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Drunken Toasts to New Lives

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This story is No. 16 in the series "Wishlist 2011". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy makes a toast, and, all of a sudden, their lives change. Now Xander is in Lima with Giles...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > GleeMissEFR1511,1051113,77416 Dec 1116 Dec 11Yes
Prompt/Prompter: LJ user: mrscake_akajane; Buffy/Glee [Xander Harris/Kurt Hummel]

Notes: If you read between the lines, Xander doesn’t turn out like the Xander we all know and love. This affects the way I wrote him, because, in all honesty, he couldn’t be exactly the same. I tried to retain some characteristics, because I think some things wouldn’t change, but still… Also, if you squint, it's pre-slash.

Disclaimer: Don’t own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Glee


Xander was sure that he wanted to find that wish demon, but whether he wanted to thank it or smack it across the back of the head varied from hour to hour. Of course, it hadn’t helped that Buffy had been roaring drunk when she made her wish, and it being Christmas had made her maudlin, so her wish had been that Giles had had a family, complete with partner, male or female, she didn’t care. The fact that Xander had been the first to salute that wish had sealed his fate, and here he was, sitting down to breakfast on his first day at a new school (dear God in Heaven, he was back in school!) with his Dad (Giles) and his Da, Ethan. That’s right: Giles’ one true love was Ethan bloody Rayne. His Da.


“All I’m saying is at least it isn’t a Citroen,” Xander shrugged.

“The Citroen is a classic,” Rupert argued.

“No,” Xander returned, “the E-type Jag is a classic. The Citroen is a little, slow French car, and in no way a classic.”

“I’m afraid I have to agree with Xander here,” Ethan chimed in.

“Finally!” Xander breathed.

“After all, how can you, an Englishman, drive a French car, I have no idea,” Ethan went on, twinkling eyes discretely downcast, though he couldn’t hide his grin.

“At least Da gets it,” Xander smirked.

Rupert eyed his son sceptically. “Regardless its classification, it is your ride to school, so hop it.” He watched the once-again teen dash off to grab his back, and turned back to his husband. They all had memories of their past lives, but they were slowly fading, and he wasn’t sure that was such a bad idea.

Certainly Xander hadn’t been happy with being de-aged so much, but the grumbling had died away and he was now viewing this as a second chance. It helped that he had memories of growing up with loving, if unconventional, parents, and a much better educational background. He wasn’t sure, though, if he should mourn the loss of his Californian accent, or celebrate his shiny new English accent. Choices, choices.


Kurt was walking back from the bathroom when he noticed a stranger gazing at a piece of paper, looking lost. “Can I help?” he asked, walking up to the other teen.

The teen looked up, and gave a dazzling smile. “Oh, hi. I’m kind of lost,” he admitted. “I’m supposed to be in Sophomore Spanish, but I think I got turned around somewhere.”

Kurt smiled back, firmly stomped on his urge to gush at the handsome young man. “Well, I’m supposed to be in Spanish now, too,” he offered, “but I just had to get cleaned up. I’m Kurt, by the way,” he added, holding out his hand.”

“Oh, where are my manners?” the other teen blushed. “I’m Xander, and I’m new, in case you hadn’t guessed.”

“I would never have guessed,” Kurt shot back, smirking, “you sound like you were born and raised here in Lima.”

“So what do you do for fun around here?” Xander asked as they walked to class. “Please, God, do not tell me football: I’ve already been disappointed on that score.”

“You don’t like football?” Kurt asked, grinning hopefully.

“Oh, I love football,” Xander shook his head. “What you lot play, though, isn’t even Celtic Football. It’s some travesty that should get you lot all taken out and shot.” He frowned. “And I probably shouldn’t say that out loud here, should I?”

Kurt closed the mouth that had dropped open in shock. He shook his head. “No, you really shouldn’t.” He opened the classroom door. “Here we are,” he added, redundantly.


“So what do you do for fun around here?” Xander repeated as they sat down to lunch.

“Well, I am in Glee club,” Kurt offered. “There’s other clubs on offer, or sports teams, cheerleading. There’s football, of course; American football. I guess you were talking about soccer?” he added thoughtfully.

Real football,” Xander corrected, grinning.

“Yes, well, the football team are pretty well all bigger than you are, and aren’t afraid of letting you know they’re not happy with you,” Kurt sniffed. “The hockey team, too. Pretty well all the jocks,” he considered. “As it is, just having lunch with me will put you on their shit list. Sorry,” he grimaced.

Xander frowned. “I don’t like bullies. Never have, never will. If those wankers have an issue with me, or who I choose to associate with, they might just have a surprise coming,” he smirked.

“There’s a lot of them,” Kurt warned.

Xander shrugged. “Usually there’s just one or two ring leaders; take them out and the rest will fall into line.”

Kurt eyed him doubtfully. “You’re used to dealing with bullies?”

“I’ve met one or two before,” Xander smiled. “It happens when your dads are gay.”

Kurt’s eyes went wide. “You have two dads, two?” he asked, a grin forming on his lips. “Oh, Gaga, Rachel is going to be pissed. She’s no longer ‘special’,” he smirked.

Xander chuckled. “She had two dads, too?”

“Yep. They impregnated a surrogate to have her,” Kurt added.

“Ah, well then she’s still special,” Xander nodded genially. “Dad had me the old-fashioned way. Brief affair with a woman he knew before getting involved with Da. She didn’t want me at all, so she signed over all parental rights. She’s a lawyer somewhere,” he shrugged. “So I’m guessing this Rachel isn’t your girlfriend?”

Kurt had never snorted coffee before, and never wished to again; it was decidedly painful. “Dear Gaga, no!” he uttered with deep revulsion. “She’s my competition, in more ways than one. I, ah, I’m gay,” he added.

Xander grinned. “Cool: I’ve got a chance, then.”

“You’re gay, too?” Kurt asked, smiling.

“Bi,” Xander nodded. “I’ve had both a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I like both. Technically, Dad and Da are both Bi as well, since they do like both men and women, but they’ve been together so long that they are just generally considered gay.”

“Are you out?” Kurt asked, puzzled.

“Yep,” Xander nodded. “Do you want me to prove it?” he leered.

Kurt blushed faintly. “That won’t be necessary.” He smiled. Another gay (well, bi, but near enough) guy in the school wouldn’t necessarily make life easier, but it might make it more interesting.


Notes: Well, I can’t do the prompt justice in under 1,500 words, so I’m going to have to come back to this later, and do a 10,000 word fic. Now that will be fun.

The End

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