AN: this is slash of the Dean and Xander variety with possible mentions of a threesome. Don’t like don’t read. This is AU for Angel. While the Scoobies were recovering at the Hyperion Giles and Xander cornered Wes and Angel when they couldn’t get in touch with Cordy. Giles and Willow managed to wake her up. She chose to stay with the Fang gang but has mandatory daily calls to at least one of the Scoobies. They also helped with Spike when he popped out if the amulet.
“You’re gay??? Why didn’t you tell us?? Tell me??” shouted Willow when she regained the ability to speak.
“I’m not gay,” said Xander with an amused expression on his face.
“But you just said you slept with that Dean guy,” argued Buffy.
“Gay’s a life style choice. I’m not a part of the gay scene. I hate fashion and I refuse to like Kathy Griffin she’s annoying. I’m bi and I favor girls. I’ve only had one relationship with a guy. The rest of my significant others have been women. It might even be a Dean thing. He’s entirely too sex on legs to resist. Think male Faith,” admitted Xander with a smirk.
Dawn and Faith cackled in response. Giles couldn’t hold back his snickers at the looks on Buffy and Willow’s faces. Buffy managed to shake off her shock first and ask, “You got a picture of the yummy goodness?”
Xander snorted but pulled out his wallet. He had a picture of Dean and himself that John had taken after his first salt ‘n’ burn. Willow snapped out her daze when she heard the word picture. The girls all gathered around him trying to see the picture first.
“It’s from four years ago so it’s kinda old but he’s the same with a bit more muscle,” offered Xander as he held the photo out.
“Mmm definitely yummy goodness. Apparently you do have a type. How do you keep getting so lucky with the hotness? Wait, did you do the standard evil test?” asked Buffy handing the photo to Willow.
“He’s not evil or a demon…HEY! What do you mean by that? I’m adorable and funny. I have a great personality what not to love? What’s my type?” asked Xander
“Your type is anyone way too hot to consort with the self-proclaimed King of the Cretins,” explained Buffy. At his frown she continued, “Example A Ampata, evil mummy but really cute, example B Cordelia, Queen of Sunnyhell high, example C Faith, sex on legs, example D Anya, capitalist former demon hottie, and finally the yummy goodness that is Dean.”
Xander looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning.
Dawn had to add her two cents, “You’re only missing the fact that they’re all emotionally retarded in some way.”
Willow and Buffy frowned at Dawn while Faith nodded her agreement. She knew she wasn’t the picture of emotional health and from what she remembered of Dean he was too self-sacrificing to be considered emotionally healthy. Xander was good about reminding her that she was a better person then she thought she was.
Giles looked thoughtful. Wesley had commented on Xander’s new ability to stop arguments before they reached painful levels. Giles had dismissed it without thought then. Now though he realized Xander was rather good at fixing up the emotionally broken members of their family. Cordelia had been a wholly self-centered alpha bitch type before Xander had dated her. After they broke up she had returned to her former personality for a short while, but now she was the Heart of the LA group. Anya had forgotten how to be a functioning human after her millennia as a Vengeance Demon. Xander had spent three years re-teaching her about how to be a human. By the end of her life she had been a good person. Her bluntness had hid a caring heart. Faith seemed to be his current project and he seemed to be making headway. She was more open about her past now then she had been when they first met her. It could have been the therapy she’d received in prison but he kinda doubted it. She’d mentioned going through six prison shrinks in the two years she’d been there. Of all the children Dawn had spent the most time just hanging out with Xander and she was certainly the most well-adjusted emotionally. She may have abandonment issues but generally she was the most emotionally stable of the group. Willow had been talked off the edge by Xander when no one else had been able to get through to her. While she wasn’t exactly fixed she was headed that way. Buffy was starting to balance out as well. They hadn’t actually all talked about the way things had gone up shit’s creek during the last two year but they had started to mend the fences since the ‘nail gun’ incident last week. Before then they hadn’t done anything together that wasn’t ‘work’ related. Yesterday they had indulged in a movie night which hadn’t occurred since even before the Hellmouth was sealed. Maybe he should take a closer look at Xander or better yet have Athena from the Devon coven take a look at him.
Robin was thinking along similar lines as Giles without the benefit of knowing the group for as long. He had been confused by the construction worker’s presence when he first arrived in Sunnydale. He had worked with Xander and remained confused. Xander was by no means perfect, he argued and made a pain of himself and generally acted like a normal twenty two year old. Robin had watched as Xander worked with the former Potentials and his confusion faded. He watched as Xander helped them to cope with their new strength and abilities, as he listened to their fears and dreams. He had watched as Xander worked with the girls separately and in groups usually dragging Dawn and Faith along for the ride. He watched as Xander treated the new slayers as girls first and slayers second. The same way he treated Buffy, Faith, Willow and Dawn. Robin knew what Xander had been doing for the girls even if he hadn’t bothered to get to know the man. He was glad Xander was the one all the girls went to when they had problems. He had met these people at their worst and was beginning to see them at their best. He realized there was nothing ordinary about Xander at all. He was a little too aware of everyone else’s emotions. He would wait to pass judgment on Dean until after he got to know him and he would make an effort to get to know Xander better.
Xander just snorted at Dawn’s pronouncement and said, “I like super-hot fixer uppers I guess.”
Willow let go of her resentment about Xander not telling her about Dean and announced, “If I wasn’t happy with Kennedy I’d take a ride on him.” She blushed scarlet when her brain caught up with her mouth. The other girls were nodding their agreement while Giles and Robin grinned at Willow’s embarrassment.
Dawn asked, “When is Dean gonna get here?”
Xander replied with, “About three days or so. He’s all the way in Arizona. He’ll call when he gets to Cleveland for the directions here.”
“Anyone else have something that they want to admit to since we’re having impromptu share time?” asked Buffy with a grin.
“I miss us,” admitted Willow. “I’m really sorry about everything. I’m sorry I ripped you out of heaven,” she had tears in her eyes but continued, “but I don’t regret it. I need you. Not because you’re the Slayer but because you’re you, my best friend. I’m so sorry we kicked you out and I’m sorry for everything else too. Without you and Xander I’m not me. I know we screwed up, that I screwed up but I can’t be me without the both of you. You’re here but it feels like you’re not and I miss you both so much. I don’t know how to fix it, but I want us to be ‘us’ again.”
Robin quietly made his exist. This exchange was private and meant for the core group. He would keep the rest of the girls away for the night.
Faith tried to leave but Dawn grabbed her arm and whispered, “Stay. You’re one of us. We need this.” Faith took one look at Dawn’s tear filled face and caved. She wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Buffy smiled sadly and pulled Willow into a hug. Her voice was shaky with tears when she said, “I’m okay with being here now. I’m happy I’m alive and I forgave you for that already. I’ve been working so hard to keep my mind off everything else that happened. I don’t know how to fix it either. I’m sorry too. I want us to be ‘us’ again too. I can’t just forget about all of it but I don’t know how to be me without you guys either.”
They held each other tightly, their frames shaking with tears and long suppressed emotions finally being released. Xander had a sad smile on his face but made no motion to join them.
Buffy and Willow turned to face Xander but neither released their hold on the other.
“What? I’ve never been just me. I don’t know how to fix us either. I’ve been trying to think of some way to fix it but my thoughts just keep circling back too how bad we messed up,” admitted Xander sadly.
He met Buffy’s red rimmed eyes and continued, “I’m sorry about everything that went down then. I’m sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting and how much you needed us. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
He looked at Willow and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Dean. I don’t know why I lied in the first place. I was going to tell you but I didn’t want you to think I was using Anya. I really loved her.”
“Why are you still over there and not here with the hugging?” asked Willow quietly.
Xander shrugged. Willow gave him resolve face and Buffy sent her kicked puppy face so he answered, “Neither of you have really been much with the hugging since,” he motioned to his eye and shrugged again.
Willow and Buffy shared a shame filled look and threw themselves at him. He hadn’t had time to brace himself so he ended up flat on his back with two arms full of weeping and apologizing girls.
They stayed like that for a minute before Dawn clear her throat and said, “I’m sorry about kicking you out of the house and generally being such a selfish brat. I know it was hard having to take care of me and I didn’t make it easy. I’m sorry and I miss spending time doing fun things like shopping and movie night and just being a family.”
They pulled her down into their group hug as she silently cried. Xander still at the bottom of the pile said, “Faith I’m sorry we didn’t let you in. I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you better back then. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good friend to you. Forgive me?”
Faith took a minute to soak in that fact that he cared enough to apologize for something she didn’t really blame him for, before saying, “Only if you forgive me for trying to kill you.”
“Faith, I’m sorry for treating you like an enemy when I should have treated you like a friend. I’m sorry. I was jealous of you. I thought you were taking my friends away from me. I should have been your friend. Will you forgive me?” asked Willow, a hopeful look on her face.
Faith smile and said, “I forgive ya Red. I wasn’t nice to you either. I was jealous that you had a good guy and great friends.”
“I’m sorry too. I should have been there for you but I was so focused on Angel I failed to be a good sister Slayer to you. We didn’t let you in and I’m sorry. Those girls will never know what it was like for us. Will you forgive me and be my sister again?”
Faith grinned and said, “Of course but you have to forgive me back.” Buffy smiled warmly at her and pulled her onto the puppy pile with the rest of them.
Giles cleared his throat and said, “I wish to apologize to all of you. I failed you all. Faith, I failed you most grievously. I should have treated you as I treated Buffy. I should have made sure you had a home with someone to look after you. I’m sorry we made it so easy for the Mayor to get to you. What happened with Mr. Finch was an accident and I’m sorry about how we treated you afterwards. I’m sorry that I never apologized to you. Buffy, I should never have left you. I’m so sorry for everything that happened after that. I make no excuses. Willow, I should have gotten a teacher for you after Jenny was killed. I should have never let you learn on your own. I’m sorry for failing you. Xander I’m sorry for not taking notice of how much you do for all of us. I’m sorry I never truly gave you the training or the respect you deserve. I should have done so many things that I didn’t. I was the adult and should have looked after you all better than I did. I’m sorry.”
Faith swallowed back tears as she asked, “How about we all start over? Hi, I’m Faith Lehane and I’m a senior Slayer.”
“I’m Buffy Summers, the other senior Slayer nice to meet you,” replied Buffy with a smile.
“I’m Alexander Harris, but seriously call me Xander or Boytoy. I’m construction guy,” teased Xander.
Willow giggled and said, “I’m Willow Rosenberg, resident witch. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“I’m Dawn Summers, resident little sister,” joked Dawn.
“I’m Rupert Giles, former librarian and resident Watcher,” said Giles.
“Now that we’re done with all the emotional shit I got a question for Boytoy,” announced Faith.
“What?” asked Xander.
Faith smirked wickedly and asked, “You top or bottom?”
“And on that note I’m off to bed,” stated Giles before Xander could reply. Giles fled as the girls giggled.
“Depends, both are have their perks,” replied Xander.
Dawn got a wicked gleam in her eye’s before asking, “You gonna get back together with Dean?”
Xander shrugged as well as he could from underneath the four girls.
“What do mean by that and use your words?” teased Buffy, lightly smacking his shoulder.
“Depends on him. I’m not against it. We were good together. We’re friends so even if he doesn’t want to get together it wouldn’t matter,” answered Xander.
“Why didn’t he just go with Sam? It’s not like their dad was around much that I could remember,” asked Faith.
“Sam wants a normal life and Dean’s willing to let him have his apple pie life. If he went with Sam he’d be miserable though. Hunting isn’t a thing of revenge for him like is their dad. Sure, he would love to get the demon that killed his mom but that isn’t why he fights. Dean hunts because he likes helping people and saving lives. He hunts to try and prevent what happened to him and his family from happening to other families. He’s no more able to walk away then I am,” explained Xander.