Trucker Hats are cool...
I don't own a lot of things, save for video games, DVDs and other miscellaneous stuff I've picked up over the years. I don't own the rights to the characters or various intellectual properties mentioned in this story. This is fanfiction, and to quote a fun episode of 'Better off Ted'.... Deal with it.
“Oooh....” Xander said as he stared at the hat on the mannequin at 'Ethan's Costume Emporium' While not exactly what he wanted, it was close. Now he just needed a wig and some other things and he'd be set for tonight.
Ethan Rayne felt a small headache forming as he watched the male teen bounce up and down in glee.
There was something wrong that boy.
“Now where am I going to get acid washed jeans on short notice?” Xander asked himself.
Something was really wrong with that boy.
“Exactly who are you supposed to be, a male me with a terrible fashion sense?” Buffy asked her friend as he adjusted his wig's ponytail to go through the adjustable back of his hat.
“Nah.” Xander grinned. “I'm a famous video game character. The name's Bogard, Terry Bogard.”
“Right....” Buffy drawled. “Never heard of him.”
“Most famous character from the Fatal Fury franchise? Beat a god of war in the movie that came out a few years back?” Xander asked.
“Nope.” Buffy grinned.
“No respect.” Xander muttered. “Just no respect.”
“Hey, isn't that a line from Caddyshack or something?” Buffy asked him.
“Oh, that you've seen.” Xander said as he looked up to the ceiling. “Why? Why torture me like this?”
“Maybe you did something bad in a past life.” Buffy told him. “So buck up. I have to go check on Willow.”
“I so need male friends.” Xander sighed as he watched Buffy lift up the hem of her dress slightly so she walk up the stairs. “Or trashier female ones.” He said as Buffy vanished out of sight.
“I heard that.” Buffy called down.
“Stupid Slayer hearing.” Xander muttered.
“I heard that too!” Buffy called.
“Oh Hellmouth no.” Richard Wilkins the Third said as alarms and Klaxons started going off in his office. “Chaos mages are one thing, but energy adepts are a whole other kettle of fish.” He said as he went over to his 'control room' and started scrying to locate who his spells had alerted him to.
“Hmm... tricky.” He said to himself as he watched things play out in real time. “Well, either kill him or send him away. It worked for that pesky wandering Shaolin Monk when I first started out.... Yes. Let the spell do the work on where to banish him.”
Portals were tricky business, especially on top of the hellmouth. There were a lot ways to mess them up. If you added an extra syllable to the incantation which was mostly mumbling anyways and you could be in a whole world of trouble yourself.
Taking a deep breath Mayor Wilkins began the one hundred syllable chant required to banish the suddenly empowered teen.
“Burning Knuckle!” The blond man screamed as a corona of energy surrounded him before he was propelled forward by the energy like a rocket.
“Shit!” Spike screamed as he rolled to one side, hastily picking up a manhole cover to shield himself from the attack. He quickly ducked away from the man while throwing the slab of metal at him.
The blond man blocked the vampires attack but the metal plate on his hat was knocked off in the process, causing the original decal on the hat to be visible for the first time that evening.
On the center of the hat was the symbol for the Pokemon league, an icon from an up and coming video game and animated series.
Spike was about to make a snarky comment when a glowing blue portal opened up behind the transformed teen and swallowed him whole.
“Well... that was different.” Spike said to himself as he started searching his pockets for his pack of smokes, only to find them missing.
Now, he was mad. Someone had swiped his cigarettes! That was way more important than portals and upstart superpowered teens!
Nobody had nic fits like vampires had them.
“Oh man my head.” Xander said as he slowly came to. “What hit me last night?” He asked as he sat up.
“Where am I?” He asked as he looked around and finding himself in strange surroundings. He was in a cave of some sort, but it was nothing like the caves around Sunnydale. The stone here was smooth and dark, almost polished some how.
Xander continued to explore his surroundings as he walked towards the ever increasing source of light and fresh air.
Xander found that the cave was on the face of a cliff that overlooked a large, forested valley. It was... breathtaking.
Wherever he was, it wasn't Sunnydale.
/Greetings Traveler/ A voice said in his head.
“Gah!” Xander said as he jumped. It felt like someone was poking his brain! He quickly lost his footing and began to fall off of the small cave opening into the valley below, only to be caught by some unseen force.
Slowly, Xander was turned until he was facing an odd yellow demon holding what looked like a crude spoon.
/I am no demon, Traveler/ The same voice said in Xander's mind. /I am what my father was before me and his before him, a Pokemon./
“Pokewhatnow?” Xander asked.
/The last Traveler did not know of us either/ The yellow creature said. /My line learned much from his companionship over his lifetime. He helped us, I can help you./
“Awful kind of you.” Xander said as he was lowered to solid ground. “What are you?”
/My current stage of evolution is called Kadabra, but in honor of the Traveler who taught my ancestors I prefer the name Caine./ The Kadabra said.
“Caine.” Xander said. “Where am I?”
/Another world. A different reality. Somewhere far from your home/ Caine told him with a solemn nod. /Come, there is much that you need to be told./
Reluctantly, Xander followed the creature back into the cave.
He definitely wasn't in Kansas anymore.