Bad Author Notes:
Just to make this clear this chapter is set in the summer of 1999 just in case you didn’t know that Muppets from Space! came out that summer.
“Come on it will be fun! Teal’c’s going,” Jack flipped the steaks on the grill.
“No, Jack,” Daniel leaned against the rail of the porch drinking his beer.”
“It’s one afternoon, Daniel. Just one and then you can go back to your rocks,” Jack said.
“They’re artifacts, Jack,” Daniel said with a sigh. “And no I don’t want to go to the movies with you.”
“It’s Muppets from Space!” Jack exclaimed. “How could you not want to go?”
“Don’t you find them a tad juvenile? I’m mean they’re puppets,” Daniel replied.
“Bite your tongue! The Muppets are climatic masterpiece full of culture and wholesomeness,” Jack replied with a slight smirk.
“A closet Sam the Eagle fan, Jack?” Hammond said as from his chair as he watched Carter and Teal’c play a round of badminton.
“Only enough to remember to pull the stick out of my rear before it becomes permanent,” Jack replied. “When someone says something is right because it’s the American way, I realize that there’s probably a better way.”
“Kinsey,” Daniel chimed in.
“He’s Sam’s evil twin brother who has a bigger stick shoved so far up his rear you can see it when he talks,” Jack explained.
Hammond chuckled. “If Kinsey is Sam’s evil twin, who am I and everyone else.”
“Well… Daniel here would have to be Scooter. He has the same devious innocence,” Jack explained.
“I’m not devious!” Daniel exclaimed.
Hammond and Jack looked at Daniel for a moment before Daniel shrugged his shoulders and says, “Well I’m not that devious.”
“Who’s next?” Hammond asked. “Major Carter?”
“She’s a mix of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker with just a touch of Miss Piggy for those situations in which she has to kick ass,” Jack said after a moment of though. “Teal’c would be Rowlf the Dog.”
“Why him?” Daniel asked.
“Same sense of humor. Same down to Earth but not give up attitude. Which reminds me you could be Link Hogthrob,” Jack pointed the tongs at Daniel.
“The Captain in Pigs in Space. Their version of Captain Kirk. A girl in every port or should I say on every planet,” Jack said with a chuckle.
“Oh and who would you be, Jack?” Daniel growled playfully.
“The best character of them all,” Jack said with a smile. “The Swedish Chef.”
“What’s going on?” Carter asked as she and Teal’c stopped their game to see what the problem was.
“The good Colonel here was telling us which Muppet character we’re most like. Hammond explained. “He says you, Major Carter are most likely the love child of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker and Miss Piggy. And Teal’c is Rowlf the Dog; the Muppet that played the piano.”
Carter turned to the Jack with narrowed eyes. “And who exactly is the Colonel?” she asked in a sweet voice? “Kermit?”
“No. That’s the General,” Jack said with a smile. “Ring leader of all the insanity. I’m the Swedish Chef.”
Carter looked at Jack with a confused looked.
“And Dr Jackson is?” Teal’c asked.
“The love child of Scooter and Link Hogthrob, the Captain Kirk of Pigs in Space,” Hammond chuckled.
“Indeed,” Teal’c said with a slight nod of his head. “However I must disagree with the Colonel assentment of himself. I see the Colonel more as the offspring of the Swedish Chef, Crazy Harry and the character know as Animal. A true child of chaos and destruction.”
Jack looked at Teal’c before wiping his eyes. “Ah Teal’c, you say the nicest things.”
The corners of Teal’c mouth curved up slightly.
“Anyone wants another beer,” Jack asked after finishing off the one he had.
“I do,” Daniel said.
“Good,” Jack held out the tongs towards Daniel. “I’ll get the beer and you watch the food.”
“You just want to blame any burnt food on me,” Daniel grabbed the tongs.
“Would I do something like that?” Jack asked innocently.
“Yes!” everyone answered at once.
“Boy, you can sure feel the love,” Jack said with a chuckle.
“Just go get the beer, Jack,” Daniel rolled his eyes at this friend.
Still chuckling Jack walked into the kitchen and over to the refrigerator where he pulled out a number of bottles of Budweiser and placed them on the counter. As he was shutting the refrigerator door the phone rang.
Jack sighed in frustration as he grabbed the phone. “Hello?”
“Good afternoon, sir,” a bored male voice answered from the phone. “I’m Steve Jones calling for the Simkins Collection Agency. Can I please speak with Henry O’Neill?”
“No one lives here by that name?” Jack answered in the same bored tone his caller was using.
“Are you sure about that, sir?” the caller asked.
Jack gave the phone an unusual look. “Yeah I’m pretty sure I know who lives at my home.”
“Do you know how we can get a hold of Henry O’Neill?” the caller asked
“Never heard of the person before,” Jack told him
“Sir is this,” the caller rattled off a phone number.
“Yeah, that’s my number,” Jack replied with a bored and frustrated sigh.
“Sir, do you know that hiding people from a collection agency is a crime and if you don’t put Henry O’Neill on the phone we will have to involve the police,” the caller threatened.
“Kid,” Jack’s tone of voice became dark and threatening, “I’m a Colonel in the United States Air Force and I can very easily track down your place of employment, your home address and that of your loved ones and pay
them a visit. Now do we really want that?”
“Ahhh, no sir,” the caller answered meekly
“Good,” Jack growled. “Then I suggest that you update Henry O’Neill’s record and list this number as being incorrect and not to call back. And if someone does call back from the Simkins Collection Agency, I’ll remember you, Steve Jones. Good day.”
A meek ‘Good day’ could be here from the phone as Jack hung up.
“I hate collection agencies,” Jack grumbled to himself a he gathered the beer bottles up.
It was at that moment there was a knock at the door. “Oh, for cryin’ out loud,” Jack exclaimed as he set the bottles back on the counter.
As Jack quickly made his way over to the front door, the person on the other side knocked again. “What!” he growled as he yanked the door open only to suddenly freeze at the sight of the person who had been knocking.
“From your expression, I take it that you remember me,” a young man with brown hair and eyes commented
Jack nodded his head. “Xander, right? That’s what ghost girl and cat woman called you.”
The young man nodded his head. “Xander Harris,” he held out his hand.
“Jack O’Neill,” Jack shook the young man’s hand. “So I take it you remember stuff?”
“Hey Jack, what’s taking so long,” Daniel suddenly appeared behind Jack. “Ummm… hi.” Daniel said as he noticed the young man in the doorway.
“Hi,” Xander said as he gave Daniel a small wave of his hand.
“Ummm… I didn’t realize that someone was at the door,” Daniel said.
Jack ran his hand through his greying hair. “Daniel this is Xander an old friend of mine.”
“Jack was more like a mentor to me,” Xander explained. “Since I was in town I figured I would pop by and say hi.”
“Oh well… ummm…. We’re having a barbeque right now. There’s plenty of food if you want to join us,” Daniel offered.
Xander shook his head. “No but thanks anyway.” He turned his attention back to Jack. “So I’m in town for a couple days. On the great American post grad trip… so if you want to talk…”
Jack nodded his head. “Where you staying?”
“Someplace cheap,” Xander answered. “Know of any place?”
“The Sleep Inn near the Academy,” Jack answered. “It’s clean, decent and cheap. A lot of parents of cadets stay there when they come for a visit. It’s not a five star place but…”
“I’ve slept in worse places. Namely my parent’s house. Thanks,” Xander said with a nod of his head before turning and walking away.
“I’ll leave a message there when we can get together,” Jack called out to the retreating figure.
“Right,” Xander answered with a wave of his hand.
“You never mentioned him before,” Daniel said as Jack shut the door.
“Yeah… well… I never really expected to see him again,” Jack said softly.
“So how did you meet?” Daniel asked.
“I kind of met him a couple Halloween ago,” Jack said as he started towards the kitchen and his friends.
Before anyone starts to complain about how there should be more the whole point of this story was the effect of the spell had on someone who had their consciousness ripped from them and placed in somebody in Sunnydale and how that affects everyone else around them.
There may be a sequel someday. There may not be. It’s up to my Muse to decide. If you want to play in this universe please let me know first.