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Valentine's Day Sucks

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Summary: Xander hated Valentine's day. Willow and Buffy made it worse, but someone new makes it better. Xander/Harry

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-Centered > Pairing: Harry PotterMyauzoFR1511,390152,07113 Feb 1213 Feb 12Yes
I do not own Buffy the vampire slayer or Harry potter

Valentine’s Day Sucks

“Whose idea was this again?” Xander complained as he adjusted his costume.

“Willow’s,” Buffy said, “she said that nobody would recognize you in it and that’s what we need right now. You should be happy that we are helping you.” She huffed,

“What?! It’s your fault I'm into this mess. All I wanted to do was let this holiday pass me by. I had made plans with the couch. We were going to bond all day with boxes of Twinkies and the Torchwood series.” He yelped when Buffy gave his tail a hard yank.

Now why does Xander have a tail you might ask? Well, it’s a long story. Actually it’s not very long at all, but you obviously want to hear it so I’m going to tell you.

This day of suckishness is called Valentine’s day. Cordelia had broken up with Xander yesterday and all he wanted to do was mope around the house. He had planned to stay home and veg out on the sofa, but a certain witch beat down his door and forced him out of the house. So, he ended up at Willow’s place. His plan only changed slightly; instead of moping at his house he could do it at Willow’s house. Maybe eat a few brownies and cookies along with his box of Twinkies. Unfortunately, halfway through his box of Twinkies he felt magic. It was sort of a weird shivery feeling and he knew it rather well from his time around Giles. He went upstairs to find Willow and there she was in a chalk circle with a few books and candles that he instinctively knew that she should not have.

It was too late to stop her and it was too late to run. So, seconds after Xander opened the door he was hit with a wave of magic and passed out.

Waking up was a…different experience to say the least. Sitting above him blushing was Willow. She had straddled his hips and was pawing at his chest. She had a goofy/lustful look in her eye when she tried to kiss him.

Now don’t get me wrong. Willow is a beautiful girl and Xander knew that, he just didn’t want their special parts to mesh. Ever.

So…he pushed her off…just a little too hard.

Okay. Okay. Willow flew into the wall and cracked the plaster.

Cracked plaster led to Willow being unconscious which then led to Xander freaking out which then led to Xander calling buffy. Buffy had answered the phone with a surprisingly happy and bubbly tone. Her mood darkened when she heard what had happened. 5 minutes later she was at the door. 2 minutes after that she was strangling Xander. This of course led him to be unconscious…again.

When Xander woke up this time he was at Giles’s place. He could hear G-man yelling downstairs. Apparently, Buffy and Willow had somehow gotten into their heads that Xander was potentially suicidal after Cordy dumped him. Willow had performed a spell to help him get over her, but what they didn’t know was that Xander was not in love with Cordelia. She was just a great friend and a snarky bitch that he loved to trade barbs with. They had broken up amicably, but to increase Cordelia’s reputation they had made it seem like they had parted on bad terms.

The thing is… Xander had learned a month ago that he was gay. Cordy had found out and helped him through the ‘OH MY GOSH IM GAY’ phase. The boyfriend/girlfriend thing was just a nice cover. It kept the girls from knowing and Cordy got to have a breather from other boys. He wasn’t moping over Cordelia; he was moping over the fact that he didn’t have a boyfriend and he probably wouldn’t have one for a long, long time. Well, until high school was over at least.

Long story short the spell backfired and Xander ended up with a panther tail, pointy teeth (not vampire style) and cat ears. Oh yeah and every female that wasn’t a slayer wanted to jump his bones. This was not a good thing for the oh so very much gay Xander penis.

Xander ended up having to dress up in a costume. He was pretty sure that it wasn’t going to help any though. Maybe it would have if it was a huge coat, hat and nonsuspicious glasses, but currently he was dressed in tight brown leather pants and an open white shirt. He looked good. Too good. It could only mean bad things on this day.

“Are you sure Willow said that I should wear this?” Xander asked trying not to fidget in the leather pants.

Buffy licked her lips and nodded.

“Mmhmm” she mumbled absentmindedly. She reached up and stroked Xander’s chest. When did Xander turn from a scrawny gawky boy, to a muscle bound man like this? Maybe she shouldn’t have turned him down when she first came to town. Oh well, she had a better chance with him than Willow did right now. She even got him into this ‘costume’.

“Uh B-Buffy?” Xander stuttered as he saw the same look in her eyes that he had seen in Willow’s. He took a step back and her arm shot forward, halting his movements.

“Oh Xaaannddeerrr.” She purred.

Oh god.

Xander turned and ran. Thank god the cat features came with a physical upgrade. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to outrun a purring Buffy.

-time skip-

He hoped Giles found a way to break this spell soon. He had spent the last two hours hiding from the female population of Sunnydale. What made it worse was that female demons kept coming after him too!

Xander shuddered from his place on the ledge of an abandoned building.

So many tentacles.


Xander tensed when he heard the door opened and he jumped off the ledge and moved into the dark corner of the room. He eyed the new occupant warily. Wait. Was that Andrew? What the heck was he doing here? Xander decided to wait just a bit longer and see what was going on before making his presence known.

10 minutes later and Xander was sure he should have killed Andrew. The little geek cast a spell. A spell that would take him to any universe that he chose to go to. The moment Andrew had walked through the portal it spit him back out. It didn’t like him, but it did seem to like Xander. Some unseen force sucked him through before he could turn to run. Now it seemed like he was in limbo until the portal decided to let him go.

Huh? What’s that? Oh look at the pretty light. Xander needed to touch it. Come here pretty light. Xander ran after the light and the moment he touched it he was thrown into a room.

Xander grunted lightly as he landed on his feet. He turned as he heard a light gasp on his side.

There sitting on a large bed was a boy. Maybe 16 or so, pretty green eyes, unruly black hair, pink soft lips. The boy was pretty, so so very pretty.

Xander stalked toward the bed the boy’s eyes grew wider and wider. Aw how cute. He climbed onto the bed and the boy looked at him with those wide, pretty green eyes.

“Who are you?” the boy asked softly with an English accent. An English accent? Xander could work with that.

“Xander.” He purred and his chocolate brown eyes darkened when he saw the smaller boy shiver slightly.

“My-my name is Harry.”


Soft lips parted slightly and Xander licked his lips and eyed Harry hungrily. Xander couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was acting this way. Willow’s spell maybe?

He didn’t care.

Before Harry could gasp Xander had him pinned down to the bed, and absolutely ravaged his mouth. Lightly tanned arms wrapped around Xander, pulling him closer moaning into the kiss.

Xander groaned when Harry wrapped his legs around his waist as well.

Maybe this Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be so bad?

Hello everybody! I just wanted to get this up today because I wouldn’t have time tomorrow.

The End

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