Whatever you do, don't take him to your leader
AN: I don't own Buffy or The Hulk or any characters related to them. I actually blame Bif Naked for this one. Remember folks this is fanfiction. No profit is made here, well at least none for me anyways.
“How the hell do I keep getting into these situations?” Xander asked himself as after waking up to find that he was strapped to some kind of examination table.
For the third time this summer.
“I really should have planned my road trip better.” Xander muttered.
Granted the first two times this had happened he ended up having some very good times with some incredibly kinky women, but this place felt more like a lab than a bordello or a small-town librarian's basement.
In short, he was in trouble. With a capital T.
Now that he was awake, he was also pretty bored.
“The least they could do is have some sort of elevator music.” Xander sighed as he continued to stare at the wall in front of him. “Then again, that can be torture too.”
Xander was about to start a rousing rendition of '99 Bottles' when a door located somewhere behind him opened up.
Xander failed to turn his head to see whoever it was that entered the room, but the person who did soon entered his field of vision.
“Dear god you must drive all of the hatters mad.” Xander said as he stared at the green skinned man with the overly tall forehead.
“You know... that's actually the first time anyone's said that to me.” The man said with a snort. “Not that it matters much Mr. Harris. You're not here for your so called 'witty banter'.”
“Then enlighten me.” Xander said. “I have no beef with you, hell I haven't even seen you before today. What's the skinny and why am I tied down?”
“Well one of my informants noted how you have a passing resemblance to someone I despise and thought you might make for good target practice.” The green skinned man said. “So, being the inquisitive person that I am, I did a little research.”
“Blah blah blah.” Xander said. “Quit monologuing and get to the point Beldar.”
The man's skin tone darkened a little bit before he took a deep breath to calm himself.
“As I was saying.” The man began. “You Xander Harris are not only the Incredible Hulk's fifth cousin, but you share a 98 percent similar genetic profile with him. Something that's fairly astronomical when you take into account standard variants and the genetic profiles of your parents.”
“Oh crap.” Xander said as he remembered something. “You're the dude that builds the giant robots and stuff aren't you?”
“Yes.” The man said. “I am that....'Dude'. But you can call me your Leader.” The man grinned. "As for the 'stuff' I do, I'm one of the world's foremost experts on the mutating effects of Gamma Radiation. Something you're going to experience first hand."
"Well....shit." Xander muttered.