Why Maggie Walsh Hates Xander Harris.
Riley knocked on the door.
"Are you alright, Professor?"
Maggie scowled at him, ignoring that she was half-drunk. "I'm fine. Go away."
"... No. You're drinking, and you don't drink. What's wrong?"
"... That bloody..." She started, and fell into mumbling various things and obscenities. Riley managed to catch "O'Neill" and "Maybourne" in there, but how that related to "Harris" he didn't know. The fact he knew who all three were spoke volumes of his access to classified details.
First, he knew Colonel Harry Maybourne. He was a Grade-A slimeball, but a good one given that Maybourne was the one who recruited him for the Initiative before Walsh took over. Hell, he was the last one from the original lot before she took over. That he was also his contact while he acted as the NID's mole within the Initiative - both pre-walsh and post-walsh was neither here nor there.
Second, he knew Colonel Jack O'Neill. A legend in black ops circles, pilot and paratrooper. He's flown flawed planes and jumped out of perfectly good ones, as the saying goes. He's also a legend for that he's no stranger to the demonic or alien. (The part where this goes back to his twenties is well-hidden.) He's also Riley's dad's mate from when old General Finn was a Lt Colonel, commanding the Marine unit that had to get their asses pulled out of a demonic hellfire by that happy-go-lucky Major Jack O'Neill of the USAF's Helljumpers. (The name was not chosen simply to sound cool.)
How one sunnydale native, Xander Harris, was connected to the two biggest names from the US governemtns two alien and demonic taskforces (and rivals at that) was a mystery that left him worried.
"Hey... Riley. Not seen you since you were a kid. What you up to now?"
"Army? You joined those punks?"
"Ini... I've heard of it. NID Operation, right? Heard they were in cleveland."
"Su- did you just say SUNNYDALE?!"
"YES I BLOODY WELL KNOW WHERE SUNNYDALE IS! I THOUGHT THE NID WAS SMART!"
"Yes I know Xander."
"Simple. My sister married his father."
"You alright, Riley? You didn't choke on something did you?"
"Wait... why you asking about Maybourne?"
"He What? Is he trying to give me a coronary?"
"So he recruited you to be an NID mole in The Initiative. Right."
"Fine. You want to know something I barely can stand to admit is real? The part I like, is that Xander's my nephew, I freely admit that. He's a good kid. what I don't like, is that his mother - my sister - married that punk ass Tony Harris, who's father had another son, who took his
wifes' name - her the other son took the name, I mean. and would you believe me if I told you who that son's son was, ergo xander's cousin? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count."
"... Yes, I'm related to that Rat Bastard."
"You there? Hello? Hello?!"
Teal'c gave Xander a slow nod, as he did his once-a-month patrol in Sunnydale.
"So, Teal'c..." Xander started, and grinned. "Got any Jaffa Jokes?"
"Indeed, I shall endeavour to translate one for you...
"A Serpent Guard, A Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet in a neutral location."
Xander nods slwoly - what he'd read of thoe guards in his books had covered it well enough he didn't even need his uncles' story about goa'uld and jaffa, or the pictures of apophis' and heru'ur's guards, or that Seth fella recently discovered befor ethe grou traipsed down here.
"It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard's eyes glow. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Setesh Guard's Nose drips."
Xander and Teal'c shared a short look, before they both cracked up.
Harry Maybourne and Jack O'Neill shared a look from nearby.
"Definitely your sense of humour, Jack."
Buffy frowned as she got home. "Hey mom."
"Hey Buffy. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just... My psychology professor had a mental breakdown."
"A mental breakdown. And get this, when the ambulance showed up to take her to hospital, she was raving about Xander. Why would Xander drive someone insane?"
Riley sighed as he finished the paperwork, and looked at Maybourne, the temporary CO of the Initiative now. "What the hell did Xander do?"
"He may have learned from me what she was up to."
"What. Did. He. Do."
Maybourne smirked, and shrugged. "Hey, he's got Jack's skillsets, not mine."
Riley growled a little, and asked again.
"Well, I may have helped a bit." Maybourne added, still not explaining.
"And Jack. Oh, definitely Jack, he really doesn't like that woman."
Xander smiled at Willow, who was all 'resolve-face', and finding it oddly ineffectual.
"What, she was running a military black op but wanted to make a demonic frankenstein's monster. I had to do something." He answered exasperated.
"You drove her INSANE!" Willow pointed out, knowing Xander was telling the truth having met Riley Finn and Harry Maybourne.
"Well... that wasn't me. That was Jack and Harry."
"XANDER." She shouted again.
"well... I might have helped."
"... did most of it..."
"Xander." She said, and he was amazed at the various subtlies of meaning she could put into his name.
"Oh come off it wills, she wanted to lock you up and turn you into a lab rat to later be turned into a component for frankenstein's monster. And you don't want to know her plans for Buffy. They were worse."
"He's right too, Kid." Jack said from the doorway. Willow turned to the older man, and frowned. He looked familiar, but she couldn't place his face, or name.
"And you are?"
" Colonel Jack O'Neill, US Air Force. And you're Willow Rosenberg, the little hacker witch who helped us a few times to get her criminal record expunged."
Xander blinked. "Really?"
"You think she could hack into the Mystically-protected Pentagon mainframe and not be traced? Please. She'd be facing ten to life minimum if she was brought up on the full list of charges. Fact is though, she's damned good, so the CIA suggested that we recruit her."
Willow frowned, and said, "But, a group called the Helljumpers did that."
Xander blinked. "Okay, I know you're a helljumper, Jack. But recruiting Willow? When did that happen?"
"We didn't recruit her, Well, after you told me about her I connected the dots and wanted to, but three years later and she's given up her hacking life for magic." JAck shrugged. "We already have plenty of witches."
"Xander, how do you know the Helljumpers?"
Xander blinked, and said, "What, you don't remember? He's my Uncle."
A minute later, Xander and Jack shared looks, "Why does everyone sound so surprised when they hear that?"
Frankly, it was testiment to how many times they've told and people were in fact surprised that they didn't realise immediately they had both said it.
Oddly, it had succeeding in Willow ignoring the whole 'Xander drove Maggie Walsh insane' thing.
Jack smiled as his short... 'vacation' finished, and smiled at Captain Carter - now Major given the recent promotion.
"How was your trip to Sunnydale?"
"Good. Xander sends his regards."
"Thanks." She remembered meeting him at the SGC's summer get-together. He'd seemed quite taken with her, and she was comfortable with that for some reason. Not that she was attracted to the kid, but still. "I'll need to make a trip in the next month. They've got the biggest library of magical knowledge that I know of."
Jack nodded idly, as he messed with her techno-gizmos. "How's that technopagan stuff coming for ya?"
".Okay. Blew up a few fusion generators yesterday, but I remembered Xands' advice." She rolled her eyes. "Not near populated centres."
"Wait, that was you? That huge explosion over the pacific?"
"... Yeah." She answered, embarrassed.
Jack shook his head, and asked, "How is Daniel handling the whole magic thing? of all of us, I'd figure you would be the toughest sell and he'd already have known about vampires and magic. Imagine my surprise." He finished, sarcasm almost physical.
"Dealing. It's not helping with the Ma'chello thigns still in his system. What did you do to that psychiatrist anyway?
"Oh, took a page from my nephew's book." Jack replied with an attempt at giving off an air of mystery. An attempt, not successful.
"Drove him into the nut house then."
"Jumped to that conclusion a bit quick there, Carter."
"I've met your nephew, and I know you
"we're not that bad."
: Inversed the common 'carter doesn't accept magic while daniel does' thing. Some of those have daniel know before joining the SGC and even before the first trip. Here, Carter was acquianted with it at some point in the past year or two and had started on the track of , as mentioned above, becoming a technopagan. Yes, Shudder. a woman who can blow up a star system with technology having access to magic. and no, in this fusion, the stargate isn't technomagic.
the timeline for the scoobs finding out about the initiative is pushed up quite a bit, near the start of the school year minimum. (first month, no later).