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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR187074,13440986607,90216 Feb 1230 Oct 14No

A possible future leader of america?

AN: This is a oneshot side story of my 'leaderverse' stuff I've put in here. This is a possible future, but not a definite one.

Avengers Mansion.....

“So tell me how it happened.” Steve Rogers said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did.” Jennifer Walters said with a sigh. “Really.”

“You always have had some impulse control issues.” Steve said with a small nod. “It was a bad idea, but you went ahead anyways.”

“Yeah.” Jennifer said quietly. “I.... we did.”

“Tell me.” Steve said quietly.

“The kid had been here for a few months. He'd been getting regular treatment from both the SHIELD headshrinks and Sampson. Short of either pumping him full of Estrogen or castration, he was about as tame as he could be in that department.” Jennifer said with a sigh. “So the girls and I decided to... test his control. It was only a matter of time before his weakness was leaked and someone took advantage of it anyways.” Jennifer explained. “Can you imagine someone like Titania or Sin or Madam Hydra having him at their beck and call?”

“You're pushing it with putting Titania in with that grouping.” Steve said with a hint of a glare.

“She's my nemesis.” Jennifer shrugged. “So I decided to test him to see if he could stay in control when did his own version of 'hulking out'.”

“Meaning you wanted to have sex with him.” Steve said.

“Yeah.” Jennifer said. “I was lucky that he calmed down when we landed in the river Bruce teleported us to when we first met, but after getting to know him I figured... why not?”

“And now you know why not.” Steve said as he finished his coffee. “You've singlehandedly done more damage to the Avengers than most villains.”

“I didn't mean for it to happen Steve, I really didn’t think it would go as far as it did.” Jennifer said with a bit of a growl.

“Still.” Steve said. “You're pregnant, Ms. Marvel's pregnant, Tigra's already popped her kid out and Rogue has absorbed enough of Xander's powers that she's eight feet tall, permanently green, perpetually horny and according to Galactus has 'The Best Cans in the Universe'.”

“We thought she could stop him?” Jennifer said sheepishly. “Or at least give the rest of us a break.”

“Instead they went at it for four days straight before someone suggested driving a Hostess truck past them.” Steve said with a shake of his head. “Bad press all around.”

“Well, on the plus side, it's made the President change his policy towards Abstinence based Sex Education. Also Reed started working with Trojan to start making condoms treated with unstable molecules so this doesn't happen again.” Jennifer said. “It also got Reed to design the supercooled pants Xander wears now.”

“Those aren't really very good pluses.” Steve countered.

“What about Trish Tilby's best seller?” Jennifer said. “That has to count for something.”

“Fifty Shades of Green is almost pure smut and is a highly debated book.” Steve said. “I know for a fact that some of the more conservative states want it banned for sale let alone in their libraries. I also know that Trish didn't write it alone. I'm pretty sure Beast was her editor.”

“Hank has his hobbies.” Jennifer grinned.

“Let's not get started on the what the Male Avengers did after the incident. Wonder Man is off the team until he stops working in the Porn Industry doing the hero parodies.” Steve almost growled.

“Umm... guys?” Tony Stark said as he popped his head into the kitchen. “There's a strange woman outside claiming to be the daughter of Galactus. She said she's here looking for the perpetual energy source her father told her about.”

“Then there's that.” Steve said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is this what a stroke feels like?” He asked aloud.

“I get it.” Jennifer said. “I can't really fit into the outfit anymore anyways, but no more sexy car washes.”

“Damn right.” Steve said before heading outside to deal with the latest problem caused by Leviathan's (AKA Xander Harris) libido.

At least they didn't end up calling him Rager or Trouser Snake.

Maybe they would go through with the insane plan Namor had to shoot him into space. Just on the off Chance Leviathan ever 'bumped' into Namorita.

Time would tell.

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