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The Author as a Lesbian - Season 4

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This story is No. 4 in the series "The Author as a Lesbian". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Dealing with less than happy people. D/J/J, Q/Tom, Sandi/Winner

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Daria(Current Donor)DeacBlueFR181425,9630117,11610 Dec 1116 Jan 12Yes

Episode Three

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are owned by Glenn Eichler and MTV; no infringement is intended, and no money is being made. Also, close paraphrasing and some verbatim use from various episodes, again, no infringement intended.

Daria, Jane, and Jen were walking in the mall the last weekend before school when they saw Kevin and Brittany. That alone wasn't odd, but - "Oooo, Kevvy, you're such a rebel!" cooed Brittany.

"A rebel without a clue," muttered Daria. She looked up and said, "Hi, Brittany, Kevin."

"Hi, Daria!" squeaked Brittany. "Doesn't Kevvy look like a rebel in his jacket?"

"Where's his motorcycle?" Jane asked. "That is a motorcycle jacket, right?"

"Huh?" asked Kevin.

"It's a motorcycle jacket. If you had that without the motorcycle, it'd be a waste of a good cow."

Daria sighed, and turned to her fiancé. "You're right, but just imagine what he'll do if we convince him of that. A summer of tutoring, down the drain," she said, quietly. Turning back to the couple, she said, "Yes, it's even more rebellious without a cycle, and with room for your pads, Kevin. Good for you."

Kevin grinned. "Yeah!" He turned to Brittany. "See, babe?"

"I do!" smiled Brittany.



"- and we had a really wonderful night," Jodie said. "It was kinda weird - my parents treated him better than they ever treated Mack."

"Perhaps they just saw the radiance that -" Charles coughed as an elbow made its way to his ribs. "I think, to them, financial divisions are far more important than racial ones."

"I'd have to agree with you, Charles," Daria nodded.

Jane smiled. "Hell, whatever makes it easier for you to be happy, right?"

Jodie nodded. "In fact -" She was interrupted by Ms. Ruiz coming up to them.

"Feliz Navidad y próspero Año Nuevo, mis amigos," the English teacher said.

"You, too," was the general response.

"I hope you're all ready to get back into English," she said with a smile. "And I understand that you got published, Ms. Morgendorffer."

Daria blushed slightly. "It was only a local paper."

Ms. Ruiz nodded. "True. But I'm sure that you're just as aware as I am how rare even that is, to say nothing of being on the front page." Her smile widened. "Your next assignment is going to be how you could improve the article. And the secret lesson in there is going to be that, with a lot of time, you can always do it better than when you 're struggling under a deadline. But you need to make it good enough the first time."

Daria nodded. "And this may be a significant part of my career - I am going to do a double major, Journalism and Creative Writing."



They were just coming out of English when the incident happened. Sandi had seen the three girls, and as they came together, knocked Tiffany into Jen. When both girls fell to the floor, she yelled, "Fight! Fight!" until she saw Daria take a step close to her.

Jane helped Jen up, then whispered into Jen's ear before they embraced. After several seconds, they pulled apart, just in time for the school security to show up.

The officers were about to tell everyone to be on their way when Sandi pointed at Jen and cried out, "She pulled a knife!"

Jen raised her eyebrow. "But you know knives aren't allowed in school." She looked up at the officer and said, "I guess you'd better take her to see Principal DeMartino, as well as myself and Tiffany."

Daria spoke up. "Do the videos from Li's time still work?" At the officer's nod, she continued. "Then you might want to look at them."



Mr. DeMartino was finishing up a part of the never-ending paperwork that was part of the job as principal when he heard a knock at the door, "Enter," he said.

The head security officer came in and sat down. "I've got several students sitting in the outer office. There was some kind of altercation, which my guys were just going to have everybody get up and get to class from, when someone yelled, 'fight.'" He sighed. "We didn't see any wounds, so we were still going to send everyone on when a girl yelled that another girl had pulled a knife."

Mr. DeMartino ran his fingers through his hair. "Jesus wept." He looked at the officer. "Do we have a female officer on duty?" The officer nodded. "Then have her search the girl that was accused while I talk to the others."

Three minutes later, Sandi Griffin and Tiffany Blum-Deckler were sitting in front of his desk. "Well, ladies, would you like to tell me your side of what happened today,while the other girl is being searched?"

"Uh, sure," said Sandi. "We were walking to class, minding our own business, when this burnout girl comes up and attacks Tiffany. I stayed out of it until she pulled out a knife. The security guys were right there, so she didn't have a chance to hurt anyone."

"Yeaahh," said Tiffany. "What she said."

At that point, the female officer escorted Jen into the office, had her sit down, whispered into Mr. DeMartino's ear, dropped a paper on his desk, and left.

"Ms. Burns, can you tell me what happened?"

Jen looked up. "Sure. That one," and here she pointed at Tiffany, "either fell, was pushed, or deliberately got under my feet as I was leaving English with my girls. This other one yells, 'fight!' and right when Jane helped me up, she starts yelling something about a knife. The officers were right there, and brought me here."

"I see. So, two contradicting reports. Not just minorly but in major points. Does anyone want to revise their stories?" Mr. DeMartino waited a couple of minutes, and there was another knock on the door. Another "enter," and the lead officer came in and put a videotape on the desk and left. After the door closed, Mr. DeMartino took the tape and put it in a VCR. After playing a minute or two, Mr. DeMartino paused the tape. "I see that this portion, at least, favors Ms. Burns. Ms. Griffin, you are quite obviously pushing Ms. Blum-Deckler into Ms. Burns." The tape ran another few moments. "And now we see that everyone's getting up, and you're yelling something." And approximately a minute later. "Everyone's up now, but you're yelling something else."

"But what about her knife?" Sandi's low, rough voice pleaded. "Isn't it against the rules to have those out?"

"Indeed it is, Ms. Griffin. In fact, it's against the rules to have them on school property." When he saw Sandi's face relax, he continued. "The problem is that none of the officers, nor I, have seen any evidence of anything that could be a knife on these surveillance tapes. And the officer who searched Ms. Burns found nothing." He brought his hands together in front of him. "In fact, everything supports Ms. Burn's version of events, and nothing supports yours. Do you have anything to say, Ms. Griffin?"

"Why are you listening to someone so unpopular like her?"

Mr. DeMartino sat for a moment, looking at Sandi, then leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily. When the chuckles had subsided, he leaned forward again, and looked straight at Sandi. "Ms. Griffin, I laughed for two reasons. The first is, we do not weigh testimony on how popular someone is. The second is, at this point in time, Ms. Burns is likely more popular than you. Since you appear to have instigated this incident, and attempted to defame your fellow classmates, three days suspension. Ms. Blum-Deckler, for supporting your friend's obviously false report, one day of suspension. You may return to class, Ms. Burns."



"- And Sandi had on her little 'pissed' face, but there was nothing that she could do," Jen said as they all laid on the couch. "By the way, thanks, Jane. If you hadn't taken my knife, I don't know if it would have turned out so well."

"Not a problem, baby. If worse came to worst, I could have dropped it somewhere in the Art room before they came for me."

"Speaking of coming for us," Daria said from Jen's other side, "the applications for Ashfield came in today." She looked at Jane. "You and I need to get our bodies of work together, and," she smiled and kissed Jen's cheek," we're going to have to figure out how we'll be able to do without this one while she's off being a rock star."



Mrs. Rowe sat down at the table with Stacy. "Honey, these grades are wonderful! You should be able to get into almost any college you want!"

Stacy's face fell just a bit. "But Mom, I really want to be one of the top makeup people. In fashion, or in the movies, I don't know."

Mrs. Rowe turned and looked at her daughter. "That's a bit vague, hon. Why don't we do this? We'll plan for you to go to college, until you research exactly what you need to get you where you want to go. Then we'll work toward that." She kissed Stacy on the forehead. "We want you to be happy, and want to help you be happy. But you need to have a good idea of where you're going, first."

"All right, Mom," Stacy said, then hugged her. "I'm going over to Quinn's, okay?"



Helen walked in the door to see her husband working at the kitchen table. "Jake," she asked, "what are you up to?"

Jake looked up at her with a smile. "I was just looking at the numbers that G-town gave us. At the rate we're going, they'll be through the advance before the band releases the second CD this spring." He hugged her. "Looks like they'll be a success."

Helen hugged him back. "And that makes it more likely it'll be a multi-regional tour this summer. I hope the girls can stand it."
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