Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges


StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Wishlist & Yuletide 2011, 2012, & 2013 fics. Community-sourced inspiration for the holiday that somehow all turned out utterly non-seasonal. Includes: BtVS, Angel, HP, Fringe, SGA, SG-1, WH13, The Dark Is Rising, Star Wars, Firekeeper & Downton Abbey.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple Pairings > Ficlet Collections - OthersmolderFR182131,18801811,9701 Dec 113 Mar 14No

nah nah nah nah...Space Pirates! (Warehouse 13)

Title: nah nah nah nah...Space Pirates!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Warehouse 13 belongs to Jack Kenny and David Simkins.
A/N: "Yuletide 2012" fic for Ladymordecai over at A03.

"Lena. Lena!" he called in the deserted hallway.

"Yes, Dr. Jinksy?" she appeared out of emptiness before him – her flowing floral top floating a bit in a non-existent breeze as it settled around her as the light coalesced. Wild curls and eyes that seemed to always hold secrets, regarded him. Not for the first time he had to wonder who would make an AI such as her.

"Dr. Jinksy?" she asked again.

"Jinks," he responded automatically.

"Of course," she said. But something about the way her lips curled for barely a second as she said it told him there was no escaping the nickname he acquired as soon as he boarded this ship – not even from the ship herself apparently.

"Shouldn't they be back already?" he asked the question that had been bothering him.

His answer came echoing along the hall. "I've told you before not to watch the clock, Doctor," Artie came around the turn and gave him a tired smile. Claudia her hair covered in a bandana, face and coveralls (embellished with multiple patches) streaked with grease tagged along behind him. "You know Myka and Pete tend to hit some snags but they're the best there are. We'll give them another half hour before we all start worrying," he gauged everyone's faces. "Alright? Good," with an abrupt nod he continued down the hall.

Sharing a look, Leena, Claudia, and Jinks followed him.


30 Minutes Later

"Fine. Fine, we can worry now," Artie muttered, closing his data screen, and swiveling his chair to look head on at the crew members who had stalked him to his office. "Don't say anything," he pointed, a finger at two in paticular.

"Of course not. We would never say anything along the lines of: 'I told you so'," Claudia smirked standing up, taking the bandanna she had used to wipe oil off herself and shoving it in her pocket.

"That would have been rude," Dr. Jinks said blandly, standing as well and playfully offering the mechanic his arm, with a quirk of his eyebrow. Claudia shoved the strip of purple hair that stood out brightly amidst her red behind her ear and gave him a smile before curtsying and looping her arm through his. Without a backwards glance they headed off through the door to prep his infirmary in case it was needed this time around – it usually was.

Artie glared half-heartedly at them as he hit the intercom to their pilot, "We might have a problem. Bring us in to the town square where we dropped them off.

"Finally," a British voice said in a clearly irritated tone.

"Just do it, Wells," Artie rolled his eyes but he could already feel the ship rise up smoothly and head north. Leena gave a little finger wave before she blinked out from in front of him.

By the time he had made his way to the Cargo Bay the ship was banking again, and he had to reach a hand out to steady himself against a cool metal beam as the thrusters engaged and they landed.

Leena appeared again to his right and he was much to use to her presence to startle – and she knew as well from working alongside him for so long to know exactly where his blindspots were.

Her eyes were unfocused when he looked over at her. "Myka and Pete are approaching. They are being followed – I'm lowering my ramp."

Before Artie could say anything he heard the mechanical sounds of the large bay door opening outward. And then in the distance closing in fast he recognized gunfire of multiple types. He hissed between his teeth and ran for the weapons hatch in that room.

They got their sooner than he thought. Pete jumping and getting a hand hold, pulling his body up and reaching out for Myka once he was only half way there. Then the two of them rolled over the ramp's edge – all before it even fully opened. Once it got down at more of an angle, bolts of light started firing past them. (Leena could only reverse and close it back so fast.)

Pete suddenly stiffened, eyes wide as his instincts flared, and grabbed Myka pulling them both aside just as a bullet hit where they had just been.

Myka gave him a grin and stood helping to pull her partner up – he obviously was injured in some way. But as soon as he was up one of the people following them had gotten inside and was approaching fast. She pushed them both back, tripping and stumbling all the way, into the nearest wall.

The man smiled cruely thinking he had them panicked and cornered. Not even bothering to shoot them, he had a knife that he held out threateningly. "Hand it over," he growled.

Myka, now with her back pressed into Pete's front tilted her head to smirk at him, the other man nodded. And when their attacker was firmly in range of them she looped both her arms back into his, bracing her entire weight to lean into his chest she sweeped her body around high her foot solidly making contact with his head.

"And he's out," Pete said in an Old-Earth referee voice behind her when both her feet had hit the floor and the man did. Myka smiled despite herself as she disentangled them.

Artie came forward calmly, his Tesla trained on the other man and kicked his weapons away.

Once Myka made sure her partner was seated and securely braced against the wall she came forward and bound their attackers arms. Artie and her pulled him around to a chute not too far a way, built into this ship probably for this reason, and pushed him in it to be ejected back outside.

"Who was it this time?" Artie asked after the fact.

"Police," Myka admitted with a grimace. "Undercover - but, police. We seem to be running into local law enforce more and more these days."

"Did you get the artifact?" he asked.

"Bagged it," Pete said with a grin apparently attempting to grab with his right hand only to frown when it failed to respond and get it with his left. "One of them got me with a stunner," he explained as he handed over the silver bag to Artie.

"And now it's time to tag it," Leena said looking at them all tiredly. "I'll let Dr. Jinksy know he's going to have to bring his medical expertise down here to you," she nodded to Pete. And then she gave Myka a teasing grin. "And I'll open up the line to the bridge before I leave," she said right before she disappeared.

"Are you alright, Myka, dear?" was the immediate question that echoed in the large metal room.

"I'm fine, Helena," Myka responded a smile stretching across her face at the other woman's concern.

"I'm good too, H.G.," Pete called while grinning broadly at a Myka who refused to look at him, he could see her blushing faintly. "I'm sure you were worried about me too."

"Certainly," she intoned dryly.

"Since we're all fine," Artie rolled his eyes. "Would you please make sure we stay that way and get us out of here. Set course for the nearest Warehouse."


By the next morning Pete had full control of his limbs – no more numbness, which was always a major plus. Then he saw what day it was and he almost ran down the halls to where everyone else was already eating breakfast.

"Arrg, ya maties, what fine grub do we have for today?" Pete asked loudly as he burst into the dining area the next morning.

The rest of the crew just stared at him; Artie was already shaking his head, Claudia's eyes were wide, Myka's fork was frozen half way to her mouth, Steve just raised an eyebrow at him, and HG hand had went to her knife at his sudden entrance. They calmed as he took his seat next to his partner.

"Talk like a pirate day?" Pete said (it becoming more a tentative question than an explanation) and moving his finger hook repeatedly in a sad slashing motion when everyone else at the table continued to stare blankly. Leena patted him on the shoulder as she set a platter in front of him.

"Aren't we actually technically pirates anyway?" Claudia asked with a grin, reaching for her drink.

"I knew it. I've been dressing all wrong," Steve shook his head in mock sadness.

Claudia gave a snort at the comment while drinking her orange juice and then glared at the doctor accusingly. He pretended not to notice and she elbowed him anyway.

"Just a misunderstanding," Artie said. "A few misunderstandings," he amended. "Doesn't matter - Ms. Fredrick's is going through the proper channels to get it taken care of", he flapped his hand dismissively.

"And the improper channels," Leena stated, coming to lean (as much as holo-matter does) against the back of Artie's chair. She easily ignored the glare he tossed over his shoulder at her.

"Those do tend to move swifter," H.G. said and the two women who had lived longer than all the others shared a rare amused look of understanding.

"So what you're saying," Pete began, in utterly serious tone that made Myka have to cover her mouth so as not to smile and give him away, "is that we should always be talking like pirates?"

There was an awkward pause then Myka saw Steve shake his head out of the corner of her eye and heard Claudia's giggles but she had gotten herself under control now and was ready to back up her partner.

In the most disappointed voice she could muster she leaned forward and said, "I've got to say Artie, that's really irresponsible of you. How will we ever get anything accomplished if you always want us to be talking like pirates?"

"And what about the people we're meeting on different planets? Are we supposed to use it even then? How are we supposed to expect them to understand us? I seriously doubt pirate-speak is part of the universal translator," Pete shook his head and slouched in his chair. Leaning against him, she could feel him vibrating like an excited little kid and it spurred her on.

"Or is it a certain dialect you have in mind?" Myka asked, brightening dramatically as if suddenly inspired. "The Vikings perhaps!" Then deliberately misinterpreting Artie's scowl she looked at Pete and frowned. Mock whispering she said, "I don't think he knows Pete."

Eyes wide and innocent, Pete whispered back (loud enough for all to hear),"He really should have thought this through."

"Are you done entertaining yourselves?" Artie asked crossing his arms.

They exchanged another looked and grinned unrepentantly. Myka had different relationships, different bonds, with everyone on board but there was no one else that she could just play with quite like Pete. They were so much brother and sister. Too much at time perhaps if the glare their boss was giving them at the moment was any indication.

A blaring alarm excused them from having to answer the question and Leena waved away any tension it caused (the sound stopping as well at the motion).

"It's just the warning you asked me to put in place when we were getting close to the meteor belt," she nodded towards H.G.. "Were not too close yet I can hold auto-pilot for a bit longer if you're not done…,"

But the other woman was already shaking her head. "I'm finished," she stated, standing from the table. As she was leaving the room she set a warm hand on Myka's shoulder as she walked past. "You're welcome to join me if you'd like to continue another one of our talks."

Myka bit her lip, forgetting how to speak for a second and nodded.

Helga smiled looking honestly delighted and left the room. Myka tried to studiously ignore the stifling silence following what had very obviously been a 'moment' between Helena and her. There seemed to many these days.

Finally she gave up and flicked her eye up, circling the table to include everyone, she muttered, "Shut up."

Claudia choked on her orange juice laughing again and Jinks was trying not to smirk as he patted her on the back, not really helping her coughing fit at all. Artie was shaking his head and Leena was giggling freely. Pete threw his arm around her and she could just sense that he was smiling even without looking.

Her family was so weird.

Even for space pirates.
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking