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Smooth as a Snake

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This story is No. 35 in the series "Yu-Gi-Oh Crossovers, Prompts and Oneshots". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: AU. Warren learns the hard way that the phrase "smooth as a snake" fits Yami Bakura.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > Yu-Gi-Oh!BuffyKaibaHuntFR1511,872012319 Dec 119 Dec 11Yes
Hey there! Here’s a new AU Buffy/Yu-Gi-Oh crossover oneshot, which I cooked up one day. I was listening to the Michael Jackson song “Smooth Criminal”, and it caused me to mentally see an image of Warren Mears as he’s up against none other than Yami Bakura himself. And, as a result, this is what I came up with. Hope you like it. :)

As this is AU in Season Six, Warren never shot Buffy (and Tara accidentally, thus never incurring Willow’s wrath), and instead wanders the streets of Sunnydale. Unfortunately for him, he runs into Yami Bakura, who knows who he is and corners him in the alley...

Disclaimer: Genius Joss Whedon owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Kazuki Takahashi (also a genius) owns Yu-Gi-Oh. I own the ficlets, oneshots, crossovers, stories and poems I cook up from time to time.


Smooth as a Snake

There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea
You became the light on the dark side of me
Love remained a drug that’s the high and not the pill
But did you know
That when it snows
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the gray

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you’re like a growing addiction that I can’t deny
Won’t you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Ooh, the more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the gray

--Seal, Kiss from a Rose


One night in Sunnydale, California, it was raining and lightning flashed. Up against the wall of an alley, Warren Mears couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The white, spiky hair that angled upward like the wings of a bat. The dark brown eyes that, he had heard through the proverbial grapevine, could see into a person’s soul or aura. No wonder this person looked so familiar.

Standing across from him was none other than Yami Bakura himself. His outfit consisted of blue jeans, white-and-blue striped trainers on his feet and a blue-and-white striped shirt covered by a black trenchcoat.

But the one thing that caught Warren’s eye was the item that was attached to a brown rope and was encircling Yami Bakura’s neck. It looked to be kind of a circle, but inside the circle there was a triangle with a weird eye on it…and attached to the circle were some sharp pointy things.

Then the legend came to Warren’s mind. The legend of what was known as the Millennium Items. There were supposed to be seven of them – and they were the Puzzle, Eye, Necklace, Ring, Rod, Scale and Key. He then realized that the gold pendant around Yami Bakura’s neck was none other than... the Millennium Ring itself.

Until now, Warren had only thought of Yami Bakura as nothing more than just a myth. A person that was fictional and would often be subject to rumors and stories about him quite often – at least every now and then. But now, however, as Yami Bakura walked up to him, closing the distance between them and causing Warren to press his back against the wall of the alley, Warren had come to the realization that he never wanted to confront in the first place at all.

This was, as much as it pained him to admit it, very real.

“Tell me something, Warren, you misogynist,” growled Yami Bakura, “how long has it been since you fought someone of your own.... gender?” He smirked suggestively, and Warren’s eyes widened – but whether it was in surprise or anger, Warren wasn’t sure which.

Warren was in too much shock to answer at first. Then he managed to say,
“I – I don’t know. Maybe six or eight months. It’s been quite a while, though.”

Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow, and then shook his head, while smirking at the same time. “Infidel,” he hissed, scaring Warren even more while at the same time causing him to wonder if Yami Bakura was also a vampire (because he certainly reminded him of one with those fangs). “You will dearly pay the price for trying to destroy Buffy Summers. Not only is she the Slayer, she’s also a heroine, as well as a great friend to me. Plus, she’s a great older sister for my beautiful girlfriend Dawn. However, I’ve noticed that you just can’t see that in front of you because of your being a misogynist as well as your belief that men are better than women in anything and everything in life.”

As Yami Bakura spoke, he then growled, baring his teeth, which were sharp and smooth as the fangs of a white timber wolf. The sight of those teeth filled Warren with even more fear than was supposed to be possible. He shuddered at the thought, as well as the mental image, of those teeth buried in either his throat or one of his shoulders.

“You are wrong, Warren,” Yami Bakura then said after pausing to take a deep breath, as well as think over his next words. “It is my belief that women are not weak; on the contrary, they are strong when they want to be. Besides, whenever I look at Buffy, I see a woman who is, according to her friends Willow and Xander, ‛strong like an Amazon’. Quite the lovely phrase, now that I think about it, and it does describe her as well, since Buffy is beautiful.

“But you were blinded by your misogynist ways and were unable to see how she fights not only vampires, but also demons and other things that roam under the cover of the darkness itself. You wanted to kill her by simply shooting her with a gun – or as I prefer to call it, a ‛fire-wand’. You had a sick fascination for wanting to see her crimson life force spilled from her body and flowing in a river-like fashion,” Yami Bakura went on.

As Warren listened to the ‛Tomb Robber’ (which he had heard Yami Bakura being called so many times previously), he was in total shock. It was as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing even though his brain was working hard at processing Yami Bakura’s words.

“...crimson life force... sick fascination...”

But then, before Warren could come up with a good reply for what Yami Bakura had said, Yami Bakura then pulled him close. His skin began to glow with the blood lust that, besides being both feverish and infinite, had also defined his kind since time itself had begun quite long ago. He pressed a single fingertip to Warren’s mouth as though silencing a precocious child while opening his mouth with a reflex that was kind of dreamy in a way. Warren couldn’t help but stare at the tips of the white fangs as they made their appearance. In Warren’s mind, they reminded him of twin swords when they were pulled from their sheaths. They were sharp, gleaming and also very, very deadly – almost similar to the poison of an Eastern diamondback rattlesnake, or a black widow spider (although last Warren checked, the black widow’s venom was supposed to be at least 15 times more deadly than the rattlesnake’s poison).

In a flash Yami Bakura buried his fangs into the soft skin of Warren’s throat. The words – his thoughts – swam in and out of Warren’s consciousness.

“I am only putting an end to this heartless and painful folly....”

Yami Bakura tightened his grip on Warren’s shoulders and then clamped down as he began the draining process.

“...worthless and ruthless misogyny that must be stopped...”

For his part, Warren simply felt as though he was floating outside his body – which he was when he looked down – and simply sitting in mid-air with his legs crossed like a monk in meditation. He felt nothing except one thing and that was liberty. He was finally free from all the pain and worthlessness which he had felt all his life and was always there even when he didn’t know it.

Plus it was harsh and acute during his high school years. For the first time in his life, Warren then closed his eyes and wished the people he knew throughout his four years in high school well. He wished them all the best, even if they had taunted and teased him, and the girls had simply laughed in his face and rejected his offers to take them out on dates.

Finally, after the last drop of blood was drained, Yami Bakura relinquished his grasp on Warren’s shoulders, closed Warren’s eyes and gently let the body drop. After licking away the blood from around his mouth, he then dug a hole using his bare hands. The clumps of wet soil simply rolled off of Yami Bakura’s hands as though it was simply rainwater. He dug until he felt he had found the right length, picked up the body of Warren and placed him in the makeshift grave and then covered up the grave with the wet soil he had put aside in order to dig.

“Well,” said Yami Bakura, breaking the silence after a few minutes, “that’s the loss of one misogynist that the world can easily afford. After all, I respect women, and I’m supposed to be a tomb robber. But in no way do I think that men are better than women – not one bit.”

With a final nod, Yami Bakura then turned on his heel and left the alley.

“Now to get home – and see my beautiful girlfriend Dawn. I’m sure she’ll be glad to see me.”

Both the thought and the mental image of Dawn sitting on the doorstep and her eyes lighting up as she saw him coming were enough to help him quicken his pace a bit.

And just as he’d hoped, Dawn was waiting for him; a smile crossed her face as she looked up and saw him approaching the walkway. She got to her feet and ran to him, stopping just as she got near and finally throwing her arms around him.

“Thank goodness you’re back safe and sound, Yami Bakura,” she said, grinning.

As he hugged her back and then turned to go inside the house with her, it was then that a smile of his own crossed his face and a thought came to Yami Bakura’s mind.

Being the protector of the Summers women can be pretty tough sometimes. But in the end, it’s all been worth it.

Well, I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it. After all, Yami Bakura and Dawn Summers make such an awesome couple, and Dawn is definitely someone who can help Yami Bakura become the man he was meant to be.

Well, R&R, please. Nice feedback does help me to write more! :)

The End

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