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Summary: Edward gets his bite on. Kurt gets his fabulous on.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Twilight > General(Recent Donor)LunaFR1311,8020769311 Nov 1111 Nov 11Yes

Summary: Edward gets his bite on. Kurt gets his fabulous on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Glee or Angel. Also, I don’t regularly watch Glee so my apologies for anything seeming ‘off’.

Inspiration: The TtH Forum topic: ‘Killing Sparkle-pires’ and feynstrom’s mention of: “I mean it weren't so bad if she had done the sparkles right - they're dead but they're FABULOUS!” ;)

Note: I do not condone the language that two of my characters use. In fact, I hate it, but do know (from working with high school students) it is realistic.

“Watch it,” a snide voice called from above.

Kurt grimaced briefly before pasting a cheerful smile on his face. He leaned forward to pick up his books that lay sprawled over the pavement in front of McKinley High. Shoving them into his book bag, he climbed to his feet and avoided the gaze of the football player who had purposely knocked him down.

“Better watch out, man. You might turn the fag on if you touch him; even just pushing him,” another football player, this one with blond hair, joked.

Kurt gave the first football player a disdainful look. “Yeah, he’s not really my type. I prefer my men to be smarter than a fifth grader,” he commented flippantly. Being the only ‘out’ student in high school was hard - really hard - sometimes. But that didn’t mean he was going to let the bullies win. They might be bigger than him but they sure as heck weren’t as smart.

“What did you say to me?” the football player asked heatedly.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if high school bullies all got the same lines from basic cable movies and then practiced in the mirror, or if they literally came up with this stuff. Regardless, he mentally reprimanded himself for talking back to these guys in the back school parking lot, at dark (Glee practice had just ended; it had lasted late since they were practicing for the upcoming concert), with no one around. Probably not the smartest thing he’s ever done…

“Yo, grab the fag, Tommy. If he’s gonna talk back he needs to get his ass whupped,” the first bully ordered fiercely.

Tommy snickered. “Devon, you know he probably likes it up the ass; really think we should hurt him that way?”

Kurt didn’t like this. One bit. He turned on his heels quickly and began walking away. He wondered if he should just start running; but then he remembered watching something in Biology class how predators are more likely to see a running animal to be prey, so he decided against it.

It was too bad. Maybe he should have run, even if he wouldn’t have been able to outrace Tommy and Devon.

Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and threw him down on the pavement. Kurt heard a bone crack and something sticky and wet filled his mouth. Hissing in pain, he sought to get up but he heard the bullies jeering him. A foot impacted his ribs and then another. His vision turned red and hot pain exploded his senses. Instinctively he curled into a ball, attempting to thwart the worst of the attack.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, he heard the other boys cry out, and then there was silence. Through his fuzzy vision he saw a dark figure drawing near; finally it crouched next to him. Words were said but Kurt didn’t really understand their meaning. He just nodded his head, wanting the pain to end.

But it didn’t end. The figure…the person?...bit him. Instantly icy hot pain flooded his veins, leaving Kurt screaming in agony. Whatever he had been feeling before had been negated in the awakening of pain from this bite.

Finally, he passed out and the pain was no more.


The first thing he smelled was the heavy scent of industry – smoke and exhaust and chemicals. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and coughed in an attempt to expel the scent from his nostrils. Next he heard a train, although it sounded like he was on the tracks due to the sheer noise of it. Hands slapped over his ears and Kurt opened his bleary eyes.

Yellow aging wallpaper lined the room and he was seated on a bed that had seen better days. No lights were on in the room but a slim strip of light escaped past the blinds to illuminate the room slightly.

“You’re awake.”

Kurt’s ears cocked at the masculine voice and his head moved slowly to face the speaker, who was sitting in a chair by the television stand.

“Uh…hey,” Kurt greeted shyly. Oh god…did he and this guy hook up? Wincing distastefully, Kurt couldn’t believe he went home with a guy who stayed in such a dirty place as this.

The guy’s eyes widened in surprise and he shook his head feverishly. “Oh, no! Um, we didn’t, uh, ‘hook-up’. Uh…” The guy’s voice trailed off and Kurt gave him a suspicious look. Call him crazy but it was almost like this guy had read his mind.

Just then his stomach rumbled and a cramp clenched his stomach, but Kurt ignored it. He could get breakfast later….maybe some waffles?

His stomach clenched in denial. No, waffles suddenly didn’t sound good. No, he was more so thirsty. Maybe some nice orange juice…

“Actually, I can read minds,” the guy said in embarrassment with a shrug of his shoulders. “My name is Edward.”

Kurt’s jaw dropped. “Uh, what?” he practically yelped.

Then the Edward guy went on to tell a story of how he heard Kurt’s attack happened and had stopped the boys, but Kurt’s blood had been so tantalizing that he couldn’t help but bite him and—

“—Wait, WHAT?” Kurt shouted. He was suddenly on his feet, moving so quickly he produced a light wind that fluttered the tattered floral-patterned curtains around the window. “You…You BIT me?”

Edward winced. “It’s hard for me to control myself around human blood out in the open like that…but I did stop, so…”

A memory of the dark figure biting into Kurt’s arm flashed through his mind and he glanced at his arm. Sure enough, there were human bite marks.

“Okay guy, I don’t know what kind of kink you are into, but biting is not cool.” Kurt gave the room a contemptuous look. “Especially not cool is kidnapping me into creepy rooms for your sex parties.”

“Wait, I didn’t bring you here for sex!” Edward said hastily as he stood to his feet.

Hmm, while Kurt was glad he wasn’t somehow date raped he was slightly disappointed that Edward was so vehemently against having sex with him, since he was really really hot.

Edward’s face flushed and Kurt berated himself for thinking dirty thoughts around the mind reader.

“Listen, Kurt,” Edward said stiffly. “Because I bit you, you’re now a vampire. I’m sorry. I’ll teach you to learn to live without human blood and try to help where I can.”

Mind reader or not, this guy was crazy. Kurt abruptly began walking towards the door when he caught his reflection in the glass.

Red eyes looked back out at him.

Kurt screamed.

“What did you do? Do you realize what a freak I look like? Who will sign me to a label when I have weird albino devil eyes!” Kurt wailed.

“Oh, that’ll go away if you just drink animal blood. Human drinkers have red eyes.” Edward stepped closer and pointed to his soft amber eyes. “See,” he said helpfully. “They’ll look nicer soon.”

This was madness. To hell with this. Not only was Edward-the-mind-reader-vampire crazy but Kurt had a Glee solo to practice. The concert was in 3 nights!

“Um, actually, you’ve been sleeping for the past 3 days,” Edward admitted. “That’s how long the transformation takes.”

“Wait, you are telling me that the concert is tonight?” Kurt screeched dramatically.

“Well, yes—”

Kurt ran out the door and into the motel parking lot. The sun shined brightly, in stark contrast to the darkness of the room, and he winced painfully.

“Kurt, wait! You don’t understand,” Edward called.

Frowning, Kurt turned around and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m a vampire. Maybe. But no matter what, I am not missing my solo tonight!”

“But you don’t understand,” Edward said with a plaintive sigh. “You’re cursed, all because of me. Now you have the bloodlust, not to mention your monstrous form. I am so sorry, Kurt.”

Reflexively, Kurt patted his face. “Monstrous form?” he yelped.

Edward nodded slowly, his amber eyes full of remorse. “Yes, just look at your skin and see the monster within.”

Horrified, Kurt looked down at his bare arms…and saw his skin glittering. He gave Edward a puzzled look. “Okay, so you put body glitter on me. That’s not the first time I’ve worn it,” he said with a slight smile.

Sighing dramatically, Edward buried his head in his hands. “No, that is how your skin truly appears in the sunlight! You shall sparkle for all of eternity!” he wailed morosely.

Mystified, Kurt looked at Edward and then looked at his own skin. Yup, they were both sparkling.

A slow smile slid over Kurt’s face as the pieces of this particular sparkling puzzle snapped into place.

“The sparkling is a curse!” Edward bemoaned.

“Are you kidding me?” Kurt grinned and sang out his next words. “Sparkling is FABULOUS!”


Later that night Kurt performed the solo and sparkled brightly underneath the stage lights. His voice sounded more joyful than an angel orgy and the entire crowd teared up at his song.

Rachel Berry, his friend and competition, asked him what had given Kurt that special edge. He almost told her the truth but decided he didn’t want her pestering him about turning her – god, he loved her but would be damned if he had to spend eternity with Rachel Berry.


1 year later

Harmony Kendall, vampire celebrity and one of Maxim’s ‘Hot 100’, gave the camera a dazzling smile from her place on stage. “Welcome back to Harmony Bites.” The crowd cheered and Harmony preened for the camera. Since the existence of vampires was public knowledge (which was all thanks to her!) she had a hit TV show. It was basically pretty awesome.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest. He is the number one performer in the world and the vampire responsible for turning hotties Jake Gyllenhall and Tobey McGuire into bloodsucking creatures of the night!” Harmony grinned as the women and gay/bi men in the audience let out a raucous cheer.

“Today, I am proud to present Kurt, who will be performing ‘Get on my Disco Stick’!”

Kurt leaped onto stage, reveling in his preternatural athletic abilities and gave the world a wide smile. Let Edward have his curse – he loved his fabulous and sparkly self.


Review, my lovies. Please and thank you :)

PS: Most projects are on hold because I’m working every weekend and I have a million graduate school apps due Dec 1st and 15th. Ahhhhh! Writing fiction is SO much more fun than personal statements! *grumble, grumble*

The End

You have reached the end of "Dead & FABULOUS!". This story is complete.

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