"No." A nod.
"No, Willow. You were just in a COMA."
"Woah. Capitals." Oz commented.
Willow looked down. "Damn. I hate it when he uses capitals."
"Well duh." Cordelia spoke up, "he only does when, you know, he's right
"Is probably going to cheer Buffy on as she kicks Angelus' big fat a-"
"No," Cordy interrupted, "He'd brood." Everyone looked at her. "What?" Xander grinned from where he stood, while Oz raised a knowing eyebrow.
"I thought you liked Angel?" Willow asked.
"I do, but, puh-lease. I so know he'd brood about being uncursed and Buffy taking so long to kick his ass. and that she is going to, regardless of how long it took her."
"Xander's rubbed off on you." Willow commented, then eeped at the glare Cordelia sent her way for it. "I meant his opinion... you know... not with the likeage."
Cordelia just looked at Xander and shrugged. "He's told me some things about his broodiness that may have helped sway me. But I make my own opinions."
"He brooded about when Buffy walked off to her own funeral, and it took this great lump to force him into doing something, so of course I think he'd brood about this whole thing."
Xander winced, not from the memory, but from that she'd just spilled the beans. Oddly, Oz looked like he knew this already - a feat of reading the stoic guy who was more tight-lipped than spock.
Speaking of, Oz leant over to whisper something to Willow, who was in shock and not believing it for a second. Well, until Oz said something...
"Okay. But you're doing this one, mister!"
She blinked, even as she started doing exactly what she planned to do when she felt the spell begin - properly, this time, and not the half-dozen times she'd felt someone try it only for it to fail. Hell, she remembered doing exactly what was needed to stop the catastrophic collapse of the magical energies built up those times, so they didn't harm willow. But this, seventh try at the spell was working. It wasn't much of a surprise.
No, what got her to blink, aside from having a body now, was that she could see, across the room from her, was exactly who she thought she would be in. Willow.
Cordelia was looking at her oddly, and almost spoke up, but thankful that she could do this without interrupting the spell, did the almost universal indicator for 'just a minute', raising a finger and then tapping her wrist.
Whatever, she knew she wouldn't get to tell Cordelia, or Willow... or Xander? What this was about. Xander might know, given... she could feel him just at the edge of her mental barrier, something she didn't think would happen.
Actually, as she reached the last verse of the spell, she felt completely different to how she'd been informed she should feel. She felt in control...
And not, at the same time. It was disturbing. She felt a snoopy dance start with her toes, although it wasn't her doing.
She also thought she heard someone hum a tune of victory. Very odd.
And when she was finished... she felt the build-up of magical energy rush out, accomplishing what it was commanded... but it was different. she felt in the energy that there was a cost to herself and xander - that was a given... but it was different.
She should have been gone.
She looked at the others, who were looking at her in alarm.
"... Willow.... Cordelia...?" She asked, then cleared her voice, hoarse from rushing out the spell.
"What was that language?" Willow asked.
"Old Romany." She answered... and realized that she was, as she thought, in Xander's body. Oh dear.
"But... you don't know romany."
She grinned a bit, "Well, Xander doesn't, but I do..."
Cordelia's response was swift... and oddly ineffectual. Rubbing her head, she cried out in annoyance, "Ow, Cordelia!"
"Who are you?!"
".... Jenny." She said.
Willow blinked. "Jenny?"
She nodded. "Yeap. Thought you'd be the one I'd take over to complete the curse - with modifications..." She blinked as her mind - now knowing the full old romany language she'd been taught to accomplish this, translated it and she realised Xander - who was definitely now more noticable, and almost twitching her... his foot - had done something.
"What happened to Xander?" Cordelia was asking, even as Willow teared up.
"He's here. I'm surprised I still am, actually... The curse is serious black magic, and calls for a sacrifice. Either a soul - not xander since I can feel him in here, and not me since I'm here... or a... mind..." She blinked. "Oh god. It's a mind."
She cracked a smile for a second, trying to not find it hilarious, and instead focused on an old romany spell that could determine what a cost was to be, and aimed it at her own mind, hunting for the curse.
And cracked up laughing.
"What?" Willow asked again.
"Cordelia, if you had to share your body with, say... Giles..."
"I'd loose my mi...mind.." She blinked. "Seriously?"
Jenny nodded. "One second, I can... I'll see if I can give Xander control again..."
Willow was the one to comment. "This is three times now, Xander."
"I know..." He tilted his head. "Third times the charm? Seriously Jenny?"
Cordelia groaned at the pun.
"I can do what?" Xander added, obviously in a conversation with Jenny. "But... well yes she... Really? Okay I get that... Your aunt who? No, I can... okay... and what about? what do you mean just think? Oh... yeah I probably do look like a lunatic."
Willow and Cordelia looked at each other, wondering what the hell.
Oz watched as Buffy walked out of the warehouse looking forlorn.
"Thanks, for... You know, telling me the truth."
"Did Xander try the spell like Willow said?"
He shrugged. "Haven't checked."
"Well, it's not like it worked in time if he did." She frowned. "Mind if I crash at your place?"
He gave a raised eyebrow.
"She gave me the 'if you go dont come back' speech."
"Ah. Sure." He answered, making a mental note to speak to Miss Summers. No. Get Xander to, he mentally corrected. Xander could lay on a heavier dose of guilty-tripping when he needs to. And being her best male friend would give it more weight than if buffy's best friends' boyfriend was the one to say anything. Aka himself.
--One year later.
"So, one crispy Mayor as requested." Xander spoke and dropped the smoking corpse on the floor of the library.
"Told you Jeeves that Xand could do it."
"Yes, quite, Faith." Giles commented. "And the price this time, Jenny?" He asked, and congratulated himself on being able to say her name without stuttering.
Faith shuddered as her slayer sense told her that her best bud was in control of the guy next to her now. Jenny spoke up, "Apparently, and I quote, 'Sharing headspace with that guy is punishment enough.'" She shook her head. "I'm glad he lets me take over and sleeps when Cordelia and I go shopping. I'd have never gotten him away from mismatched clothing."
"Hey, I like his sense of style." Faith commented in protest. "His Hawaiian prints are cool!"
"He's only got two, Faith. And they're eye-sores. He doesn't even wear them that often. In fact, I don't remember him wearing them outside of the... house..." Jenny paused and gave a knowing grin at the slayer, who blushed. "You do realise that He and Cordelia are still strong?"
"Yep. Didn't think she was your type."
Jenny shrugged at that, "With the sort of cleansing magic I used to have to do during my younger days after a bout of dark magic, I got used to that sort of thing."
"Well, hard not to be when you're suddenly a guy and other guys don't do it for you." She said, then winced.
Faith glanced at Giles, who tried to act like he hadn't felt the impact of those words, all the same he replied in an attempt at easy candor, "Yes well, I assure you that guys dont do it for me either."
Jenny blinked, and Faith held the shudder from sensing the switch.
"Damn Jeeves, that was harsh." Faith scolded.
He gave her a raised eyebrow of 'I don't care'.
"Come on X, lets go see if we can cheer her up."
Giles swore at the situation, then noticed the corpse was left on the floor, and heard Jenny's distinct xander-voiced giggle as they passed the doors - it was even punctuated by Faith's noticable shudder at sensing a switch, and swore at the situation. They'd done that on purpose, leaving him with yet another dead body!
He shuddered hearing Faith's loud comment of, "So Buffy's still living with Willow and Oz right? think they're in a threesome?"
--Another year on
Faith had to say it. "I don't know how you manage it, X, J."
"Having two relationships at once, with them both knowing about it. and Not making it a threesome. Or would it be foursome? I guess that makes both relationships threesomes..."
Xander almost coughed, but Jenny helped him keep that reflex under control. "Why Faith, you sound jealous. Almost like You'd prefer Xander in your head?"
Faith coughed and thought for a second what would have happened if he'd gotten into her head. Hell, X wasn't her best bud - J was, but they both shared a body she'd kill for. Well, she had killed for, but then again as a Slayer, killing vamps didn't count much as it was covered under the job description. No, if X was in her head, given their luck, good and bad, a remnant of the hyena would have been left behind in his mind from that thing and also jumped ship with him, and who knew what that would do to her, a hyena - which by all accounts upped' xanders strength past slayer levels - in a slayer's body? though the soldier would have been useful. she wasn't much against guns despite the slayer spirit preference for medieval stuff.
In an effort to change subject, she commented, "So, Willow and that guy... what did J call him?"
Jenny spoke up, "Captain Boring."
"Yeah. Didn't see that coming."
"I don't think she does either." Jenny commented with a saucy wink.
"Yeah." She smiled a little and got a far away look, but not of happiness. "He was the most boring lay I've ever had."
"Tell me about it." Xander commented, and added, "wait.. no, don't."
Faith was glad at that moment that they'd learned how to talk without a full switch, because she'd never gotten to stop shuddering whenever they did a full switch. As it was, she was used to their voices so knew who spoke, even when someone who didn't know either of them couldn't tell that there were two separate people there. Even his teachers at college.
Unnoticed by all, Riley was nearby and shaking his head at the pair... or trio, that had given Maggie Walsh an mental breakdown several months ago. He'd not known what caused it until Willow had accidentally let slip their nightly activities... at the same time that he had too.
--later that year...
X and J grinned at the little bundle of joy they were holding. Looking at the proud parents, then at the eager grandmother, they passed the bundle to Joyce.
"What are you going to name her?" Joyce asked her daughter.
Buffy looked at oz, and said... "Jenny."
Oz spoke at the same time... "Dawn."
Jenny looked at the bundle, and nodded. "Dawn Jenny Summers-Osbourne."
Buffy pouted. "I was naming him after you."
"I know, but one lesson from my family was never do that for first names. It would be like if your mom named you Joyce. we'd always get confused over who's talking about who."
Oz simply answered. "Cool." He looked at his daughter, and grinned. "Same initials."
"Oh?" Xander asked.
"Yeah. Daniel Jack Stuart Osbourne."
"Wait... Jack Stuart?"
"And... Jack Daniels?"
Faith coughed from the doorway, and Xander grinned. "Hey, welcome to the land of Oz."
Even Jenny groaned at that bad joke.
--Almost a year on
Jenny and Xander sat back in shock. Cordelia and Tara, on either side of them, also sat back in shock.
Faith calmly made her way across the battlefield and picked up baby Dawn, and acted exactly how she thought an aunt should act, and calmed the baby down rather quickly. She quickly fled the scene, child in her protective arms.
Buffy and Oz made their way out of the danger zone, and almost as soon as they had stepped out of it, the whole thing collapsed. Jenny had to admit, it was like the place accepted that it was going to be destroyed anyway, what remained of it that is.
"Willow." Buffy spoke as she reached the group, and from their radios came the response.
"The... package... is being delivered to Momma B... to her."
Riley came on the radio. "Team I are backing up agent Hot and Horny... The Mini is well protected. I've already despatched a doctor to rendezvous to check the Mini over."
Xander came on. "Guys this channel is protected both mystically and magically from every form of eavesdropping by anyone we don't allow to listen in. Say it like it is, Faith, not... Hot and Horny. Your team, not Team 'I'. Joyce, not Momma Bear. And Dawn's no car."
Faith added her voice from wherever she was. "I don't know, 'Agent Hot and Horny' is me to a T, as Jeeves says."
.... Okay, this meandered, and had no particular... story.
disclaimer? I dont own Jack Schitt. But I think y ou already knew that.
Oh, and... kudos to those that picks up on a reference to another fanfic (that for various reasons isn't posted here). would the author of it please stand up? :P anyway.
and the crossover? er, I intended to make it a proper one, but I'll settle for 'same universe' where the power of three is a big deal, especially when unforseen circumstance means that 3 equals 4. hmm, I dont know which I was refering even - charmed (the fourth sister) or this fic. So I guess it REALLY fits. (referenced in the relationship bit. yes, X/C, and J/T.)