date.

I tumbled as I fell and as I was facing the sky. Beyond the vortex that had opened up, I saw the stars and the planets spinning around and in the center a single red dot. I had never been much of science girl, but even I knew that was Mars. Named after a war god. It seemed appropriate that I would see it in my last moments. I mean what was I? Just a supernatural warrior.

As I looked at it it seemed to call me across all that space. Like a magnet pulling Mr. Wizard's iron filings. I closed my eyes, stretched out my arms and felt the pull as it dragged me through the cold and the darkness.



I woke up lying on some weird springy mossy stuff and I was stark naked. If this was heaven, God had some explaining to do, and if it was hell, it had gotten a bad rap. It was noonish and the sun was warm, and all of a sudden I just knew I was on Mars.

I was in the middle of a field of this yellow moss with occasional sparkly boulders pushing through it. Over to my left was a small stone building-y thing. I didn't see any water or any other signs of civilization, and as I had a serious case of dry-mouth I decided to get up, and check out the neighborhood.

Getting to my feet made me feel like I was in a bouncy house. I could really jump before. Slayer strength you know. But now I felt like my legs were spring-loaded and I took off straight up into the sky about twenty feet. Landing was soft at least so I made an important mental note. Martian gravity equals flyweight Buffy. After taking a few egg-practice-like moments to learn how to walk without falling on my face, and trusty Slayer-reflexes to the fore, I decided to crawl over to the building, as that only looked slightly stupid instead of America's Funniest Videos-worthy.

There were no doors or windows on the side I was on, but it was only a little shorter than me so I carefully climbed on top. I was lying on a glass roof about four or so inches thick. Underneath were about a hundred pure white giant eggs. A bunch had already hatched and the former occupants were looking up at me with definite curiosity.

They were yellowish green with big heads, long necks, thin bodies, and a lot of legs. Their eyes were a lot like a chameleons or a K'lmar demons. You know the kind that can look at two different things at once? They also had tiny little ears and slit nostrils so that ruled out K'lmar.

Their eyes were dark red which really jumped out from the white eyeball and they had small but nasty looking tusk-ish teeth sticking up from their lower jaws. They were weirdly hideously cute and it was really neat watching them hatch out of their shells and start looking around at the world. Just then I heard a soft scrape behind me.

I spun and nearly fell over, but managed to keep what was left of my dignity as I saw a group of the little guy's relatives charging down on me. About ten feet away was the point of a very large, very sharp looking spearhead that was attached to a pole about forty feet long.

The grown-up holding on to the spear, was about fifteen foot tall and on Earth, probably would've weighed close to a quarter of a ton. He sat on his horse? His whatever, the same way a human would with his lowest legs wrapped around it, while his two right hands held that mondo spear and his two left hands were stretched out for balance. He was a dark olive green and his tusks stretched up to be about even with his eyeline.

His horsy-thing was also pretty imposing. About two Buffy's tall at the shoulder and four legs on each side with a huge flat tail. It had a wide mouth full of nasty looking teeth also. Looking down I saw how they had snuck up on me. It's feet were big and padded, like a jumbo set of sneakers.

Behind this first guy, there were a lot of others. All well armed and angry looking. As I was naked and unarmed, fleeing seemed like the best option so I jumped. I must have gone a hundred feet up and away from the incubator before I landed. The moss soaked the impact pretty well so I wasn't hurt.

Back over at the charging mob, they had all stopped and some were staring at me with a look a lot like you would get if you started seeing a hamster sing, while the others were checking out the kids to make sure the mean human hadn't messed with them. They started chatting with each other and doing the point at the naked blond thing.

The fact that I hadn't hurt their kids and that I was unarmed, may have calmed them down some, but the biggest thing, I found out later was my flea impression. Even though these Martians are big and strong, they're big and strong for Martian gravity. That means that a normal human could probably out wrestle them if they were well-trained, while the big guys could probably barely stand on Earth.

That meant my jump was just as spectacular on Mars as it would have been in Sunny-D, and made me some instant fanboys who would rather capture me than serve up a Buffy-kebab.

I thought about just taking off running as the big guys approached me, but then I saw that all of them had a honking huge rifle strapped beside them. And with me being in the middle of a prairie with no place to hide...That did not bode well for escape at this time.

One of them dismounted and stripped off his weapons before walking towards me. When he was about ten feet away he unclipped a solid gold looking bracelet from one of his left wrists and offered it to me while saying something Martiany. He then stood there waiting for my answer.

Not speaking Martian, I was, for once, at a loss for words. I finally decided to put my hand over my heart and bow while saying nice things about the color of his fangs and the weather, because if they had wanted me dead, I would have been. So this had to be some kind of peace thingy. I then stepped forward and reaching wayyyy up, took the bracelet and clipped it around my upper left arm while smiling.

He smiled back and interlocking one of his lower arms with mine, escorted me back to the others who still sat there waiting. He then lifted me on to the back of his horsy-thing and mounted himself. Then all of us rode off into the prairie.
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