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Ficlet(s)

Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR186770,02439884529,51416 Feb 1217 Jun 14No

Xander, Minion to a... different Vampire.

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and company or Vampirella. She was created by Forrest J. Ackerman and is currently owned by Dynamite Entertainment.

This is fanfiction and not intended to be taken seriously or published for profit.


An: Been on a bit of '90's kick lately and remembered watching a live action Vampirella movie from back in the day. That and I found an interesting comic book cover on Deviantart.com called 'Archie meets Vampirella.' Pretty amusing.



Oxnard California, Summer of 1999.....

“Two more weeks and I can afford to get back to Sunnyhell.” Xander Harris muttered to himself as he carefully went in the worker's entrance of 'The Fabulous Ladies Nightclub' a strip joint that shared a parking lot with a club of the opposite variety next door to it. He'd made the mistake of entering the wrong back door one time and he was still sporting a few bruises from the incident.

Still, he'd gotten a few phone numbers out of it once things had been cleared up. Which was part of the reason why he still had two weeks of work before he could head back home. Dates were expensive. There were doubly expensive when he went out with Candy and Carmella at the same time.

Not that he minded much.

He was all settled for a quiet night of clearing tables and washing dishes when everyone heard the firetrucks pass by.

“Any idea what the story on that is?” Xander asked Steve, his boss and the club's owner. It was the middle of summer so it was still wildfire season in this part of California.

“Some meteor crashed in the nearby forest. They're still trying to contain the blaze.” His boss told him. “If word comes down to evacuate, I'll let you know.” Steve promised. “My insurance doesn't cover accidental death due to that type of fire.”

“You're so kind boss.” Xander snorted.

“Hey, I still haven't made you get up on stage yet.” Steve countered. “Paul is still out with a sprained ankle so I've been filling in. Just be glad I'm on the Atkins Diet or it would be your ass up there as Cowboy Jim.”

“Gotcha.” Xander said with a nod. “So... tonight is amateur night again right?”

“Every Wednesday, here and next door.” Steve nodded. “One of the few things me and my Ex agreed to maintain after the divorce. You thinking about getting up there this time?”

“Nah. Just wondering cause I think we've got someone who's gotten the two clubs confused.” Xander said as he nodded at the front door.

Both men stared at the dark haired beauty wearing knee high black leather boots and red sling suit with a white collar.

“Damn.” Steve whispered. “Times like this I wish I still owned the other club too.”

The woman looked around and stared at Xander as if she was peering into his very soul.

“You.” She said in accented English. “You're coming with me.”

“You heard the lady Boss.” Xander said with a shrug. “Sick day?”

“You only get one.” Steve sighed. “Have fun kid. Don't do anything crazy without a prenup first.”

“Hey, I'm Xander.” Xander said as he introduced himself to the strange woman as they made their way towards the parking lot. The sun was still setting so he knew she wasn't a vampire.

“Tell me all you can about the demons of this world.” The woman ordered.

Xander looked at the woman and then at the fire in the distance. “You're not from around here are you?”

“No. I'm not.” The woman admitted. “You are the closest mind that has knowledge of vampires and demons that isn't just from books or... movies. Tell where they are.” She said.

“Why?” Xander asked.

“Because I'm hungry.” The woman said as she smiled and showed off a little fang.

“Oh.” Xander said quietly. “Well... let's see what we can scrounge up huh?” Xander said nervously. He really didn't want to be dinner to this weird demon lady.

Twenty minutes and five drained and dead vampires later....

“Better.” The woman said with a smirk as she licked her blood stained lips. “The trip took a lot out of me.”

“Where are you from exactly?” Xander asked her. He'd never heard of a vampire that fed off of other vampires like this. Giles would have definitely mentioned something like her.

“I'm from what you'd call Outer Space.” The woman told him. “By the way, even when you're terrified you have a very dirty mind. Did you know that?”

“Shit. You're a telepath aren't you?” Xander whispered. “That's how you found me.”

“Among other things.” The woman said with a smirk. “I could use a companion and guide on this world.” She said as she approached him. “What do you say?”

“What's your name?” Xander said as the woman started rubbing against his back.

“Vampirella.” She whispered into his ear as she started to undo his belt.

“Nice to meet you.” Xander said before yelping “Hands!”

It was the start of a very odd friendship....

She is the last surviving member of a dying planet, sent to our world in search of a place to call home.

He is a man that could never say no to a pretty face or a pair of prominent breasts.

They are Vampirella and The Zeppo.

They fight crime.
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