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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR186770,02439884539,95416 Feb 1217 Jun 14No

One way to become and Ex-X-Man

I do not own Marvel Comics or Buffy the vampire Slayer. This is a work of fanfiction and not intended to be published or reproduced for profit.
'Nuff Said.

AN: This one is kind of dark with implied rape involved in the storyline. You've been warned.



Westchester, New York....

Life at the X-Mansion had always been unusual, but things had taken a slight turn to the weird once a new extra-dimensional traveler had shown up.

His name was Xander Harris and he been booted to this dimension after a not-so brief stint with the eXiles. A group a few people of the various X-Teams were more than familiar with.

He didn't really have any noticeable powers and more than a few times people wondered what he exactly did during his time as a dimension hopping 'fixer'.

That was until Hank McCoy and Bobby Drake started to prank him.

Shortly after that things.... escalated.

The pranks quickly ramped up in speed and complexity. While it was never directly proven, a lot of people started comparing Xander to Arcade on a shoestring budget. He was no longer allowed in any supply closet, the garage or anywhere near the spices kept in the kitchen.

That however did not stop the pranking.

Things however ended up going rather badly for Xander when a joint effort was rallied against the dimensional traveler.

They left him lightly sedated inside a locker in the women's locker room shortly before locking the doors while all of the female telepaths were inside and using the facilities after a day lounging at the outdoor swimming pool.

Needless to say the noise generated by the women finding themselves locked inside of the locker room was enough to wake Xander up.



Later, in Charles Xavier's Office.....

“The sheer amount of the effort involved in this so called 'prank' is nothing short of miraculous.” Professor Xavier said as he began his rather stern lecture.

“The incorporation of technology from three different alien races to prevent people from getting in or getting out, let alone limiting all form of telepathy to just receiving and broadcasting thoughts... While I am loathe to criticize such impressive teamwork, you went too far.” Professor Xavier said. “While I know which of you did what, I still want you to actually admit it to them. Most them are incredibly angry with you all.”

“What exactly happened?” Scott asked softly. He'd seen the first five minutes of video and couldn't take any more.

“His thoughts got away from him.” Charles said softly. “Even after he had Frost physically knock him out, it was too late. Once they got started... it didn't stop until the prank ended.”

“Have the physicals yielded any... results?” Hank McCoy asked.

“Yes.” Charles said with a sigh. “Betsy is pregnant. Congratulations everyone, you've made your friends and teammates rape someone. Someone who considered himself a friend to you all. I expect all of you to apologize and not be around here for a while so they can recover.”

The men involved in the prank bowed their heads in shame as they left the room.

A door hidden behind one of the bookcases in the office opened and Xander Harris stepped out.

“They buy it?” Xander asked him.

“They did.” Charles Xavier told him. “Rather dark prank though.”

“Just be glad I was able to go to a different 'happy place or that simulation could have happened for real.” Xander said with a sigh. “I think I need to leave the mansion before they learn the real truth.”

“Are you leaving or.... leaving?” Charles asked.

“Just the mansion. My reality is way on the other side of the lattice. Even if I were to get back to the centerpoint it'd be a shot in the dark since that part of the navigation got lost.” Xander told him. “Think Avengers West has an opening for a 'fixer'?”

“Just as long as your work isn't of the permanent variety, you'll do fine.” Charles said. “About Betsy....”

“She proposed.” Xander shrugged. “I'm not saying no to a woman that can peel my brain like an onion.”

“Fair point.” Charles agreed. “So... in your travels, did you ever come across an earlier timeline similar to this one?”

“A few times. Why?” Xander asked him.

“I still haven't been able to figure out who used an Electrolysis Ray on me.” Charles said as he rubbed his bald head. “I made many enemies in my youth and most of which went into what you call 'super science'.”

“Sorry.” Xander said with a soft smile. “Never saw that happen. Even if I did, it was an alternate timeline so there's no telling.”

Charles nodded. “It was worth a shot. So, why did you focus on Betsy?”

“She was the only one that was currently single and that had the least emotional baggage.” Xander shrugged. “Besides, it kept it contained. We really didn't need that particular elephant in the room to happen.” He said as he pointed at the TV that had been used to show the simulation. “Later Prof.”

“Safe Journeys Alexander.” Professor Xavier said as the man left via the secret passage. "Safe Journeys for you and your new family."


TBC....? Nah.
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