Disclaimer : Buffy and company belongs to Mutant Enemy and other people not me. Nathan Rahl belongs to the Sword of Truth series and Terry Goodkind. Yeah and Spider-Man belongs to Marvel (just liked the quote)
Sorry small plot bunny I had to kill, unbetaed all mistakes are mine.
"Who am I? Are you sure you want to know? The story of my life isn't for the faint of heart. If somebofy told you I was just an average ordinary guy, no cares in the world. Somebody lied, but let me assure you the tale, like any worth telling is about a girl."
Peter Parker, Spider-Man
I sometime think that my life truly started the moment I learned the truth about her. That everything that preseded that point was just... filler like jobber fights before the main event in wrestling. I mean she brought meaning into my life, focus and light all things that I lacked before. At first I thought I was fighting for her, her approval her... acceptance. The I realized I had all those things, yes she loved me like a friend but that was enough for me, it was then that I realized just who I was fighting for, Jesse and all the people waiting at home for someone who wasn't coming back.
You know I never appreciated being normal, I'm sure that's where most of my hatred for Angel came from, I was jealous of his power. I mean he had everything (or so I thought) all he had to do was walk into a room and Buffy was all over him, I wanted that, I wanted to be able to go toe to toe with the forces of hell. I didn't understand the burdon power puts on you, I think I understand why Buffy hates being the slayer, it hurts to fail when you know you shouldn't have.
I know I'm jumping around here, but I'm nervous. I don't know how he dealt with these glimpses of the future, it's slowly driving me mad, then again he had almost 1000 years to live with them. I wish he was here to talk to, it seems all I see is death and destruction. They hurt so much sometimes I think I'll die, 'hatred is the calm of prophets'. He would understand what I mean.
It's times like this that I can feel him the most, I think he did something to strengthen his presence here. Not to dominate, but to leave his gift, his mind for me to use. I HATE HIM FOR IT, I love him for it. Will's said he told here that he knew he was coming here, makes me wonder just what exactly he knew. It's why I hate him for leaving me this curse, why I love him for this gift. I shudder to think of the how things would have went without this.
I hope that by talking to them I can change the future, stop the attrocites. I mean he used to do it all the time, locked away like a china doll. Can you imagine that being held captive all your life, denied access to most of you power. Living lifetimes held against your will, of course they couldn't deny him his powerful weapon... his intellect.
It's because of his intellect, his cunning that I came up with this plan. To think what would have happenned had I dressed as say a soldier. I owe Nathan Rahl my life, now I just have to walk into the library and talk to them. After all I did ask Jenny and Angel to meet me here.