Manhattan in Manhattan Madness....
I Don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer/The X-Men or any characters from Watchmen. This is fanfiction. Something I'm a pretty big fan of.
Continuation of the last chapter....
Nick Fury sighed as he finished looking over the gathered Intel. Intel that had been three months of headaches and hard work to gather. Now he just had to actually get the bastards to listen to the briefing.
That would take a miracle.
Conference Room Alpha, Shield Helicarrier
30 minutes later.....
“First and foremost, I would like to thank all of you for attending this session. We are here to discuss the potential problem that is Alexander Lavelle Harris... a.k.a. Dr. Manhattan and to some, Thunderpants.” Nick Fury addressed the room. The last nickname causing Tony Stark to giggle softly.
“Each of you have been given a folder that details all that is known about this individual since his first arrival in our reality three months ago.” Fury said as everyone present opened the folders in front of them.
“How is he blacklisted from every legal casino on the planet when he's only eighteen?” Was Captain America's fist question after skimming the file.
“Better question.” Tony Stark chipped in. “How is sex a superpower?”
“I'll get to those.” Fury said. “Please save any and all questions until after I've finished.”
The rest around the table nodded while Stark looked more than a little impatient.
“All right Harris first appeared in Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in the Girl's Dormitory wing. He has since been associated with Kitty Pryde of the X-Men and Illyana Rasputin of the New Mutants. While he is documented as an eighteen year old, his true age is unknown. Any and all things he does with those girls has happened in different states where the age of consent is lower than it is in New York. That avenue has been closed to us.”
“Kid covers his tracks.” Logan muttered.
“He knows the law. He filled out all of the appropriate paperwork for inter-dimensional travelers and received a visa within his first week here.” Fury explained. “The fact that he's from an alternate Earth and an American ensures his right to not be deported from his 'parallel' homeland.”
“I didn't even know we had paperwork like that.” Tony Stark said. “Did anyone know we had that?”
“He found out.” Fury said. “Aside from being able to split into five identical and equally powerful copies of himself, he doesn't need to sleep. One of his bodies has been.... busy learning everything he can about this world. Including its laws. He's been one step ahead of all the red tape that we can throw at him. Which brings up all of his known superpowers.”
“He has what we call Multipresence. He is capable of being in multiple places in once. Think of Jamie Maddrox but on a smaller scale. He has the power to teleport both himself and an indeterminate amount of mass long distances. The full scope of this ability has not been determined just yet. Due to this ability, he as started a weekend only moving company he calls 'Blue guy, no truck.'”
“That's crazy.” Captain America said.
“It isn't.” Fury said with a shake of his head. “As long as the appointments are booked appropriately he manages to pack, move and unpack ten apartments a day. He also charges some of the lowest rates out there. Which brings up another of his powers, telekinesis.”
“Kid can lift some heavy stones, and I don't mean his balls.” Logan muttered.
“He can also shake the Hulk like a maraca.” Bruce Banner said as he adjusted his glasses.
“Again the scope of that power hasn't been fully determined.” Fury said. “From what we've all seen of him in action, I don't think any of us want to make him our enemy.”
“Indeed.” Thor said, remembering exactly what the teen had done to his brother Loki.
Thor would never look at shoelaces the same way again.
“Another of his abilities, like that of both Molecule Man and the Silver surfer is the transmutation of matter. He can literally turn guns into butter if he chooses. He is also capable of restoring objects to their original state. You're all aware of his 'donation' to the New York Public Library system when he went around the five Burroughs and restored every book to their original pristine conditions. He then did the same with the wiring, the plumbing and the heating of each library.” Fury said. “Which brings up his weekday business, 'Joe Fix-it's Repair Emporium.'
“Where if you can fit it through the door, I can fix it.” Tony Stark quoted the commercial.
“Magical doohickeys need not apply.” Thor added.
“Yeah.” Stark nodded. “He does have that sign up in his shop. He's next to that Tailor you use.”
“Indeed.” Thor said.
“Where did he even get the capital to buy that place anyways? Transmuting gold has a whole slew of issues.” Stark asked.
“He received a personal loan from Emma Frost.” Fury said flatly, causing Logan to groan.
“Not her.” Logan sighed.
“I still haven't heard how sex is one of his superpowers.” Tony Stark said as he crossed his arms. “I really want to know how that happened and how it's in the file.”
“Harris is a precog.” Logan said. “His perception of time is... fuzzy. He can see multiple possible futures at the same time but it's limited to about five minutes. Because of that he voluntarily had himself banned from casinos and any form of legal gambling. He proved his point at the State Lottery Office by winning on all the possible winning scratchers they provided him with to test his claims.”
“How is that a sexual superpower?” Stark asked. “Wait... Nevermind. I just got it.”
“We learned of that aspect after we sent one of our own agents in to gather some intel on him. Agent Hill didn't respond to communications after three days so we teleported her back to base. After being treated for moderate dehydration she escaped and went back for what she called 'round seventeen'.” Fury said with a shake of his head. “She escaped three more times before we were able to get her in secure isolation and away from him long enough for it to mostly pass.”
“Love is a Battlefield.” Thor said with a nod.
“Oh come on.” Tony Stark muttered. “Pat Benetar? Really?”
“Currently we have three Life Model Decoys working at his shop acting as cashiers and his appointment maker. I'm fairly certain he knows what they are and doesn't care. He's pretty much a walking god anyways. I think everyone knows what he did to Doom when the man tried to siphon his power.”
Everyone nodded. The media had termed the incident as 'The Emperor has no clothes' since Harris had disintegrated all of Doom's armor except for his mask and left the man duct-taped to a streetlight.
It was still a popular piece of footage on the internet. Even after Doom had created a virus to remove it from all of the computers on the planet. Someone had saved it to a thumb drive and it was back up on the net in record time.
“So what is the purpose of this meeting?” Captain America asked.
“Mainly, it's me telling you all to leave him the hell alone. Also, if you want his help ask nicely.” Fury said. “He pays his taxes and if what I've heard recently is true, he has over thirty pilots in production over at Fox Studios.”
“Dear god, thirty?” Tony Stark said. “Alternate reality... right.”
“Exactly. He's already made sure to try and cast the dimensional counterparts of the original actors if he can and don't even get me started on what he's been doing with the typewriters he's been buying.” Fury said. “Like I said, don't piss him off. In a few months he might be richer than Stark is.”
“What about him and Emma Frost?” Logan asked. “You know she's bad news.”
“Not lately.” Fury shrugged. “She's turned over most of the information she has on the Hellfire Club and even helped take down Shaw. Apparently Harris managed to use his dick to dislodge the stick up her ass.” Fury surmised.
Logan and Tony nodded while a few of the others winced at the man's crude language.
“I think I will politely ask him to not encase the Hulk in a sphere of Jello the size of Epcot Center again.” Bruce Banner said. “It may have worked but I had that stuff in my ears for days!”
“My brother still fears.... the Aglet.” Thor said softly.
Everyone at the table shuddered at the images that brought up.
“Is there any way we send him back to his home dimension?” Tony asked.
“No. Believe me, we've tried. They don't want him back.” Fury said. “If you think he can cause damage here, you don't want to know what he did in his home plane before they booted him out and limited his power.”
“Like what exactly?” Logan asked.
“His home realm is part of a chess game involving multiple dark forces against very few light ones.” Fury explained. “He tipped the entire board over in the night he became what he is now.”
“Bad?” Tony asked.
“Massacres in multiple cities. Demon and humans alike were slain in the blink of an eye. Granted the humans were mostly lawyers, but still.” Fury said with a shrug.
“So... we wouldn't like him when he's angry.” Bruce Banner surmised.
“What he said.” Thor agreed.
“So let's not give him a reason to be.” Fury said. “I've made sure some of this information has been leaked to HYDRA among some other groups. Hopefully common sense will prevail on this one.”
“Like that's going to happen.” Tony Stark snorted.
“We're doomed.” Bruce Banner sighed. “If anyone needs me, I'll be busy trying to tame my Angry Man. The last thing I need is to throw a tantrum around a guy who can disassemble my molecules.”
“I may stop by that shop of his some time.” Tony mused. “I've got enough antiques that could use repairs. It's pretty fascinating to watch him disassemble things and put them back together. Wonder if I could get him to look at my Dad's old hover car.”
“And we've lost them.” Fury sighed.
“I still want to shoot the kid.” Logan growled. “The rumor mills at the school are still in full swing because of the girls dating him.”
“Doesn't Xavier preach about understanding and tolerance?” Fury smirked.
“There's tolerance and understanding, but I'll never see eye to eye with someone nailing one of my kids, surrogate or otherwise.” Logan snarled.
“Wow. Never took you for the 'get away from my daughter' type.” Fury laughed. “Shoe's on the other foot now isn't it?”
“Aw... shaddup.” Logan muttered.