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Summary: In honor of Dogbertcarroll's 'Flickering Lights', a bunch of mostly Xander centered one-shots.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralCrazyDanFR186871,01739964571,29416 Feb 1215 Oct 14No

Oops....

Hercules and associated characters are Greek and roman myths that were reinterpreted by Christian Williams into Hercules: The Legendary Journeys which had the Magic 'Rami Touch' added to it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created by Joss Whedon. This is a work of fan-fiction so sit back and enjoy the odd ride.

Oops....

“Should we be doing this?” Oz asked Xander as they not so casually walked through City Hall.

“Probably not, but the Mayor's dead and girls are shopping. I'm curious to see what all this guy has stashed away here. He did found this town after all.” Xander shrugged. “Who knows what kind of mystical do dads he has lying around.”

“Which is why we shouldn't be doing this.” Oz said a little more forcefully.

“So... you don't want to rob his house later?” Xander asked. “He might have quite the phonograph collection.”

“I didn't say that.” Oz said quickly. “Let's just be quick about this.” He said as he started to pick the lock on the door to the Mayor's office.

Xander sighed before actually trying the door. It was unlocked.

“You're no fun.” Oz muttered.

“Whatever.” Xander said as he looked around the well lit office. “Ooh! Mini-fridge! Dibs on what's inside!”

Oz shrugged as he headed for the Mayor's desk and started trying the drawers. He quickly found the locked one and began picking it. “Anything good in there?” Oz asked as he worked on the lock.

“Just some weird Jell-O.” Xander said as he sniffed the stuff in the tupperware. “Ooh. Kind of smells like peaches.”

“Hmm.” Oz said as he managed to open the desk drawer. Inside the drawer was a leather-bound book. Oz gingerly picked up the book and set it down on the desk. He calmly grabbed the letter opener off of the desk and used it to open the journal. “Woah.”

“What is it?” Xander asked around a mouthful of the strange Jell-O. “Anything good?”

“Did you eat all of that Jell-O?” Oz asked.

Swallowing the last mouthful Xander belched a little. “I called dibs. You heard me.”

“If I'm reading this right that wasn't really Jell-O” Oz said as he turned to stare at Xander.

Paling, Xander stared at the teen. “What was it? It wasn't demon crap or something was it?”

“Not demon. No.” Oz said. “That was the Mayor's backup if the ascension fell through. He didn't know if it was real or not.

“What is it exactly?” Xander asked.

“Ambrosia.” Oz said. “Supposedly.”

“Like in the food of the Gods?” Xander screamed. “How was that a back up? Where did he even get something like that?”

“It says here he got it from a deal with some demons who were followers of ancient destroyer god called Dahak. It's useless to everyone except humans.” Oz said. “Which is ironic if you think about it.”

“I think I need to sit down.” Xander said before sitting on the floor. “So... now what?”

“Well... The Mayor made some notes about it, but if it's true there is someone we can talk to about it.” Oz said. “You're not going to believe it.”

“Who? Who can we possibly talk to about me becoming a God?” Xander asked.

“Kevin Sorbo.” Oz said. “Turns out, he really is Hercules.”

“Huh.” Xander said remembering bits and pieces of the show he'd caught on weekends. “So... if I am a god. What kind of a god am I?”

“Considering it's you.... probably a chaos god.” Oz ventured.

Xander nodded before his body exploded into a thousand tiny points of light.

Once his vision returned to him, Oz quickly left the Mayor's office. He needed to tell the others about this.



Elsewhere.....

“What the...” Xander said as he looked around. Wherever he was, it was mostly in ruins. He saw strong hints of greek architecture in the fallen pillars around him but the place was desolate. Abandoned.

“Where am I and why am I naked?” Xander asked as he started exploring the place. He found what looked to be an old wardrobe. He opened the door and found a bunch of black leather outfits inside.

“Well, this place is drafty.” Xander muttered before taking out one of the leather outfits and slowly managing to put it on.

“Who Dares!” A woman's voice bellowed. “Who dares enters my son's chambers!”

“Oh crap.” Xander said as a short, black haired woman wearing equally dark leather stormed into the 'room' from a door that wasn't there a second before.

“It's not what it looks like!” Xander said. “I ate some funky Jell-O and wound up here naked!”

The woman snorted. “Likely story. What pantheon are you from? You have some balls to show up in Strife's chambers and donning his clothes.”

“I'm serious.” Xander said. “I ended up here naked after eating Ambrosia.”

“Stay here.” The woman growled before storming back out of the room. The door vanishing after she left.

“Like I know how to leave.” Xander muttered.

“See!” The woman's voice came as the door reappeared a few moments later. “There is someone here.”

“Well well.” A smug voice said as a man dressed in black leather entered the room.

“Holy crap. Oz wasn't kidding.” Xander muttered as he finally recognized the pair as Ares and Eris. “Kevin Sorbo really is Hercules!”

“What are we going to do to him Ares?” Eris demanded. “He's wearing Strife's clothes! In his room!”

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves.” Ares said as he stared at the newcomer. “Can't you feel it?”

“Feel what?” Eris said. “Annoyance? Anger? I've got that in spades.”

“I know.” Ares grinned. “You know humans can be reborn. They have souls. So do gods.”

“What. You mean.... no!” Eris said in disbelief. “Why now? After all this time?”

“What's going on?” Xander asked. “I know I ate Ambrosia from some followers of this Dragnet guy and a TV show is more real than I thought it was.”

“See... that's what I'm talking about. It's him.” Ares said smugly. “Strife has returned to us.”

“My son!” Eris said before latching onto Xander and nearly breaking his spine as she hugged him. “You've come back!”

“Umm... what?” Xander asked.

“Don't worry. We'll explain everything.” Ares assured him. “So... who were you before this?”

“Xander Harris from Sunnydale.” Xander told them.

Ares and Eris looked at each other and then at Xander before they started laughing.

“Oh the Fates are so pissed at you.” Ares chuckled. “I guess we know why now don't we?”

“Finally, something that makes sense about today!” Eris crowed. “My beloved boy is back!”

“You guys know I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about right?” Xander asked them.

“Clipshow time!” Eris announced.

“Dammit. I hate clipshows.” Xander muttered.

“Who doesn't?” Areas grinned. “But they have their uses.”

TBC.....?
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