Everybody Loves Luna
Everybody Loves LunaAuthor:
Right, I actually went and checked to be sure this time… Buffy the Vampire Slaye
r, Angel: the Series
, and all associated characters belong to Fran and Kaz Kuzui. And of course, Captain Fangirlhumper… err, J.K. Rowling owns the world the Harry Potter
series takes place in. Wish the characters were mine so I could do utterly retarded things to them and watch my bank account get steadily larger, but sadly not mine either. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.Summary:
"She clearly likes me more. We're going to Paris next month." "I think you mean you're paying to drag her to Paris. The week after? We're going to Norway to look for snorkacks, and… she wants me to get to know her father." "…grr."Joe's Note:
I had originally intended to include a brief intro scene across multiple stories in a series, reflecting a common moment of origin that spawns multiple tales from multiple viewpoints. Then it exploded into… well, this. Not only did it go from a pair of stories to four, but the origin scene exploded exponentially to accommodate the introduction of a new major character.
"She clearly likes me more. We're going to Paris next month."
"Isn't 'I'm paying to drag her to Paris' a bit more accurate? Not that it really matters to me - or her - that I can't afford something like that. We have our own vacation planned starting a week after you get back. She's taking me to Norway with her on her latest critter-hunting expedition. And… wait for it… she's finally going to introduce me to her father."
"Wow. That's only what, a year and a half in the making?"
"Means you're still a year away, doesn't it?"
"Whatever. Bet she has more fun in the City of Love."
"Than the Country of Snorkacks? Uh… huh."
"Wine. Fashion. Amazing food. The Eiffel Tower…"
"Snorkacks. Her father. Snorkacks. Me."
"…grr." Charisse Kennedy turned on her heel, preparing to indulge in a proper 'angry stomp away', only to find a petite Asian girl standing in the doorway looking amused as she munched on an apple. "Something funny, Miss Sleeps-With-Straight-Girls?"
Taking a final bite of her apple, Satsu Tani hefted it before hurling it at Kennedy, the Hispanic Slayer twisting to her left in an attempt to avoid it but feeling the half-eaten fruit bounce off the side of her skull anyway before continuing on to… strike Violet 'Vi' Day, judging by the dismayed noise. Good. If she was going to be stuck picking bits of apple out of her hair, then- "You two should be glad that I was busy chasing after Buffy these past few months." Hand halfway to her head, Kennedy paused and raised an eyebrow at that. "Well, think about it, Ken Doll. I herded a straight girl into my bed. How hard do you think it'd be for me to get a bi or lez girl into my bed if I wanted to? Say… your girl?"
Kennedy had honestly never thought of it like that. As she ran her hand back and forth through her spiky locks, chasing away bits of fruit, she did. While she'd always been derisive of Satsu for her behavior when it came to Buffy, seeing her as just another one of those girls that made the rest of the community look bad, she'd ignored an undeniable truth. Satsu. Had. Succeeded. And if she was that damn persuasive, that she could get the supposedly - and vehemently - straight Buffy into her bed? Not once or twice or three times, but for several months, and sober that entire time? What might she accomplish if she used her powers for good? Nothing with Luna, Kennedy decided. Even if she hadn't shaken Vi off of Luna's leg yet, Luna was hers and she'd be damned if she let Satsu anywhere near her. "Well, I suppose you do need a new hobby. I mean, now that Buffy's gotten tired of stringing you along and gotten herself a vibrator to play with."
"At least my ex-girlfriend didn't leave me rotting in the ground for six months before finally getting around to resurrecting me. Then again, I've never needed that sort of service since I'm good enough at my job to not die." Reaching into her pocket, Satsu fished out… a pair of twenty pound notes? "But hey, let's make it interesting. Forty pounds - twenty for or from each of you - says I can make a moon landing by… let's say the week after Vi gets back from Norway? S'only fair. I mean, I want you to enjoy your vacations instead of spending them trying to patch up your relationships with her…"
A loud roar rolled through the kitchen, Kennedy and Satsu both flinching and covering their ears before glaring over at Vi and her lion-themed, red and gold tuque. God. That thing was even more obnoxious up close than it was in the field, Kennedy thought. If not for the fact that Luna had made it - and Vi could get a replacement from the blonde easily enough - she would have burned that thing long ago. "Okay. So. Kennedy said something mean to Satsu. Satsu said something mean to Kennedy. Can the two of you just… I don't know, go beat the crap out of each other to resolve this? Or do more verbal sparring if you're actually feeling girly for once and don't want to break nails or get bruised? Something that leaves my girlfriend out of it? Especially in combination with money? It's… weird. And kinda skeezy."
Satsu shrugged before brushing past Kennedy, nodding back in the older Slayer's direction as she wandered over to the kitchen island, hopping up onto it and selecting a new apple to snack on. "Hey, you're the one who ended up settling on a time-sharing arrangement when Miss Bitch here decided to move in on your girl instead of fending her off or cutting your loses and walking. Don't blame me for your bad decision-making skills." After taking a first bite from her new apple, Satsu held up the money in her hand again. "So… who here thinks their girlfriend is loyal enough to win them twenty quid?"
"I…" One foot forward and her hand halfway raised, Kennedy abruptly froze. Did she? After all, Luna had gone from being exclusively Vi's girlfriend to the 'time-sharing arrangement' as Satsu had so crudely put it, and that had come nearly a year into Vi and Luna's relationship. Could she confidently say that she was sure Luna wouldn't opt to switch from an odds 'n evens schedule to an every third day schedule if Satsu put herself out there? Then something dawned on her and Kennedy smirked. Nobody ever said she had to fight fair. After all, her and Willow had split on - mostly - amicable terms, Xander liked her well enough, and Buffy was hardly a fan of Satsu these days. Why not take the bet? If Satsu actually appeared to be getting somewhere, she could always appeal to the Big Three and make sure the Japanese girl got a one-way ticket to patrolling in Siberia. Granted she wouldn't win the money, but it wasn't as if she actually needed it and it would give her valuable intel on the state of her relationship with Luna. "You're on."
Groaning, Vi stalked forward and pulled one of the twenty pound notes out of Satsu's hand. "Looks like I don't really have a choice then, do I? Since Kennedy's evidently volunteering Luna for this despite what I want."
"You could always get your own girlfriend."
"You two could always grow up." Vi stuffed the money into her pocket before wandering off muttering, the sandwich she'd been working on when Kennedy stumbled upon her in the kitchen abandoned on the counter. "Should go stuff a copy of this memory into Luna's pensieve. It'd be the fastest thirty-some bucks I've ever made. Probably get rid of Kennedy to boot…"
Oh, now that didn't sound good at all. Trying not to let her expression betray her sudden nervousness, Kennedy plucked the other twenty from Satsu's hand. "Since you're not gonna win, I might as well just take this now. If I'm wrong… well, you know I'm good for forty. Or eighty, since I doubt Vi will pay out anything. And now… well, I don't know what you dateless wonders do with your Friday nights, but I have an owl to send and then a date with Luna to get ready for."
Satsu just gave her a jaunty little salute before taking another bite of her apple. "Training, probably. It helps with that whole 'not dead' thing you seem to have problems with." Christ, Kennedy thought, rolling her eyes. Die one time and people never let you forget it. Hell, she was still doing one better than Buffy. Why was she the one always catching shit? "Say hi to Luna for me, and try to have some fun. I'll send you a message when the Eagle has landed."