So what's going on, Dweeb Boy?
Disclaimer: Sanctuary, created by Damien Kindler and Amanda Tapping
Pairing: X/Amy (eventually)
Author’s Notes: Despite what you may think, I’m not Buffy bashing. But let’s be honest, in the first couple seasons she was kind of a “stake first and ask questions later” unless a certain broody vampire was involved. She didn’t start to grow up until Angelus was unleashed.
On another note…for those of you not familiar with Sanctuary, here’s a link to a video that shows Nikola Tesla in action on that show (and some Helen Magnus who Amy was possessed by on Halloween). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gfxef8tqnwI
As before, I’m only periodically updating this and “Powers Screw Up Again” between chapters of “War of Angels” (which is pretty dark so I’m writing more “cheerful” stuff here on TTH).
“Okay, dweeb, what’s going on?”
Xander looked up from the project he was working to see Cordelia standing there. He actually didn’t need to look up or even hear her to know she was there. He caught her scent a couple minutes ago as she came down the hallway, stopped outside the door approximately thirty-four seconds before entering the room, and approached his table. He didn’t say anything as she stood there impatiently for another twenty-two seconds, waiting for her to start off with her usual greeting which came in the form of an amateur insult which, sadly, was getting to predictable. “Oh, Cordy,” he said, “it’s you.” Then he looked around. “So…where are the sheep?”
“Really, Harris,” Cordy shot back, “is that the best you can do?”
“Well, it’s all I can think of right now,” Xander admitted. “But the description is accurate. I mean, they walk around with their mindless bleating…bah…bah….baaaah…and they wonder around aimlessly and pretty much aren’t capable of finding their own way without you to guide them. Especially, Harmony…if she doesn’t become a Vamp happy meal soon, she’s more likely to walk off a cliff to her death because she can’t read the warning signs unless they’re drawn in crayon.” He then went back to working on his project. “So what do you want?” he asked, not looking up at her again.
“What I want, Mister, is an explanation about this morning!” Cordy snapped. “Besides, what are you doing here? You don’t even have metal shop, you’re supposed to be taking Miss Brewers Lit class.”
Xander sighed and straightened up, point over his shoulder with his thumb at the shop teacher at the other end of the room. “Mr. Baxter, as you noticed, is sitting behind his desk intently paying attention to whatever he’s got on the computer. My guess is that he’s probably downloading porn again, but that’s none of my business.” He pulled off the gloves he was wearing and set them on a chair. Then he looked at Cordelia again. “As for me being here…let’s be honest, the student body has a high mortality rate and I don’t think the teachers care who is or isn’t in class so long as they see a mostly full classroom. Miss Brewer is probably so loaded on her anti-depressants and reliving the 60s that she probably doesn’t realize another student is missing in her class.”
“Okay, you got a couple points there, but what about this morning?”
“Ah, this morning,” Xander said as he picked up a soldering iron and used it to solder a couple wires to a circuit board. “You mean when I showed up to explain what happened on Halloween and Psycho-Blond decided to stake me?” After he finished soldering the wires, he looked back up Cordelia again. “There’s not much to discuss.”
“Xander, you vamped out in front of them.”
“And I warned them not freak out. And what happened? I do believe Willow shrieked, you said ‘what the hell!’, and I suddenly got wood…shoved into my chest.” He closed a tiny hatch on the device he was working on and picked it up off the table. “Hmm…this should work.”
“Xander, Halloween changed you.” Xander was caught off guard by that sentence because Cordelia Chase actually sounded concerned. “You got some spooky abilities, Amy Madison is identifying a bunch of artifacts in Giles’ collection, Buffy speaks French, Jonathan Levinson systematically slaughtered a frog in Biology with surgical precision…which grossed me out by the way and that’s why I’m here because I had to go to the restroom to throw up…and Willow is actually going out of her way to touch everything. What’s disturbing is that, out of the whole lot, Willow’s the normal one.”
“Not really,” Xander said, “you’re still the bitchy Queen C we all know and loathe. So you’re still normal.”
“Okay, you’re still a prick,” Cordelia laughed, “so I guess that means your dweebness is still intact…and what the hell is that you’re working on? It looks like some cheezy prop from one of those awful old sci-fi films.”
Xander held the device up, examining the small tesla coil at the muzzle of the device. “Yes, I suppose it does look like a cheezy ray-gun from some lame 1950s Sci-fi film, but it’s not a ray gun.”
“Oh really, and what pray tell, is it?”
“What do you care?” Xander asked. “I’m just one of your favorite targets.”
“You ARE my favorite dweeb-target,” Cordy countered, “but seriously…what is it?”
Xander sighed. “Very well,” he said as he flipped a switch on the device which began to hum ominously. “This is a low-level magnetic gravitational nullifier that can neutralize or manipulate the magnetic field around a target.”
“Okay…for those of us who don’t speak dweeboid, can you translate?” Cordy asked, playfully poking Xander in the shoulder.
“Yeah, Harris,” spoke up another voice behind then. “When did you truly embrace your inner geek?”
Xander turned to see Larry Blaisdell approaching and shook his head. “Ah, Larry…I assume you’re here go through your usual spiel of threatening to beat my ass to a bloody pulp and roll my semi-comatose body down the halls as a warning to everyone else that you are the undisputed lord of this school, which is a shame because we all know the insufferable little troll in the office pretending to be the principal believes himself as lord of the realm. So, do me a favor, spout off your rhetoric, and then we can settle this in the hall at lunchtime.”
Larry stopped for a few seconds, the puzzled expression on his face a clear sign to Xander that, like Snyder only a couple hours earlier, Larry’s brain was having difficulty trying to process what Xander had said to him. Finally, after a couple more seconds, Larry blinked and nodded. “Fine, geek-boy, at lunch then.”
“Fine,” Xander said, “I’m glad we got that settled. Now, Cordy, as for what this device does…”
Xander aimed the device at the double doors of the shop class and pulled the trigger. The device admitted another low hum…and then the doors ripped away from the door frame, flying across the hallway before slamming into the lockers against the wall.
“Whoa!” Cordy yelled. The rest of the students who were working on their own projects looked up and gasped in surprise at what had just happened. As usual, Mr. Baxter, was oblivious, listening to his headphones while watching something intently on his computer.
However, the shop teacher must have sensed something was amiss because he looked up a couple seconds later to look at his students. “Class, what’s going on?” he asked.
“Gas leak, Mr. Baxter,” Xander quickly replied before anyone else could respond, quietly setting his device down on the table.
“Again?” Mr. Baxter said, shaking his head. “Been telling Snyder that those welding tanks need to be replaced. Okay…everyone out.” He then returned his attention to his computer, furiously tapping away to log out of whatever site he was on.
While the other students exited the room, Xander calmly took his “nullifier” apart and placed the three pieces in his gym bag. He then looked up and saw Cordelia and Larry still standing there. “So,” he said, “I guess it’s an early lunch. Now I’m going to put this away in my locker and…” He pointed at Larry. “And then I guess I’ll see you in the hall somewhere in…about…ten minutes?”
He then turned and sauntered out of the classroom, the gymbag slung over his shoulder as he whistled a happy tune.
For a couple seconds, Cordelia and Larry stood there, watching Xander walk away. Then they glanced at each other for a moment before running towards the door to go after him.
“Yo! Harris! Wait up!”
“Xander! You have some explaining to do!”