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The Kick First, Ask Question Never Kind Of Guy

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Summary: Sometimes, Danno felt keenly aware that someone somewhere was laughing their ass off at him. This time it felt just like that.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Hawaii Five-OATLenyaFR181929011,68211 Nov 1111 Nov 11Yes
Disclaimers: Hawai'i 5-0 and BtVS are owned by their respective owners. I just like to poke fun at them. And crossovers... I like crossovers. :D

N/A: FFA Pairing: Xander Harris+Danno & Steve McGarett (Hawai'i 5-0)
Saw the pairing. Just HAD to write something about it 8D. Not Slash, just fun :]


For what felt like at least the thousandth time since an express order from the Governor of Hawai'i herself had forced his partnership with one Steven McGarett, Daniel Williams wondered what deity he'd pissed off, in this or in any former lives. For a punishment like this, he hoped he'd at least got the girl and bedded her, because this was just ridiculously painful.

The day had started simply enough, he’d had a very nice phone conversation with his daughter, punctuated by the incessant interruption of aforementioned McGarrett who was yet again commandeering his lovely ride and condemning him to shotgun, all the while prattling on about pineapples, of all things.

They then, had to drop in on one of Danno’s informants about information on a deal that was supposed to happen in the evening at the docks.

A screening of recent migrations in the Island singled out one particular individual who was said to work with a deeply secretive organisation that dealt in antiquities and obscure litterary work.

Steve’s interest had immediately been picked when seeing the picture of the guy. Who in their right mind could believe that a guy with an eyepatch and a history of being around murder investigations involving young girls, could be an book enthusiast, really?

So they followed the lead and found themselves at one of the most prestigious hotels in the Island just as the sun set. They arrived just in time to see their suspiciously overly covered suspect walking out with a young girl at least half his age.

Decided to wait and maybe catch him with the hand in the cookie jar, they followed him from afar, Danno feeling irrepressibly furious as he watched the slightly younger man joke around with the girl while leading her into a small alley.

The short scream that followed pushed the two men into action and they rushed into the alley.

What followed would be forever anchored in Danno’s mind under the category of “The Stupid Things That Are Totally Steve McGarett’s Fault”.

The guy was on the ground, straddling the form of the young girl who was screaming something at him, but the detective wasn’t really in any state to listen.

Steve, however, was faster than him (damn stupid SEAL trainings) and threw himself at the guy, tackling him and throwing him off the girl.

Danno immediately went to help the girl up but was only pushed aside for his effort (with a bit too much strength for such a tiny girl at that!) before he witnessed something he would swear to always cherish the memory, well beyond his grave.

He watched on as Steve I-Am-Navy-SEAL-Bow-Before-My-Badassness McGarrett got his ass handed to him by a slip of a girl, no taller than 5'5, weighing maybe 88 lbs and, to add insult to injury, being no older than 14 years-old.

The situation would have devolved from bad to clusterfuck if their suspect hadn’t step in at that moment, forcing the girl to back off from her perch on Steve’s back, letting him stand back up.

To say the whole thing had been freaking surreal would be the euphemism that end all euphemisms and the New Jersey native decided that keeping his mouth shut might be the best course of action, especially with how fiercely the girl was glaring at them, muttering under her breath in what seemed to be another language entirely.

It only went worse when the guy started to honestly babble at them at a speed that should defy the laws of the Universe and Danno wondered distractedly if he was one of those freaky people that could hold their breath forever *kof*like a certain former SEAL*kof*.

Before they could even start to process what the hell had just happened, the two Five-O had been reconducted to their car by the girl and their suspect before the two disappeared again.

And when they’d finally returned to a relatively normal state of mind, out of the babble-induced daze, they immediately went back to the Hotel, only to discover that the man they had come for had had to leave in a hurry and left not 5 minutes before.

A quick call the HQ told them that no passenger under the name they sought had taken any flight to the Main Land. They searched all night, without any success. Alexander Lavelle Harris had just disappeared.

And now, Danno was left to tend to the wounded ego of his partner through diatribes and eloquent monologues, continuing to wonder where the hell their suspect had disappeared to, especially considering that the Governor herself had called in to ask them to drop all investigations on him and anyone that was part of the IWC organisation.

And Steve was being just that tad bit extra needling in his verbal spar and downright bitchy to the detective, that said that the man wasn’t ready to let go of the whole thing either.

Again. What had he done and to whom, for this to be his punishment, really?

One thing was sure. “Xander” Harris would spend a long time in a small interrogation room the next time they came across him, just for the cheer headache that their short encounter had engendered.

The End

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