Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Tremors characters are the property of their original owners.
Painfully rising to his feet up out of the minor crater in the ground caused by his plummeting body, Spike made a very obscene gesture in the direction of the small plane flying away several hundred feet above in the night sky. The vampire continued to glare after this aircraft until it faded from both sight and hearing into the darkness, finally grumbling out loud, “Just my luck, I had to pick the most paranoid pilot in the whole bleedin’ LA area! Anyone else finding me under the blanket in the back seat would’ve wanted to know why I was there in the first place, instead of promptly throwing that machine around like nobody’s business until I went out the door.”
As he started brushing off his clothes, Spike continued to moodily complain to his most favorite audience in the world; i.e., a dashing undead English demon. “Here’s hoping my luck changes for the better. It couldn’t get soddin’ worse, not when I got chased out of town by those bloody coppers who didn’t even know what I was! The nerve of them, getting all fired up by a murder or two and thinking I was just some kinky killer draining the blood from his victims! Me, I had my suspicions about that stone-faced bloke, who’s got to be part golem, at the very least. His partner was pure human, though.”
Finally looking around in the dim moonlight, Spike groaned under his breath (taken specifically for this very purpose). He’d been in that plane long enough for him to get well out of the Los Angeles city limits. The vampire wasn’t sure exactly where he’d landed, but his surroundings were most decidedly not anywhere near that large, smoggy municipality during the late 1950’s. Spike unhappily eyed the desert valley terrain as far as he could see ahead in the gloom, with all its tiresome thorny vegetation, rock-strewn ground, and most importantly, not a sign of any kind of human inhabitation at all.
Turning slowly in a circle, the vampire found nothing but more of the same bloody wilderness. However, in one direction, there was a steep range of tall hills or short mountains. Shrugging, Spike decided to head in that direction, if only because climbing up there would allow him to see further and maybe spot some sort of distant town, where he could snack upon somebody. Plus, as the demon started walking to his chosen destination, Spike reminded himself there was the likelihood of finding there a cave or other dark crevice where he could hide against the sun rising in a few hours. It was true, if necessary, that Spike could simply dig a hole in the ground, jump in there, pull the shielding dirt completely over himself, and then wait for the next sunset. But this was so bloody undignified.
A very boring hour later, Spike idly caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. Glancing over there, he saw about a mile or so away a small dust cloud hanging in the air a few feet above the ground. Stopping short in surprise, the vampire looked harder at this, but he couldn’t see anything which might’ve caused this: a car driving by, someone running there, or an animal spooked by hearing an off-key Cockney voice loudly singing “The Bastard King of England.”
While he was contemplating this, another dust cloud abruptly puffed into existence, now only about a half-mile away. To Spike’s sudden concern, this patch of haze was aimed directly at him! Yet, he still
couldn’t see anything! It wasn’t even the wind, since the air was completely calm all around! Nervously backing up a few steps, Spike frantically listened with his superhuman hearing, only to catch an odd kind of noise coming from the region of his feet which seemed to resemble a low rushing or continuous scratching sound, as if something was steadily digging--Another
puff of dust appeared about a hundred yards away, and this time Spike saw the ground directly under the dirt cloud rise and ripple right towards him! It was like the ground was water and some kind of, of thing
was swimming under there while leaving a sort of solid wake behind--
Sensibly deciding it was far past time to get the hell out of there, Spike whirled around, and he dashed off at his full vampiric speed. Anxiously glancing over his shoulder, this demon soon realized with total horror that whatever was now chasing him had also put on a burst of extra velocity, and it was holding its own during the pursuit. Still only a few hundred feet in front of the what-is-it, Spike twisted his head back around, just in time to change his headlong dash into a hasty leap over the cactus patch he’d nearly stumbled into. Landing just past the last spiny plant, Spike kept on running, with a quick thought making him glance behind.
Back there, numerous cacti were being lifted and hurled into the air as if they were leaves by the burrowing thing which was after Spike. Shaken by what he’d seen, the sprinting vampire concentrated on looking ahead for any place to take shelter, only to instantly feel a stab of absolute terror inside his mind. About a mile or so further on, there were now two
dust clouds! If the thing behind him could be located at the six o’clock position, then the other unknown entities in front were at the ten and two o’clock positions, respectively. Beginning to mentally gibber as he kept on running, Spike despairingly realized he couldn’t swerve to either side in attempting to escape being trapped, since the things ahead could easily cut him off, no matter which way he went. But if he didn’t do anything, in less than a minute, he’d be caught--
Skidding to a stop of the desert floor, Spike again spun around, and then he started running at full speed back the way he’d come, directly at his hidden pursuer. His face grimly set, Spike actually had a method in his madness, given what he’d done just a few seconds ago. That thing coming towards him was underground, no question about it, but Spike didn’t have to let it grab him from underneath or fall onto it. Not when his legs had the supernatural power to make tremendous leaps, just like effortlessly jumping over the thirty-foot-wide cactus patch mere instants before.
A reckless snarl on his lips, Spike continued to race towards the disturbed ground rushing to meet him. At the very last moment, the vampire let his body crouch, and right after, every ounce of energy he could manage went into the most powerful bound forward he’d ever attempted. Soaring high up the desert floor, Spike exultantly looked ahead to where he was going to land, far behind the thing which was after him. By the time this mysterious beast turned around to continue with its bleedin’ friends their chase after the vampire, he’d be well away--
Under the ascending demon, the ground erupted, and a massive column of flesh rose vertically to seize its escaping prey. What would decades later be called a ‘Graboid’ now used its mouth tentacles to snatch Spike right out of the air, and then this astonished demon was promptly stuffed into the subterranean creature’s fanged maw. Letting itself collapse back onto the ground, which shook under the impact of the giant worm’s tremendous weight, this unique beast started to taste its latest kill.
Spike was still conscious and just beginning to realize his fate, as the massive rings of muscle surrounding his body started to tightly clench, with the inner teeth biting deeply into the vampire’s form, ripping and tearing through his clothes.
Except, in the very next instant, the undead Englishman was flying through the air once more, only this time in an uncontrolled tumble that ended in an awkward sprawl upon the rocky ground. Groaning at his numerous aches and pains, Spike shakily sat up, to then regard with disgusted stupefaction how slimy his entire body was after being--
Cringing from those bizarre noises just a few feet away, Spike turned his head to look right down the fully-open throat of a convulsing monster which had just tried to eat a vampire, and had also immediately learned why this was truly a bad idea.
It all had to do with what a certain blonde Slayer would determinedly overlook a number of years hence. Namely, every single vampire, whether they had a soul or not, was in truth a walking corpse. The magic used by demons to take over the deceased body of their victim would ensure this now-undead flesh wouldn’t ever decompose or putrefy. At least in a manner noticeable to the senses of humans and the usual other animals which any vampire would normally encounter.
A Graboid wasn’t something which could be classified in any way as ‘normal’, and these creatures living beneath the ground also possessed senses which weren’t at all ordinary. The meat-eating giant worms could and would consume carrion, but there were limits to what even their stomachs could tolerate. The sudden comprehension that it’d just swallowed a meal consisting of food which had been rotting for over eighty years had lead to the Graboid instantly getting rid of tonight’s nauseating tidbit.
Staggering to his feet, Spike gawked at the very unhappy Graboid declaring its misery to the whole world. Hearing a faint rumble from behind, the vampire hastily glanced over his shoulder, to see there two large dust clouds indicating where the other pair of underground monsters had heard their comrade’s distress. At once linking these sounds of suffering to their latest unconsumed prey, the rest of the hunting pack chose a quick withdrawal into the opposite direction, rather than eat something so vile.
Turning back to disbelievingly regard the creature that’d almost devoured Spike, this vampire now heard one last “GLAAHK!” of pure revulsion. Right afterwards, the big worm or snake or whatever put down its eyeless head and it effortlessly tunneled into the ground. Hopefully, to soon find something a lot less noxious than the sickening entity standing nearby.
A few seconds later, Spike was alone in the desert. Anyone else who’d somehow been there through all this would’ve then prudently made themselves scarce at seeing the growing look of offended fury upon this demon’s countenance. Swiftly bending down to snatch at a rock, Spike straightened up, and then he wrathfully hurled this stone with all his might at the heap of disturbed soil which marked the spot where the weirdest creature he’d met during his entire unlife had just made absolutely clear their opinion about William the Bloody’s edibility.
Beginning an indignant tirade which would last a good half-hour, Spike started off by bellowing, “ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT?! WELL, LET ME TELL YOU--”