HiltonK; Buffy/NCIS [Xander/Ziva]Disclaimer:
Don’t own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or NCIS~~~~~
“Dawn Marie Summers, if you don’t haul your skinny ass out here right now, I’m going to call you in as kidnapped then you’ll really have hell to deal with!”
Tony looked around to see a dark-haired man stalking onto their crime scene, looking around for their newest liaison. He walked forward to meet the stranger. “I’m sorry, but you can’t be here: this is a crime scene, and you’re contaminating it.”
Tony almost wished he hadn’t drawn the guy’s attention, because he had a glare on him a bit like Gibbs’. The stranger dropped his hand to his hip, and, to Tony’s relief, pulled his ID wallet.
“I’m with the IGC, and Dawn has missed her check-in call. It is imperative that I see her immediately…” The stranger’s head swivelled to focus on the irate brunette stalking forward, and all of a sudden, Tony could see the resemblance.
“God, Xander, anyone would think it was the end of the world,” Dawn complained. “And how did you find me anyway?” she demanded.
Xander flashed a brilliant grin. “How do you think? Andrew hacked your cell. And you, missy, are in serious trouble: you missed your ‘I’m not kidnapped’ check-in.”
“Please,” Dawn snorted, “I’m not due till eight o’clock.”
“Check your watch, Dawnie,” Xander smirked, “that’s eight London
“Crap,” Dawn muttered, pulling out her cell and wandering off to make her call.
“So,” Tony began casually, “you seriously have ‘not kidnapped’ check-ins?”
“Some of us, sure,” Xander nodded. “Dawn’s is weekly, Giles’ and mine are monthly. Oddly enough,” he mused, “Andrew has never been kidnapped, so he doesn’t have to check-in. Besides, we’ve got most of the wanna-bes trained not to go for our people.”
Tony grinned. “How do you train the enemy not to kidnap your people?”
Xander’s smile changed, suddenly, to something reminiscent of a shark. “Toes first, then fingers,” he nodded. “It goes from there, but you probably don’t want specifics.”
“So, what,” Tony frowned, “you also know the hundred-one ways to kill with a stapler?”
Xander considered the question. “Well, I don’t really have much need to use office stationery,” he mused, “though … if you straighten out a paperclip at the first bend, you can use it to poke someone in the eye. Not fatal, but definitely distracting, which might be all you need. If you need fatal, you’d have to go for a major artery at a point where the skin is quite thin.”
Ziva smiled. “I like him,” she nodded enthusiastically.