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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR187074,13440986608,30016 Feb 1230 Oct 14No

Paradox or Pair of twins? (continuing Love)

I don't own Buffy or The Bat. Many thanks to Bruce Timm and company and of course
props to Will Friedle who is still voice acting instead of regular acting. i'm considering doing a thundercats short sometime.

In the World of Tomorrow!.... I mean the future....

It had started with a shared dream between the two of them. Snippets of time where they had been more and less than they were now. They had a power that made sure they would never be outnumbered by their enemies. A power that had made up for the unexpected death one of them had suffered.

After a fair amount of research the realized the dream was actually an alternate timeline that had been erased. With good reason when you considered the remaining sister had gone a little psychotic.

Still... they wanted that power again so they started doing some research on ways to get it.

Splicing in the needed meta-gene was tricky so they had opted for a less... traditional route.

Magic was not exactly their specialty so they had contracted out as it were.

“The power you have requested is yours.” Their hire said with a grin.

“Thank you Klarion.” The twin Dee-Dees said in unison.

“Now about my fee....” Klarion said with a grin as he walked a circled around the twin granddaughters of Harley Quinn. “Hmm... what could cause the most chaos without attracting the Bat's attention?....” He mused. “Oh yes. A little temporal displacement sounds like a good idea since it was what caused your request in the first place.”

“We don't want to travel in time. Not after the last timeline.” Delia said.

“Oh, you won't be.” Klarion said with a grin as a he conjured one large portal in front of the girls and a much smaller one behind them that went unnoticed.....

The Present..... or the Past depending on your point of view.... Stupid Temporal mechanics.....

“Ooh! Ooh!” Xander said from the roof as a glowing hourglass shaped portal opened in front of Titans Tower. “What is that?”

“Stay here.” Robin ordered Xander as the rest of the Titans went down to examine the portal.

“Okay.” Xander said as he lowered the lid on the grill he was using to make burgers. He could wait for whatever it was to pass. He just hoped the group would be back before everything got burnt to hell.

As the Titans were examining the strange portal, a smaller one opened up directly underneath Xander.

“Shit!” Xander said as he was sucked downward, spatula still in hand.

Meanwhile at the bottom of Titan's Tower.....

The Titans looked upwards as they heard Xander swear and back at the portal as it vanished out of sight.

“Okay... new plan.” Robin said after a moment. “We find out what that was and get him back here. We can't have people summoning our summon.”

“It just isn't done.” Raven said with a nod.

The Future.....

Xander just stared at the two women who were facing away from him. Whoever they were, they had his attention since he could tell they were twins wearing hotpants and tube tops. Something that had been a fetish of his since he once saw Amy Yip wear it at a waterpark.

“You didn't summon anything.” One the twins said and Xander's attention was transferred to the person they were speaking to. He remembered the person from the files that the Titans had. Klarion was one of the people he was supposed to avoid. Something about chaos multiplying chaos.

“Oh I did.” Klarion said with a grin. “Have fun. The warehouse is sealed until the morning.”

“What did he mean by that?” One of the twins wondered.

“I think he was talking to me.” Xander said from behind the two, causing them to jump up and turn around.

“Who are you?” The Dee Dees asked in unison.

“Clowns... attractive clowns...” Xander grunted. “Brain in conflict.” He said as his eyes started to have a pink glow to them.

“Think he's here to fight us?” One of the sisters asked.

“With a spatula?” the Other scoffed. “Not even the Bat is that stupid.”

“I'm a lover, not a fighter.” Xander said as his eyes glowed brighter.

“Klarion wouldn't.” One of the sisters said.

“Wouldn't he?” The other asked. “Let's see if he really kept his end of the bargain.” She said before slapping her hands together, causing her to twin herself.

“Triplets.” Xander said as his whole body was surrounded with a pink aura.

The other sister did the same and twinned herself as well. All four were in fighting stances as Xander gripped his spatula tightly. “Multiply with impact huh?” Xander grinned. “Let the spanking begin!”

“Uh-oh.” the Twins and their duplicates said as they had a bad feeling about this....

The Past.....

“Hang on... I think I've got him.” Raven said as she concentrated her power and pulled.

“You got him!” Starfire said as a portal opened and Xander spilled out of it.

“He's naked.” Beast Boy said as he covered his eyes.

“Not entirely.” Robin said. “He's covered in smeared greasepaint.”

“How did that happen?” Cyborg asked as he tried to purge his RAM and short term memory as he looked away from Xander.

“I'm a trained detective and I honestly don't want to figure this one out.” Robin said with a shudder.

“The future is awesome.” Xander muttered in his sleep as Starfire poked him in the forehead with a finger.

“I'll get him some pants.” Raven said as she got up from where she had been chanting.

“Good idea.” Beast Boy, Robin and Cyborg said together.


“Well?” Robin asked over the noise of the shower.

“I need more soap!” Xander called. “And maybe a therapist!”

“We've already got someone on the way.” Robin told him. “I thought you said the Future was awesome?”

“It is!” Xander said. “Just I'm having some cognitive dissonance. I've got two really conflicting ideas in my head right now.”

“Clowns and sex?” Robin asked, making a reasonable guess.

“Exactly.” Xander said. “I hate clowns, but the things those girls could do. I've been around the block, but they could do things I hadn't even thought of before. It was like they were working from a new book of sex or something.”

“If you say so.” Robin said with a shudder. He really didn't want to know what Xander considered 'new'.

The Future....

“Hey, check this out!” Delia called to her sister as she opened up one of their favorite books that they had snatched from their grandmother's library ages ago.

“Oh my god, it's him!” Deidre said as she stared at the author's picture on the inside of the dust-jacket. “We slept with A.L. Harris! He wrote the book on sex!”

“I guess we helped.” Delia said as she looked at the dedication and it made much more sense now.

“Schway.” Deidre said with a grin. “Think we could summon him again?”

“Maybe. But later.” Delia said. “Let's go tease the Bat a little first.”

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