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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR187074,13440986607,45716 Feb 1230 Oct 14No

Must... Bleach Brain!!

BTVS was created by Joss Whedon and produced by Mutant Enemy. Bleach and all characters involved were created by Tite Kubo and published by Shueisha Publishing Co.

“Sir we have a problem.” Ichimaru Gin said to his leader.

“Hmm?” Aizen said as he looked up from pondering the Hogyoku.

“Yes, it seems all of the male Espada are slowly being picked off.” Gin stated solemnly.

“Really?” Aizen said his interest piqued. “Why have I not heard of this before now?”

“They go out and they don't come back. While this isn't unusual, they usually tend to come back briefly or report in. They haven't.” Gin said.

“So they are either beginning to rebel, or they're dead.” Aizen summed up. “What of the females?”

“They're not saying anything but sir... it appears some of their holes are... diminishing.” Gin stated. “As I said, we have a problem.”

“Hmm.” Aizen said. “What could be causing this I wonder? Our surveillance should have picked something up that would be causing this.”

“No system is perfect.” Gin stated. “If it was we wouldn't be here.”

“Of that, I am aware.” Aizen said. “It looks like we'll have to see what the women are doing on their own time.”

“You know they won't like having their privacy invaded.” Gin stated. He remembered many times he was punished for even implied peeping back in Soul Society.

Hollow women were still women after all. Women you didn't want to piss off.

Elsewhere in Hueco Mundo.....

A sweaty and somewhat sated Tier Harribell relaxed in the unnaturally made hot spring. She caressed her Hollow Hole and was amazed that it had reduced in diameter by close to a quarter. “Amazing.”

“I try.” Xander said as he started to get his breath back. “You're pretty damaged.”

“I've been a Hollow for a long time.” Tier said. “What kind of Bankai is this anyways?”

“Well I don't really have any idea what other releases are like but I'm both a lover and a fighter and this kind of reflects on that. There was a song in my home reality. It was called 'Sexual Healing'” Xander said. “It's not the most useless of powers.”

“No. It isn't.” Tier agreed. “What happens when the mask falls off completely?”

“Well, you can ask Nelliel.” Xander said with a grin

“The one with the horse?” Tier asked.

“That isn't a horse, that's her Bankai.” Xander grinned. “She's a full on Shinigami now.”

“I do not wish to be a soul reaper.” Tier said with a hint of distaste.

“Fine, she's a soul that has a vast amount of spiritual energy. So much energy that part of her essence gained it's own awareness in the form of a sword.” Xander said with a shrug. “Power comes in many forms, for most of us, it's sort of a split personality.”

“I'm not crazy.” Tier snapped.

“So you're just a shark like woman because it's fun?” Xander teased.

“This is Hueco Mundo, we are what we are because we survived.” Tier told him.

“Hell is other people.” Xander said with a nod. “Though this isn't actually hell, it was turned into one through endless souls coming here causing each other to suffer.”

“I suppose.” Tier nodded. “I have to get back. My subordinates should be here shortly. You know what to do.”

Xander nodded and gave her a little salute as the woman left the waters of the hot spring. He was fortunate his Bankai used his 'opponent's' spiritual energy to heal them or he'd have killed himself already.

Still, it would be one heck of a way to go.

Now he just had to have a healing session with all three of Tier's female subordinates, ones so linked they shared a release in the form of a giant monster.

“No pressure.” Xander said to himself. “Rebellions are hard work.”

“Especially for your penis.” Dondochaka said as he handed Xander a drink.

“Were you standing there the whole time?” Xander asked the large headed Hollow.

“No.” Dondochaka said. “I actually spent most of the time hiding and drawing erotic images of what you were doing to that Espada.”

“For what?” Xander asked.

“It's a hobby.” Dondochaka said. “Seeing as how you won't 'heal' me or Pesche.”

“I don't swing that way and neither does Bob.” Xander shrugged. “Besides, neither you or Pesche need much healing to begin with.”

Dondochaka grinned. “True enough. So few of us retain our humanity here.”

“It's hard to be human in an inhuman world right?” Xander said as he sipped his drink.

“It can be.” Dondochaka agreed. “So about the other part of the.... 'plan'.”

“Is consuming the male Espada bringing you back to your former levels?” Xander asked.

“It is, but if we consume too many too quickly we could become like them.” Dondochaka said.

“Then pace yourselves.” Xander shrugged. “They find us, we don't hunt them. Remember that. We are not the aggressors, we are the defenders. If you lose sight of that, well you've lost sight of everything.”

“Truer Words.” Dondochaka said with a nod.

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