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Xander, Jack, Maybourne...

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Summary: And why the hell is everyone so surprised that any two of them (never mind all three) are related?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredAlexanderMcphersonFR1388,02134139,24813 Jan 1215 Jan 12No

Meanwhile in hell...

Jack blinked.

Harry blinked.

Hammond felt his multiple ulcers start to dance in joy and try making babies again.

"Was it me or you who said that?" Jack asked.

"I think it was both of us."


"I ag..." Maybourne started, but paused.

"I feel dirty."

"Oddly, I don't."

"There's a relief."

"Yes it i... gah. Dont agree, don't agree." Maybourne chanted to himself.


Jar'Zche'soemthing or other turned the tap to the dirtying fire shower, intent on getting rid of that ugly clean smell and started to lather brimstone not-soap-and-if-you-call-it-that-kevin-from-the-company-will-make-you-live-on-earth into his hair, intent on making the straight and ... ugh... shiny hair into a ragged 'ready for a brawl' mess

"HOFUCK THATS COLD!" he stared at the jets of almost-ice water coming from the head.

It paused long enough for the enchanted head to reply, "How the fuck do you think I feel?"

Jar quickly got dressed and made it out of his rundown apartment to see that most of Hell was feeling the freeze.

Meetings were had, long so-boring-its-clearly-evil meetings, and various groups discovered the problem.

"Wait, how many people are agreeing?" Jar asked.

"About eight dozen people, in the four dozen or so groupings where at least one member of each almost always disagrees with the other."

"And they're all in agreement over things at this moment?"

"... Yes."

"According to the most evil chart I have ever seen, this trend started quite some time ago. Who started it?"

"ah... Jack O'Neill and Harry Maybourne."

"Huh. Those that Helljumper and former Helljumper?"


"Iu know their rep, they never ag... huh. Wow. I take it their recognition of the fact is what triggered the magical compulsion?"



Xander and Buffy came back from a trip into some hell dimension, and shuddered.

"Next time, Xan, I'm packing extra clothes." Buffy spoke as she sat down with a thump on her couch, and looked at a note that one of the mini-slayers left for them.

"... H....y.... you... l..l..lucky.... c...c...cow."


"S...Sla...slayer....h..h..heating." He spoke out.

Buffy thought, and recognized that yes, the slayer spirit was making her feel not as cold as she figured she should feel.

"I'll call Willow and tell her to zap y ou over to Cordy's. She'd protest if I warmed you up."


"I swear, next time we're called to travel to a hell dimension, I'm checking the weather reports." Buffy added with humour.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Xander, Jack, Maybourne..." – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 15 Jan 12.

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