All you need is love....?
I don't own DC comics or the Warner Brothers who produced all of the DCAU cartoons as well as Teen Titans. I also don't own BTVS or Xander Harris.
I've been watching the DC Nation on Cartoon Network and the Teen Titans shorts made me realize how much I miss that show.
Here we go.....
“O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” Starfire sang as she busied herself in the kitchen of Titans Tower.
“Did she eat my cereal with Red Bull again?” Cyborg asked Robin as they watched their resident Tamaranean make....something.
“No. The fact that she's quoting 'The Jabberwocky' is a little worrisome.” Robin said with a shake of his head. “I don't know if she got that from the language download or she's been fighting the Mad Hatter in her off time.”
“What in Azeroth's name is going on out here?” Raven demanded as she stormed into the kitchen. “No.” She said as she recognized some of the energies coming from the kitchen. “Where did you learn a summoning ritual?”
“I had a dream. A most wonderful dream!” Starfire said before adding a pinch of Paprika to the now glowing pot on the stove. The pot started spewing pink smoke that quickly started to fill the kitchen.
“Ventilation! Now!” Robin ordered.
“That won't work.” Raven said as the smoke already started to harden. “I don't know how but she summoned something from beyond this world with simple everyday household ingredients. Thankfully, whatever she summoned is trapped.”
“Dude, it's.... a dude.” Beast Boy said as they stared at the summoned... thing encased in a hard pink substance.
“Wow. I'm good.” Starfire said with a grin.
“Who is he and where did he come from?” Raven demanded.
“I... don't know. In the dream I saw him hugging a woman with black eyes before the ground beneath them seemed to swallow them up. The woman was full of grief and rage while he was full of love. Something happened and a creature found them. One that trapped them and fed on his love.” Starfire said sadly as she put a hand up to the pink prison. “Almost everything was destroyed before being remade. He was one of the things that remained.”
“Wait...pink and love....” Robin trailed off. “Starfire you didn't.”
“What didn't I do?” Starfire asked.
“It can't be possible.” Robin muttered. “It can't.”
“What?” Beast Boy asked. “What?”
“I need to contact...Him.” Robin said. “He can find out if this is what I think it is.”
“What is it?” Cyborg asked.
“It might be the power source of the Star Sapphires.” Robin said. “If it is, we could be in a whole lot of danger.”
Raven's eyes glowed softly as she stared at the man in the pink crystal “Guys... I think he's still alive.”
“Something... is very wrong.” Wonder Woman said as she stared out at the heavens. “It's like something has been taken from the very essence of the universe.”
“I just got word from the Guardians.” John Stewart said as he came into the meeting room. “The Core of the Star Sapphire homeworld is dead. Someone removed the Source.”
“Yeah... we're boned aren't we?” The Flash asked.
“Maybe.” Batman said as his earpiece chirped. “I've got a call.” He said before tapping his ear. “Robin? She did what? It's a what? You're certain? No. You were right to call. No matter the consequence, he can't go back.”
“Starfire really summoned the Source?” Superman asked. “And it's human?”
Batman just stared at Superman.
“Eavesdropping. Right. Sorry.” Superman said.
“It appears to be human.” Batman said, not really accepting the apology. “Robin and Cyborg are running a DNA panel now to be sure.”
“But the source of the Sapphires has been around far longer than the human race has existed.” John Stewart said. “How is that possible?”
“We're the Justice League. We do seven Impossible things before breakfast.” The Flash joked.
“So... what do we do?” John Stewart asked.
“Make sure he wakes up slowly. If he is the source of the Star Sapphire's power... then we may be dealing with someone that could destroy all of us.” Batman said.
“Did somebody get the number of the truck that hit me?” The man groaned as he sat up slowly.
“You speak English. That is.... odd.” A somewhat deep but feminine voice said from off to his left.
“Who are you?” The man asked as he stared at the oddly dressed teen. “Where is Willow? We have to stop her, she'll raise the temple if we don't!”
“You've been trapped in crystal since the beginning of this universe.” The girl said. “The world as you know it is long gone.”
“Great.” the man sighed. “Just great. You try and stop your best friend from ending the world and you end up in a different one. Typical.” He snorted.
“It sounds like you lived an interesting life.” the girl said. “I'm Raven.”
“Well Raven No-Last Name, my name is Xander No Middle Name Harris.” The man said with a grin. “So the universe got rebooted huh? Typical. This place still rampant with various demons and the like right? I can practically smell the demon blood in you.”
“No.” Raven said harshly. “Demons don't run rampant. I am... a rarity.”
“Oh, that's good I guess.” Xander said. “So how did I get here?”
“You were summoned.” Raven said. “One of my...friends had a dream. She somehow managed to summon you from one end of this universe to the other. Where you were at.... you were the source of power for an entire corp of energy users.”
“I was... what a battery?” Xander asked, perplexed.
“Sort of. There was a parasite of some sort that fed off of your...love. The people used the energy from that parasite.” Raven explained. “It's still not entirely clear. Until recently, we didn't know there was more than one of them.”
“Crap.” Xander sighed. “So what happens now?”
“We determine if you are a threat.” Raven stated.
“I don't feel like a threat.” Xander shrugged. “But then again, I'm new here.”
“Just stay calm when the others come. We don't know if you can do anything yet. If you can and you react violently...” Raven cautioned.
“Threats have to be put down.” Xander said flatly. “I know how it goes. I used to hunt demons in my free time.”
“I'm not a demon.” Raven told him.
“No. You're not. But you're linked to one.” Xander said. “Parent?”
“There's a prophecy.” Raven sighed.
“There's always a prophecy.” Xander snorted. “Just ignore it. The more you fight it, the more you help it.”
Raven just stared at him.
“What? Prophecies suck.” Xander said as he stared directly at the wall opposite him.
Just outside the room....
“He's not normal.” Raven said to Batman as she left the room. “He was a demon hunter in his reality.”
Batman nodded as he and Martian Manhunter entered the medical bay. They had an interview to commence.
“What are you doing?” Beast Boy asked Xander as he came into the kitchen.
“Makin' Waffles.” Xander said. “I've got a hankering. Apparently I haven't had one in like...forever.”
“Oh.” Beast Boy said. “Neat.”
“It'll be neater once I make some bacon.”
“Dude, that's meat!” Beast Boy said.
“I know!” Xander grinned. “I love meat.”
“Well I don't.” Beast Boy said. “I turn into all sorts of animals.”
“So stick with predators. They're the more useful ones anyways.” Xander shrugged. “Shape shifter or not, you're still human and thus an Omnivore. Deal with it.”
“Whatever.” Beast Boy muttered.
“Bacon.... warm bacon...” Xander sing-songed. “You know you want some.”
“Did someone say bacon?” Starfire asked as she burst into the kitchen. “I am overjoyed to have such delectable meats for a second breakfast.”
“See, she isn't even human and she gets it.” Xander grinned. “Guess this is where my brief stint as a short order cook is going to come in handy.”
“You were a short order cook?” Raven asked as she and the rest of the Titans entered the kitchen.
“Short order cook, ice cream truck driver, bartender, phone sex operator and of course, construction worker and foreman.” Xander said with a grin. “You guys are pretty self sufficient but you could still use a den mother of sorts. I don't really have an identity here or any real credentials so I figure I can help out around the Tower.”
“You aren't answering the phones.” Raven told him.
“Fair enough.” Xander grinned. “So how old are you guys anyways?”
“Old enough.” Cyborg told him with a hint of a glare.
“Gotcha.” Xander said with a nod. “As a wise man once said....'Nuff Said.'”
“Who would say that?” Robin asked.
“Doesn't matter. You wouldn't know him.” Xander grinned before he started laughing maniacally.
“He's... not all there is he?” Starfire whispered to Raven.
“You're the one that summoned him.” Raven shrugged.
Some time later....
Jump City's Megamart.....
“Hmm.” Xander said as he stared at the paring knives and some of the other kitchen utensils. He'd been given a prepaid money card and told to go shopping for the Tower. He was actually having a pretty good time. After a few weeks he'd been 'trusted' with leaving the Tower alone.
“This is a robbery!” Someone shouted near the front of the store.
Xander sighed before wandering to the front of the store. It was an incredibly attractive woman with a shotgun.
“Huh.” Xander said as he looked her over. “What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?”
“Robbing it.” The statuesque redhead smirked. “Though I could be persuaded to do... other things.”
Xander's eyes started glowing pink. “Go on.” He said with a hint of a leer.
“A meta.” The woman grinned. “Good.” She said as she lowered her shotgun. “I've been looking for some fun in this city.”
“Really?” Xander asked. “You know this town's protected right?”
“Yeah, but they're kinda young.” The woman said. “You look to be just right.”
“What's your name anyways?” Xander asked as the Police started to surround the shopping center.
“Knockout.” The woman smirked.
“Well you certainly are.” Xander said before the woman tossed him over her shoulder.
“I try.” Knockout told him. “What's the fastest way out of here?”
“Well depending on how you want to go, I'd say roof access if you can jump.” Xander told her.
“Sounds like a plan.” Knockout said. “Don't try to escape. I'd hate to drop you.”
“Don't worry.” Xander said. “I'm familiar with being the kidnap victim.”
“You from Metropolis or something?” Knockout asked.
“Nah.” Xander said. “Somewhere else.”
“You're confined to the tower.” Robin said as he and the others glared at Xander.
“It's not my fault!” Xander protested. “She kidnapped me! Not the other way around.”
“The two of you managed to destroy thousands of dollars worth of public property.” Raven said flatly.
“Well sorry.” Xander said sarcastically. “I finally get laid for the first time in this dimension and you all get mad at me.”
“You destroyed fifteen acres of land and a fountain in the process!” Robin shouted.
“She's from Apokolips.” Xander said. “They don't 'do' normal.”
“It's also on YouTube.” Cyborg said.
“What's YouTube?” Xander asked as he scratched his head.
Robin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can this day get any worse?”
“Does this mean I shouldn't tell you that Knockout was planning on telling some of her friends about me?” Xander asked.
Raven turned to Starfire. “I blame you for this.”
“Destruction of land isn't normal during Snu-Snu?” Starfire asked as she scratched her head. “Landscaping afterward is supposed to be half the fun!”
“Hers is a strange culture.” Cyborg said to Beast Boy.
“Not any stranger than some of the folks we know.” Beast Boy shrugged.
“Name one.” Cyborg said before pausing.. “Besides us.”
“Aquaman.” Beast Boy said. “Him and his tales of adventure.”
“Okay, name two.” Cyborg said.