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Summary: Random chapters and one shots that came out of my head. If people like one enough or if I gets really stuck in my head I might turn them into full stories.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Ficlet Collections - OtherTaoTeChingFR18622,5603256,47722 Nov 118 Mar 12No

Ba'al of Yarn + The Ooze that Binds

Ba'al of Yarn (Lord of the Story)

Alright, a brief introduction.

My head pops out strange ideas all the time. Ask anyone who knows me or has read anything I've written. So this is going to be my dump spot for a number of those ideas. At least those that have to do with the Buffy series. Maybe I'll even throw in some ones that don't.

But anyway, I get a strange idea, I write a few pages and I dump it here. Maybe I'll continue the idea and end up dropping a few chapters in here at random. Maybe I'll just leave it as a one shot.

You know what? Screw it, I'll even take YOUR stupid/random ideas. If they appeal to me I'll write something up. Absolutely NO assurance that I'll write anything you lunatics send, so don't get uppity.

Anyway, on to the first brain fart.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer stuff. That's Joss and Mutant Enemy's domain. Where angel's fear to tread...

The Ooze that Binds

“He’s nearly here?” the voice of the demon was one which normally would fill others with dread. This time, however, there was an uncertain quaver to his tone that made his underlings exchange looks and grip their guns tighter as they stood at attention on either side of his throne. “You FOOLS! He is one Man! How can one man do THIS?” He slammed a massive fist into the arm of his throne causing the stone to break and the lackey to duck away from some shards before standing to attention again.

The ‘throne room’ had belonged to the local warlord before Thanagog had chosen to show him what it meant to be a true Warlord. Where before it had contained dozens of armed demons with both modern firearms and archaic weapons it was mostly empty save for his personal guards, the wounded messenger who had brought the news, and the girl hanging by her ankles from chains.

Thanagog’s red gaze turned on the girl and he rose, walking over to her. The demon was more than 8 feet tall with the stumps of long broken horns on his forehead, the wounds had been made long before now but they ached especially hard today. He grabbed the chains by her ankles and lifted her until her face was level with his. She was a local native, a girl of one of the wandering tribes. She was beautiful, or would be if her body wasn’t covered in dark splotchy bruises and lacerations. She had come in a few days before causing trouble, slaying a number of his men before he had organized them and captured her. One of the new breed of Slayers, a child called to do good and fight against evil. Where before there had been but one there were now dozens, hundreds of the things scurrying around. He had thought he could avoid them by coming here but no, one had come after him. But she was new, barely Called, and hitting well out of her league.

“What do you know of this, child?” When she didn’t respond he shook the chain causing her to shake violently back and forth and groan in pain around her gag. He ripped the gag from her mouth and asked again. She responded with a bloody logy to his eye. He backhanded her with his free hand and released the chain from his other letting her drop and sway once more.

He turned to the messenger, walking over to the cowering demon and grabbing him by the front of his shirt, lifting him off his feet with ease. “Why isn’t he dead? It is one man, against my legion.”

“He isn’t alone,” the demon’s yellow skin was patched with nervous blotches of purple making him look more than faintly ridiculous. “There is the giggling thing.”

“What giggling thing?” the warlord’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“I don’t know, none of us saw it clearly, just sometimes there would be a… giggle, and then a scream.” He stammered, the purple blotches breaking up and drifting across his skin. “It would come from places were the man was not, but we never saw what it was that killed the men we found.”

“What happened to my men!” Thanagog shook the wounded messenger who was unable to reply.

“Dead,” came the voice from the doorway. It wasn’t loud or imposing, it was just a voice, a human voice. The warlord dropped the demon and turned to the doorway, reaching for his sword with one hand and motioning to his men who lifted their guns. He would have liked to have a gun as well, but none were designed to be wielded by a demon such as himself.

The human in the entrance didn’t look like much and though he had spoken Swahili he was white and his accent clearly American, slender build, every one of the demons in the room, even the wounded messenger looked stronger than him, he wasn’t even that impressive by human standards, fit but not strong. A mop of black hair mostly obscured the patch over his left eye. His clothes were dull, utilitarian fatigues so common in this area of Africa, again, nothing impressive. He didn’t even appear armed.

“Well, I say dead. But I’ve got to hand it to you, some of your men were smarter than I gave them credit for and they’re running far, far away,” he smiled a stupid little smile as Thanagog pointed his sword at the human. The chained girl struggled as she saw the emerald flames spring up around the blade, trying to get free to defend the man, but in her weakened state she could only watch.

“I can’t say the same for you though,” the man taunted. Thanagog raised his sword to unleash his fury but froze when he heard the giggle. It was a high chortling, the sort of sound that the delicious little human baby’s made sometimes. It was a bubbling little laugh that managed to send a dread shiver down his spine. The demon at his feet whimpered and curled into a little ball, hands over his head, eyes tight shut, the purple blotches spreading over his entire body.

The demons that had been flanking the throne fired their weapons at something, but Thanagog did not turn to see, his gaze fixed on the man in the doorway who was just smiling at him, also ignoring the two. The girl however could see, and with her eyes wide and the way she stopped struggling, she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, though her expression told the demon all he needed to know. A moment later the guns stopped and all was silent except the sounds of plaster and bits of wall falling. Then the giggle came again, behind him to his right, closer now.

He swallowed, his sword still raised, flames licking along its length, but it no longer seemed enough. “What do you want?”

“The girl,” the man pointed at the dangling captive. “Give her to me and I walk out of here, and you get to live.”

“That’s all?” All that had happened for a girl? Granted she was a Slayer, but there were plenty of them around, easy to replace if one was lost.

“That is enough,” the man smiled, but it didn’t reach his eye. There was something cold and hard that promised retribution far worse than what had happened to any of his warriors if he did not hand over the girl.

“And I get to live. I never want to see or hear from you again.”

The man seemed to think about that, then nodded. “We walk out of this building and you’re on your own. But I can promise that so long as you leave the Slayers alone you’ll never see or hear from me again.”

The blade swung and the girl fell, the chain severed without warning. It was not an easy landing with her arms bound and unable to roll into a ball in time to lessen the impact. Thanagog turned and walked back to his throne, trying to ignore the two dead guards their bodies twisted and broken, clearly dead, but he could not tell how without further examining them, and now was not the time for that. He tried to ignore the line of bullet holes that ran along the back of his throne as he sat. The man was by the girl, the manacles tossed aside and her arms unbound.

She tried to speak but he silenced her with a shake of the head and she nodded. Her gaze hardening as she looked back at Thanagog.

“Come on. I’ve got some food and things for you in my jeep and some sweet goodies.” A small excited giggle came from the hall beyond the door. Thanagog watched with red eyes, he had never seen the giggling thing, but he promised himself that he would find out what it was and find a very specific protection against it.

Xander helped the girl up she looked like she was going to charge off and attack the demon with the giant flaming sword, a bad idea in most cases, but he put a hand on her arm and stopped her. She gave him a look and tried to shrug him off but he held on. “Your family is waiting Imani,” his accent was heavy and unfamiliar to her, but she understood his words and she stopped. She was worried about her family, and what the demons might have done to them after she killed so many of them.

“Don’t worry, his type always meet a bad end,” he smiled and helped her up easily, letting her lean against him as he lead her out of the room. Imani’s eyes widened as she saw the room beyond, littered with the pieces of dead demons, very few of them had remained whole. The smell hit her and she tried to hold back vomiting, it wasn’t hard the demons had not let her eat in two days.

“Sorry about the smell,” she looked up at him incredulously, he wasn’t even that dusty. There was no way he was responsible for that quantity of gore.

Something dropped onto his shoulder and Imani turned away, afraid to see what demonic organ had fallen onto him, but then her head whipped around as it began to purr. She looked at it hesitantly as Xander reached up to pet it before scooping it up and slipping it into a pocket. It looked like nothing more than a semi translucent ball of blue goo. It was the same thing as the throne room, she was sure, but then it had been red, and… she shuddered at the memory.

“Don’t let him frighten you, he’s mostly harmless,” she gave him an incredulous look as they stepped out of the building, more corpses scattered around, though carrion birds were beginning to feast on them. “Mostly,” he insisted and lead her over towards a jeep. He helped her in before giving her a canteen of water that she greedily drank from before he made her slow down. He got into the driver’s side and headed out of the small village. He stopped a little while from the town and turned to her.

“Under your seat there, there’s a box, could you get that out for me? Thanks,” she handed him the box, a tough green case. He opened it and pulled something out, held it in his hand thoughtfully for a second before handing it to her. A safety cover had been thrown and a switch flipped, a small red light blinking silently.

“What is it?”

“A bad ending. Go on, press the button, it’ll help.” He turned to look back at the town and she pressed the button wondering precisely how it would help. She was answered a moment later by the series of explosions. She turned and watched in amazement as building after building exploded and collapsed in the demon town, the most spectacular being the large building that had been claimed by Thanagog. There was a massive plume of blue tinted flames that engulfed the building.

“If he lived, he’ll be really, really ticked off,” the man said, watching with satisfaction. “But then, I doubt he lived. Shame about the sword, that would have looked nice on my wall.” The blue thing poked something out of his pocket, she realized it was a head when the surface bent and twisted into a broad gooey smile and it giggled again. “Come on, lets get you home and talk about your future.”

Xander drove off as the town collapsed behind him. He doubted it would have lived this long without the friend in his pocket. How many years had it been? Oh, and the memories…

***(Years ago)***

“Xander I swear if you don’t put that thing back in its jar I’m going to shove it in the Microwave and turn it on HIGH!” Buffy brought the huge tome down onto the table trying to obliterate the slimy creature.

“Tried that,” Anya grumbled from behind the register at the Magic Shop where she was counting the money for the third time that hour. “It just bubbled and laughed.”

“He does love his merry go round,” Xander watched as Buffy tried to swat it again, only for it to escape and blow an impressive raspberry before speedily making its way to Xander, hopping into the jar on the counter and screwing the lid back on itself. “He makes a great nightlight now though,” Xander picked up the jar, shaking it, making the ooze inside laugh before it began glowing blue brightly.

“I swear I have no idea why we let you keep that thing,” Buffy groused.

“Because it is absolutely adorable,” Dawn said from behind her stack of books.


Well, maybe it would be best to start at the beginning…

Author's Note:
Yea, what do you think? Maybe I'll post some more of that, maybe I won't. Still not sure yet.

But anyway, much more to come. Of that I am certain.

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