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What Xander Saw

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Summary: Sequel to The Great Hostess Bankruptcy Debacle

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > ComedyMissEFR1313370112,93711 Jan 1211 Jan 12Yes
Disclaimer: Don’t own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Hostess Baking Inc

Notes: Sequel to The Great Hostess Bankruptcy Debacle, because a couple of people wanted to know what he saw/they did.


Xander was lost inside his own head: Hostess had filed for bankruptcy. Why were they trying to save the World when there wasn’t going to be a World worth saving left? So now he was trapped inside the wasteland of his imagination, all ruins and grey skies, and Twinkie wrappers rolling like tumbleweeds down empty streets.

“Xander,” a seductive voice echoed through the emptiness.

“Xander,” a second voice cooed in harmony with the first.

Xander looked around to find … two bars of golden, creamy goodness standing there … flirting with him? One had, er, its hand on its … hip, and a very ‘come hither’ look on its kind of anthropomorphised face. And he know knew he was in hell, because not only were Hostess going bankrupt, but now his delusions were peppered with Giles-speak.

“What’s going on?” Xander asked tentatively.

One of the snack cakes put its hand on his upper arm. “You need to be strong, Xander,” it … she said. “You can survive this.”

“I’m not sure I want to,” Xander shrugged, “not if there isn’t going to be any more golden goodness to be had.”

“Oh, Xander,” the other Twinkie cooed, “we’ll always be here for you.”

“But –”

The first Twinkie put … her finger on his lips, stopping him. “You’re strong, and we believe in you,” she encouraged.

“If you really think so,” Xander frowned.

“We do!” the Twinkies chorused. “But you need to wake up now.”

“Right,” Xander nodded. “I’ll just … wake up.”


“Willow, what are you doing in my lap?” Xander asked, bemused. “Buffy, what… Actually, don’t answer that. Just … let me go, and we won’t talk about this again, okay?”

Willow and Buffy immediately jumped away, straightening themselves and nodding vigorously.

“Sure thing, Xan,” Buffy yelped.

“Anything you say, Xan,” Willow squeaked in tandem with her friend.

Xander looked over to where the blonde witch was sniggering, dirty bowl of stuff Xander didn’t want to know about, and hoped would wash out easily in front of her.

“Ever again,” Xander repeated firmly.

The End

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