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Divine Ideas From A Demonic Mind

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Summary: A series of One-shots to get rid of the over flow of ideas in my oxymoronic head. Hope you enjoy the chaos. *Mostly Xander Centered* If you feel like doing any of these feel free, just tell and credit me. I want to see these grow.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet Collections(Recent Donor)TheDivineDemonFR152483,450419082,19614 Nov 1122 Mar 14No

No Limitations

Another alternate take on Xander being pushed out of the group. If It's Xander-Stu tell me because I honestly hate that shit. I try to give power ups through work or hardship. Though, this one's not so much a power up.

Summary: There is a reason why Giles let Xander and Willow stay in the group.

Story: Hunting With No Limitations

Rupert Giles took off his glasses and slowly started to massage his eyes. He couldn't believe it. After all the work he put in to stop it from happening those two dunder heads excusing themselves for teenage girls went and mucked it all up. He could only hope to salvage the situation as best as he could.

But still he couldn't believe it so he asked again, "Tell me again what you did."

Buffy and Willow briefly shared a look wondering why Giles seemed so upset. They would have thought he would have liked their idea, after all he was complaining just yesterday about how he had to put up with Xander's insisting chatter.

"We told Xander that he should stay out of Slaying." Buffy said slowly, as if to child. This was the third time he had her explain and it was getting irritating. "Because he kept on jumping and getting hurt."

"And that he shouldn't come to as many research parties" Willow added helpfully "Because, you know, he kind of sleeps through them."

Giles tried to count to ten to calm himself but only made it to four before his temper flared, "Do you have any idea what you've done?" He snapped out making both girls flinch.

Buffy quickly steeled herself and glared back at the man, "We're keeping him out of danger! And you even said it yourself, he gets in the way!"

It hurt her a little to say that about her friend but it was true. Always cracking jokes while they were researching distracting them from their task and jumping into the fray like he had no cares in the world, or at least for his life.

Something had to be done.

"And I would rather have him there so I could keep my damn eyes on him!" He snapped back in a harsher tone, his accent bleeding way for another rougher one "Why in the bleedin' hell do you think I even allowed those two to help you?"

Again both girls flinched back both from his tone and use of language. Out of the two of them only Buffy was able to strangle out a "What?".

Giles took a breath in another feeble and near useless attempt to calm himself "Why do you think I allowed Xander and Willow to even help you when they found out about you being the Slayer instead of turning them away?" he asked rhetorically and cut Buffy off before she could answer, "It was so I could keep an eye on them."

They blinked and Willow asked "Why would you keep an eye on us?"

He answered instantly, as he was already well on his way to a rant, "Because not only did you just find out about the supernatural but suffered a crushing loss soon after. All the makings for an independent hunter, something we certainly don't need on the Hellmouth. No restraint those people. None at all. Always too wrapped up in grief they don't realize what they are doing and get themselves or somebody else killed" There was a pause for a heartbeat as those words sunk in "So against my better judgment I let you two stay, learn what you could while keeping you relatively safe. I may have found it infuriating at time but at least I knew you were safe for now and hoped eventually you'd grow out of it."

He let out a sigh and stared off into the distance, almost totally ignoring the girls now "But you didn't. You two stayed stead fast in your beliefs that you could help. Doing everything you could to get better so you could help." he turned slightly towards Willow, "You know, Xander asked to learn magic first. After we dealt with Amy's mother he came to me and asked if he could do that too."

"But Xander can't do magic!" Willow blurted out, remembering his disastrous attempt at a love spell.

"Yes, we soon found he had nearly no aptitude for the subject." Giles said, mildly wondering if he should point out it wasn't Xander who cast the spell she was probably thinking of, "He was rather frustrated about that. Probably why he dived into the other lessons so eagerly." That or he was an average teenage boy.

"Other lessons?" Buffy queried

Giles gave a deadpanned look "Surely you didn't think he learned how to maintain and use weapons by himself did you?" Buffy opened her mouth and then wisely closed it. "Of course not." he said almost patronizingly before letting out a sigh "I had hoped though, over time, that maybe he could let go of some of that anger he felt. But he hasn't. It's been two years and he's still angry, he still hates." He paused for a moment in thought "In fact it may have only gotten worse over the years. "Kicking him out" may have been the worst possible thing to do"

Buffy took a gulp of air and asked, "Why?"

"Because now he doesn't have anyone stopping him from doing something incredibly stupid."

War Diary entry 1

War Diary. It's funny that I call it that.

All Punisher-y. It sounds cool but the truth of the name sweeps over me quick.

This is a diary of my war, an actual WAR. This is where I will write down every little detail of my battles and learn from them. Improve upon them.

And when I die, and I know it'll come soon, I hope someone else will find this and take up the fight. Those blood sucking bastards have been a plague upon this world for far too long. We need to start culling their numbers. It's them or us. It's always been them or us. Why couldn't I see it till now?

It was a war for survival on both sides. We humans wishing to keep our lives and vampires not wanting to starve to death. I feel no sympathy for them but I understand. I understand the need to eat but they chose the wrong prey.

Humans have a bite to them and I'm not afraid to show it.

And now, I didn't have to wait. Daylight was no longer safe for them. No more Willow and Giles to drag me to School like some toddler. Just me, some vampires and a humidifier


War Diary entry 2

Humidifying the air with Holy Water is somewhat effective but best used only to soften up the enemy.

Makes them get a kind of a cold. Burning rash, stinging eyes, harsh coughs when they take breaths in to talk or scream. Pretty decent pickings after that.

Don't see why Giles said it was a bad idea before. Shit worked out great

Almost to prove him wrong Willow and Buffy immediately started a search for their male friend. But they failed to find him in any of his classes that day.

So they assumed, or hoped, that he was home sick. But when they went to his house and dealt with a hung over Mrs. Harris they found that no, he was not there and his own mother barely cared.

After that failing they checked every single one of his usual hang outs hoping to find even a hint of him. Only one place saw him within the last day, a gas station/convince store, and that was only for a minute to but gas and a few other supplies.

They couldn't help but ask a few questions to themselves and each other as they walked back to the library.

Where was their friend? What was he doing? And what did he need kitty litter and orange juice for?

War Diary Entry 7

I should have known that napalm recipe in that Fight Club book was a joke. Kitty litter and orange concentrate my ass. Luckily the gasoline still burned well enough and the leeches are about a thousand times more flammable than a human.

Also, another thing that should have been obvious, napalm (or it's cheap ass imitation)does not fire well from a water gun. Got clipped today from that mistake, hid in the window before it could take a second strike at me.

Seriously, day light hunting so much easier.

Though the wound was decently deep.

Alright, for all you future hunters reading this I'm going to teach you a field med trick this one guy taught me last Halloween



Agh! Ideas stop coming! Let me write in peace!

Annoyance aside the idea on this shot is kind of a mesh between Punisher with the war journals, Supernatural in how he deals with the enemy, and Where's Waldo/Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego vibe because most of the story taking place form the point of view of the searching/worrying Scoobies and Xander's journal.

And sorry that it wasn't that long of a shot but I figured it got the idea across.

As always tell me what you think and peace.
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