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Empress Buffy, World Conqueror

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Summary: YAHF. But this one is a bit different from most because of who the Scoobies dress up as.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Buffy-CenteredGreywizardFR1837,34315718,68024 Dec 117 Dec 12No

Chapter Two

The Summers residence

October 31, 1997


"Hey, Xander, what's – whoa! You're looking way creepy, a-a-and real sinister," a wide-eyed 11-year-old Dawn Summers exclaimed, as she opened the door and stared in shock at the rather disquieting appearance of the boy who was the current object of her affections.

The co-founding Scooby's jet-black hair was combed straight back and gelled into an unmoving coif (much like that of Buffy's own current would-be romantic interest whom she had seen hanging around outside the house one or two times, Dawn noted absently to herself), and his skin had been painted a stark chalk-white color, with a blood-red diamond apparently embedded in the center of his forehead. There was even a fake black mustache and Van Dyke beard framing his mouth.

The teen's usual outfit of loose-fitting tee shirt and cargoes had been replaced by a form-fitting black bodysuit glistening as though from metallic highlights, a red belt, and a second, much larger blood-red diamond centered prominently on his clearly well-muscled chest, while strips of a red-lined black material arched upwards and backwards from his shoulders to form a sort of fringed, feathered cloak behind and around him.

"Thanks, Dawny Girl, that's exactly the kind of reaction I was hoping for," the grim, unsmiling figure before her abruptly shifted and the previously severe and forbidding face broke into a wide smirk as he reached out and ruffled her hair.

"Xander! I've told you before – stop doing that!" the younger Summers sister declared irately as she frowned and slapped at his hand. "I'm not a little kid, anymore, you know!"

"No, you most certainly are not, Dawnie," Xander immediately agreed, a remorseful expression now appearing on his face.

"You are quite clearly the younger and, quite obviously, even more radiantly beautiful daughter of an influential and well-to-do family, who has obviously been oppressed and ill-treated by her justifiably jealous older sister," Xander continued his clearly over-the-top oratory, noting the pleased look that took possession of the pre-teen's face as he spoke.

"Well, if that's true, then to stay in character, I'm going to have to arrange for her to be taken out into the woods and have a huntsman cut her heart out, or do something else along those lines," Buffy observed with a superior smile as she regally made her way down the stairs. The Slayer’s close-fitting, ankle-length black gown and black hair, black horned headdress and black, purple-lined cloak contrasted vividly with her now pale-blue complexion, causing Xander to release a loud whistle of appreciation.

"Yeah, you just wish you could," Dawn retorted, as she turned around and stuck her tongue out at her big sister.

"I told Mom when she and Dad brought you home from the hospital, I'd much rather have gotten a puppy," Buffy rolled her eyes and unleashed a theatrical sigh at her younger sibling's antics. "They're so much easier to house train."

"Well, it's good to see that you're *finally* dressing up appropriately for Halloween," Dawn snapped back at her older sister, clearly annoyed at the jab. "'Cause I've been telling Mom for years that you're a witch!"

"If I really were a witch, Dawnie, you'd have been turned into a toad a long time ago," Buffy riposted with a smug smile, gesturing casually in her sister's direction with the short, green orb-tipped staff she held in her left hand .

"Ladies, ladies, let's not have any dull, pedestrian squabbling of the sibling rivalry variety, please," Xander interjected, smiling and holding up his hands between the girls as though to restrain the sisters from coming to physical blows. "Remember – we have a holiday to celebrate, and we have not yet acquired the far-more-than-our-fair share of candies and other sugar-enhanced goodies that we are entitled to – so, please, let's focus on what's important, shall we?"

"Yeah, you're right about that, Xand," Buffy conceded with the hint of a smile and a regal nod of her head. "The sooner we get this stupid escort duty thing over with, the sooner we can kick back and relax."

"Are you guys – oh my God, Xander! Are you really dressing up as HIM?" Willow's shocked and dismayed exclamation interrupted the proceedings as Buffy, Xander and Dawn all turned to look up at the wide-eyed redhead as she halted in stunned surprise halfway down the stairs.

"Hey there, Wills," Xander smiled at his best friend, taking in her appearance with a nod of approval. "Gotta say, you're looking mighty impressive, there! This is like a thousand times better than the usual ghost costume dealie.

"Heck, if I didn't know that the real Big Barda was seven feet tall, I'd definitely be thinking you're the real McCoy, showing up to lead the forces of Apokolips in Darkseid's invasion of Earth!" Xander complimented his childhood friend as Willow finished her interrupted trek down the stairs.

"Apokolips? Darkseid?" Dawn asked in confusion. "And who’s Big Barda again?"

"A Female Fury who managed to fight Wonder Woman herself to a draw," Xander nodded and smiled.

"I gotta agree with Xander, Will – you do rate pretty high on the impressive scale," Buffy concurred, giving her best female friend an approving smile as she also gave the redhead a last-minute inspection. "Very warrior-y and everything," she noted.

"Yeah, Willow," even Dawn agreed with a nod of her head. "You make a great-looking, ass-kicking, superpowered villainess!

"And if anyone doesn't agree, you should just punch their face in," the brunette recommended with a wide smile, as Dawn mentally visualized the redhead doing exactly that.

Indeed, the dark blue formfitting bodysuit and knee-high black boots the Scoobies' resident computer hacker were currently wearing immediately presented the viewer with the impression that Willow was wearing some sort of body armor, while the golden chain mail shirt layered over the bodysuit and cinched with a wide blood-red belt merely emphasized that notion.

When one added in the golden open-faced, winged helmet covering the black-haired wig Willow was wearing, the blood-red cloak draped over her shoulders and the two-foot long, mace-like rod Willow was holding in her right hand – well, the overall effect of her costume did, indeed, convey the idea that the normally shy and reticent redhead was a warrior fit to battle the hordes of Hell.

"So, who're you supposed to be, Xand?" Buffy asked as she tuned her attention back to the sole male Scooby present.

"My comic-fu is nowhere near as good as yours, so I can't say I recognize who you’re supposed to be," the petite ‘evil fairy’ admitted with a minor shrug.

"He dressed up as Mister Sinister, Buffy," Willow hastened to explain, throwing her oldest friend another disapproving look as she did so.

"From Marvel Comics. He's a character who was an extremely evil and twisted genius supervillain created by Chris Claremont back in the 1970's, in order to fight against the X-Men," the redhead elaborated further, displaying a rather impressive knowledge of comic book history; even if Buffy still looked as if she had no clue who Xander’s character was.

"Mister Sinister let another supervillain called Apocalypse mutate his body to give him a whole bunch of superpowers, in exchange for agreeing to work for him making an army of superpowered mutant soldiers for the first Big Bad. Trust me; you don’t want to know how Mister Sinister had his minions kidnap both mutants and normal people to perform all sorts of evil experiments on them, so that he could see what kind of monsters he could change them into, for Apocalypse!" Willow explained with righteous indignation.

""Yeah, Sinister was most definitely a bad guy, Will," Xander agreed as he grinned at the outraged redhead currently glaring at him. "But there was always a method to his madness; for example, that guy didn’t kill off the Genosha mutates like he did with all the Morlocks, even though he could have. And I gotta admit – if I’d been the one doing those experiments you just mentioned, Will, I’d have been more interested in turning all the women into hot-looking babes that would obey my every command. Not to mention, turning myself into the ultimate desirable super-stud..."

"Really?" Dawn asked her crush with wide, startled eyes.

"Xander!" Willow and Buffy both shouted and glared at the member of the Y-chromosome club, even as the Slayer covered up her little sister’s ears.

"What? That was supposed to be the whole point of choosing these sorts of costumes, wasn't it?" Harris asked reasonably. "We decided to dress up as Big Bads, and that's exactly who we are for tonight."

"Yeah, but you don’t have to, like, bury yourself in the part, mister!" Willow said hotly, suddenly wondering what it was she saw in the big goof.

"Relax, Will," Buffy suggested as she laid a hand on her friend's armored shoulder, while tossing Xander another look warning him that he should watch what he said in front of her sister. And her and Willow, too. "I'm an evil fairy queen, Xand's an evil genius supervillain, and you're an evil super warrior princess, so let's just kick back and enjoy our super-badness for the night, okay?"

"Oh, by the way, Buff," Xander grinned as he handed the costumed Slayer a small sheaf of papers he pulled from a pouch on his belt, "I took the liberty of printing out the Evil Empress Guide and the Evil Overlord List for us, so that we can make sure we don't make any of the usual mistakes the bad guys do in the movies and on TV."

Looking down at the top sheet, Buffy saw the heading: 'Guidelines for Evil Empresses,' followed by a list that began with the admonition:
1. Beauty is fleeting, power is vulnerable. I will not risk the latter for the former.
2. I will use my magic mirror for spying on my enemies rather than for vain attempts at preserving my position as fairest in the land.
3. I will have the pre-teen child of my chief lieutenant examine all of my evil plans. Any flaws that he/she is able to spot will be corrected before implementation of said plans.
4. I will not have a daughter. I might raise her to be as evil as she was beautiful, but one look at the enemy leader's handsome face and she'd betray her own mother. The ungrateful little wench.
5. I will not have a son. He’d either attempt to usurp his mother’s position and/or become the exact opposite of everything I raised him to be. Namely, a spineless incompetent minion.
6. No matter how physically attractive one of my enemies may be, I will not order him sent to my bedchambers in order to 'pleasure' me.
7. My enemies will not be entitled to any form of last request.
8. Personally stabbing them in the heart is the best way to deal with those who betray and/or oppose me. Note that this does not necessarily apply to enemy witches and vampires; who will preferably have their heads chopped off instead.
9. I will not have any members of my organization wear revealing or sexually suggestive clothes. They do not provide any form of protection in battle, and only serve to distract those of the opposite gender at the worst possible time.
10. I will only employ minions who work strictly for money and/or other forms of reward. Those who do what I tell them out of fear and so-called loyalty tend to let their prisoners go, or give them a feasible chance for escape...

"Thanks, Xand," Buffy laughed out loud as she gave the first ten rules of the list a quick once-over. "This is really the perfect accessory for all our costumes.

"Now we know what to avoid, in order to ensure that our rule will remain unchallenged," the Slayer declared as she lifted her head and let a haughty expression slide onto her face.

"You have our thanks, and our promise to appoint you as our Chancellor, once our reign is established," Buffy then magnanimously declared in a pompous, obviously put-on tone of voice.

"I live but to serve you, My Lady," Xander easily stepped into his own role, and bowed before the petite ‘witch’. { Well, apart from having my wicked way with whatever suitable woman may happen to cross my path. }

{ And as long as you don't interfere with my experiments... } he then added, trying to get into the mindset of his character.

"As do I, My Lady," Willow chimed in, quickly falling into the same festive mood as her friends, and dropping to one knee before Buffy. "I am your most faithful bodyguard, and I swear to destroy any who might seek to stand against you."

"Then rise, my faithful servants, and let us depart," Buffy intoned imperiously. "The world outside this house awaits its chance to serve the magnificent Maleficent, and I will not delay any further opportunities for it to bow down and worship at my feet."

Watching her sister and her sidekicks/minions for the evening head out towards the high school, Dawn shook her head as she declared, "Buffy enjoyed saying that *way* too much," before she headed back upstairs to don her own costume –

The one and only Matrix-Supergirl.

~/~/~

If you're not sure who the various characters are; check out these links:

Maleficent: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maleficent.

Mr. Sinister: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Sinister.

Big Barda: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Barda.

Matrix-Supergirl: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supergirl_%28Matrix%29.

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