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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR187074,13440986608,07916 Feb 1230 Oct 14No

good eats Part 3

I am not related to Charles Addams and claim no ownership to his work and related characters, ditto goes for Buffy and friends... Hmmm... Ditto. That gives me an idea.... ;)


New Jersey....

“Grandma-Ma, you have a letter.” Wednesday Addams said as she calmly picked through the mail.

She was the one that went to the Post Office with Lurch to pick up the mail after the Postal Worker's Union declared their house a 'Do Not Deliver' zone. That being the case, she and Lurch went into town twice a week to pick up the mail.

“Oh?” Grandma-Ma Frump said as she looked up from her pot of stew. “Who from?”

“Your cousin, Annabelle.” Wednesday said as she handed over the letter.

“Hmm.” Grandma-Ma said as she broke the wax seal and started reading the letter. “Oh my. I didn't realize she was still trying to do this.”

“Do what?” Wednesday asked.

“Well, you have to understand that finding a good husband is really hard work for some of us.” Grandma-Ma said. “Not everyone is a lucky as your mother was in finding Gomez or Fester in finding Dementia. Both the Frumps and the Addams' chosen mates need to meet specific requirements otherwise... well they don't last.”

“I'm aware.” Wednesday said as she recalled her first boyfriend, Joel. He hadn't even survived the first party he'd attended.

“That is where Annabelle comes in. She's a matchmaker of sorts. Except she actually tries to make the matches as it were.” Grandma-Ma said. “She's been working on this one boy, a nice enough lad for a demon hunter. It seems he's progressing rather well. He's practically taken residence at the local Echidna House.”

“Really?” Wednesday asked. She'd been offered the chance to join that Sorority but declined for personal reasons.

Personally, she didn't need friends.

“Yes, there is some sort of 'witch-hunt' going on there and the girls are mostly sequestered in after dark. I suppose that could be a problem living on an active Hellmouth.” Grandma-Ma said.

“Wait. Demon Hunter on a Hellmouth? Are you talking about Pugsley's Pen Pal?” Wednesday wondered.

“Maybe.” Grandma-Ma said. “Stranger things have happened. Still, she included a rather nice sketch of the lad.”

Wednesday sighed at what her maternal grandparent's implication and reluctantly held out her hand for the drawing.

“Oh... my.” Wednesday said after staring at the drawing for a while. “Nice... detail.”

Grandma-Ma smiled knowingly before going back to her stew. It wasn't going to keep stirring itself after all.


“They grabbed Becky.” Were the first words Xander heard after answering his cell phone.

“Is everyone else safe?” Xander said stiffly into the phone as he did his best not to crush the fragile device in his hand.

“Yes. We've rounded everyone else up we can including Veruca and some of the independents.” The voice on the other line said.

“Lock the doors and raise the wards.” Xander ordered. “It's high time I did something about these... visitors.”

“Stay safe.” The voice said.

“You too.” Xander said before hanging up the phone and shutting it off. He took a few deep calming breaths before heading for his apartment. He was about to go into enemy territory and he had to look the part.

Lowell House....

“Hey, is the campus Film Club showing the 'Friday the Thirteenth' movies tonight?” Forrest asked his roommate Riley.

“No. I don't think they are, why?” Riley asked.

“Cause there is a dude dressed like Jason heading for our front door!” Forrest said before grabbing his sidearm.

“It could just be a prank!” Riley called before following Forrest.

It wasn't.

The learned that after their visitor knocked twice and in doing so, he knocked down the reinforced door meant to stand up to anti-tank weaponry.

The figure paused in entering the doorway as he reached into his pocket for a small tape player. He pressed the play button before setting it back in the top pocket of his coveralls.

'Ki Ki Ki Ma Ma Ma' started playing in a loop.

“Oh hell no!” Forrest said before he started shooting at the intruder.

The figure grunted as the bullets impacted, but they didn't slow him down. He entered the house, machete in hand and started swinging.

Things didn't get any better for the Black Ops team when they broke out the 'stunners'

Unlike the real Jason, this one could shoot electricity back at you.

Rhoades Hall...

Buffy and Willow both looked up as they first felt and then heard the explosion on campus.

“What was that?” Buffy asked.

“Dunno.” Willow shrugged. “Maybe one of the organic chemistry nuts tried making Meth again?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Like that is going to happen again. God could you imagine vampires on amphetamines? It'd be a nightmare.” She said as they headed outside.

“Did you hear? Lowell house just exploded! It must have been a gas leak or something.” One of the dorm's other residents said.

“Uh-oh.” Willow said before chasing after Buffy.

The woods near UC Sunnydale...

“Well that was fun.” Xander said as he set Becky the Dryad down.

“It certainly looked like it.” A voice said from nearby.

Xander and Becky turned and saw a fairly short girl about their age wearing a form fitting black dress. The girl looked vaguely familiar to Xander.

“Wednesday?” Xander ventured. Pugsley had sent him a few family snapshots about six months back.

“Yes.” Wednesday said as she approached the pair, her eyes glittering on the edge of madness, one of the key traits of being an Addams.

“Come on. Becky needs to get home and into some of her native soil.” Xander said making sure the girl's bare feet hadn't started taking root. “That or some shoes.” He said before picking the girl up bridal style.

“Hmm.” Wednesday said before following behind him. “Do you blow things up every night?”

“Nah. Just when I need to.” Xander said before shuddering a little and having a large bolt of electricity shoot out the top of his head towards the night sky. “Stupid military jerks and their zap guns.”

Wednesday just raised an eyebrow. Perhaps Uncle Fester had been adopted after all.

She had no idea her family member's project really was called 'The Fester Protocols' and that it had actually succeeded this time.

This time Hair and Sanity weren't mutually exclusive.
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