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I Remember.

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This story is No. 11 in the series "Adventures of a Slayer & a Time Lord". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: "And the times we had, eh? Would of had... never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Alien and the Slayer. And the days that never came." Buffy/Eleven

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: The DoctorChloeBlackFR1313,499131,2556 Mar 126 Mar 12Yes

I don’t own Buffy or DW. Big shocker, I know. The very first part is a quote from ‘The Big Bang’. I’ve doctored (hehehe) it up a bit. AKA I’ve made it so it refers to Buffy and not Amy. :)

There are references in here to certain series five…adventures…that the Doctor and Buffy have had together since we last saw them in story #10. (Vincent and the Doctor; The Lodger; The Pandorica Opens & The Big Bang to be specific) Also, some Tenth Doctor adventures that haven’t made their appearance in this series. I didn’t write them out so if you’re confused or thinking you’ve missed something…….you haven’t. :] I might write them out in the future, though. I am going to take a bit of a break and focus on some other stories, but after that we shall see :]

Buffy’s POV.

I Remember

‘It's funny. I thought if you could hear me, I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have your mum, your sister and your friends back... and…you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's okay. We're all stories in the end. Even you. Especially you. Just make it a good one, eh? ‘Cause it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box, Buffy. You'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient. And the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would of had... never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Alien and the Slayer. And the days that never came. The cracks are closing. But they can't close properly until I'm on the other side. I don't belong here any more. You may forget about me…but I’ll never forget you. Never. I…I lov-I…think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love your friends and your family. (kisses her forehead for a long moment) Bye bye, sweetheart.’*

I awoke with the familiar monologue still playing in my head. I absentmindedly wiped at the top of forehead with the back of my hand, like someone had kissed it. I opened my eyes, somewhat expecting to see the narrator sitting by my bed. Instead, I saw Jack standing in my doorway, raising his eyebrow at me.

I had a moment of ‘wtf is he doing here’ before I remembered.

Jack and I had been working undercover in Las Vegas for the Council. There had been some demon-y type murders in Cleveland, where I had seemingly based myself after the fall of Sunnydale (after an extended holiday in Europe of course), and we followed the culprits here.

I’m honestly not sure how Jack fits into my life. I can’t properly remember the first time I met him…I try and I just can’t. It feels like I’ve known him my entire life, yet…I don’t know. It’s just weird. Such is my life though. I’ve learned to ignore the weirdness and just get on with it.

I know that I can trust him with my life—I have trusted him with my life---and that’s all that really seems to matter in those pesky life-or-death-moment-of-truth-situations.

“Jack, what have I told you about creeping on me while I’m sleeping?” I said, sliding out of my bed and towards my suitcase.

He grinned that beautiful, charismatic smile. The one that could get you to do anything he wanted. Literally. I’ve been there. I’d rather not talk about it.

“I can’t help that you’re deliciously gorgeous. I wasn’t ‘creeping’ on you, though. You were talking again.” he said, turning his back so I could have privacy.

I stripped off my dirty clothes and pulled on a clean outfit.

“Oh. What did I say?” I asked, nonchalantly, as I pulled my hair into a lazy pony tail.

Jack turned back around and opened his mouth to answer but my phone started to ring, cutting him off.

I grabbed it and answered without looking down at the number.


“Buffy! Honey, I was just calling to check in and see how everything was going in Las Vegas.”

I (literally) dropped everything that I was doing at the sound of the voice on the other line. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. And impossible things just didn’t happen. Well, you know what I meant.

“Who is this?” I growled into the receiver.

“Buffy, it’s me. It’s your mother.” the voice said, in a worried tone.

“Impossible. My mother is dead.”

“Buffy! Oh dear. Have you been having the nightmares again? It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m okay. Dawn’s okay. Tara and Anya are….well, we’re all okay. I promise. We’re alive and healthy and everything is fine.”

My head was spinning and it wasn’t a good feeling. This just didn’t seem right.

“But I remember…I remember finding your body on the sofa and I remember watching Dawn jump into the portal with……”

Small flashes of pictures ambushed my thoughts. An electric blue box. A very skinny man with crazy brownish hair and a long, tan trench coat. A man with wild dark brown hair, wearing a tweed jacket and a bow-tie.

“……..the Doctor.” I whispered into the phone.

My mother sighed into the receiver. “Oh, Buffy. Not this again. How many times have we gone over this? The Doctor isn’t real. He’s just a figment of your imagination. You’ve talked about him ever since you were a little girl. You’re nearly thirty years old. I think it’s time you dropped the imaginary friend act, sweetheart. People may start talking.”

I breathed deeply and frantically. “Right. Of course, you’re right. Sorry, Mom. It was just a nightmare. You’re right….but I have to go. I need to pack still. I’ll call you later, okay? Love you.”

I hung up before she had a chance to say anything else. Jack had moved himself into the living room, giving me some privacy while I was on the phone. I opened my bedroom door and slowly walked out, sitting next to him on the sofa.

We shared a few completely awkward sentences about the weather, our plans for the day and what time our flight was tomorrow and then we were silent for a few minutes. I tried to think back as far as I could.

“Jack, this is going to sound completely strange but what exactly is the status of our relationship?”

To my complete and utter surprise, he burst out into laughter.

“What?” I asked, confused.

He quieted down and turned towards me. “While I would love to have you as my very own, at least for a few marvelous nights, you’re completely off limits, Princess. And before you ask, no, I can’t explain that. But for this particular undercover operation, we were posing as a married couple. Speaking of, we should probably pack so we can get back to Cleveland by tomorrow morning.”

I nodded. “Right. Sorry…I forgot.”

“Buffy, what’s up? Are you feeling alright?” he asked, concerned.

I sighed and took a deep breath. “This is all really really weird.”

“What is?”

“It’s like… all of a sudden, I have all these different memories. But they don’t add up.”


I stared Jack in the eyes.

“The Doctor. Tell me about him.”

Jack’s playful expression quickly turned serious and his whole body stiffened.

“Buffy, he’s not real. He’s just—“

“I swear to God if you say that he’s just a figment of my imagination, I’m throwing you out that window. I don’t buy it. He’s real. I know he is.” I said.


I flew up off the couch.

“Jack, I remember. The first time I met him…and Rose. When he came back after I died….he thought I was the Buffy-Bot. After The First…the first place he took me was to London in 1599 and we met Shakespeare. I remember the Daleks. Both times I’ve faced them. I remember…Salem. That…that’s the first time I met you. I remember my surprise party and I remember Dawn dying. I remember being chained up on the Valiant with you during the year that never was. I remember the parallel universe we got sucked into. I remember that I almost died. And he regenerated. I remember Cardiff and Willow and the alternate version of Tara flying out of the Rift…it was caused by the crack in Amy’s wall! I remember Torchwood…Gwen, Owen, Ianto and Tosh. I remember Amy and Rory and….Vincent! God, I remember Vincent! The Pandorica….Rory the Roman…not only that, but I remember my mother dying. I remember Tara getting shot. I remember Anya not being there as we fled Sunnydale. Yet, I remember speaking to all of them just before we left Cleveland. I remember Xander and Anya’s wedding. You were my date. And we sat with Tara and Willow. Yet, I remember Willow going dark and I remember seeing Tara’s dead body. Jack. I. Remember. Everything. Literally, everything.” I sobbed.

The look on Jack’s face was pure horror.

A small, sad smile grew amongst my tears.

“And him. The Doctor. No. My Doctor. I remember him. The first time I met him, he was skinny, really skinny. Extremely tall, though, compared to me, everyone’s tall. The brown suit. And the navy one. And his hair…it was so…wild and unkempt. And then, after he regenerated, I remember, he was so…. different. He never saw himself as that, but he was. He really was. Not only looks wise and for the love of God, what was he thinking with the damn fez?! But on the inside, he was different still. He always said he wasn’t, but he was and I knew it. Know it. He’s confrontational. And he gets angry. But he still would never portray violence. And insanely brilliant. And…mad. Completely insane. The mad man with the little blue box. The little blue box…..the…the…the TARDIS. I called it home for so long…how could I ever forget about it? An object so…so…ridiculous! Completely ridiculous! Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient. And the bluest blue ever. It was my home…it is my home.”

I sunk down to the floor, crying quietly to myself, silently begging my Doctor to come back. Jack just stayed seated on the sofa, quiet and still, completely unsure about what to do.

After a few very strained minutes, an extremely familiar whirring-whooshing noise filled the entire suite. I watched as Jack stood and smiled. My eyes grew wide, still filled with tears. I stood, cautiously.

“I believe I’ve been summoned? Yes?”

The Doctor—my Doctor--- stepped out of the TARDIS. He was exactly as I’d left him. Tweed jacket, braces and a crimson red bow-tie.

He smiled at me, lovingly, as he walked up, opening his arms, expecting an embrace.

Instead, I slapped him across the face.

Jack exploded into laughter.

“What in the bloody hell was that for?!?! Blimey that hurt.” the Doctor said, rubbing the spot on his face where I had slapped him.

“Where should I start? I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that you left me or the fact that you tried to make me forget you.”

He looked over my shoulder to Jack, who took the hint and excused himself from the room.

The Doctor pulled me into his arms. He leaned his forehead onto mine.

“It was the only way. The universe was collapsing in on itself. I did what I had to do. If it makes you feel better, Amy and Rory have no memory of me at all. I had Jack pop in on their wedding. Said it was a blast. Shame. I love weddings.”

I smiled. “You don’t love weddings. You love to dance like an idiot at the reception.”

“Oh, I do love to dance.”

“How come I remember?”

“You’ve been having dreams I gather?”

“Yes. The same dream, actually. Over and over. I’m in a small, dark room. Wood paneled. It has a very library feel to it except there’s no books. Only a single chair sitting in the middle of the floor. I’m told to sit so I do. There’s a sort of…narrator that I can’t see. He tells me a story. About a silly old Doctor and a magnificent blue box. Big and little all at once. And stolen—“

“Borrowed without permission with the intent to return. There’s a difference.”

“The narrator. It’s you, isn’t it?”

He stared me in the eyes for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, it’s me.”


He smiled. “I told you that story on purpose. So you would remember. Do you honestly think that I wanted you to forget me? After everything that we’ve been through? There’s no way I’d let you forget.”

“What about Mom? And Dawn? Tara, Anya?”

“The universe was already in the middle of collapsing and history was beginning to rewrite itself. I sent the alternate reality version of Tara back to her home dimension and then went back and…rewrote time. Just a little bit. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt if I meddled with a few extra things. Amy’s got her parents back as well.”

“I bet Amy doesn’t remember them dying.” I said, quietly.

“What? What did you say?”

“I remember. Everything. I remember finding my mother’s dead body on the sofa and I remember Dawn jumping into the portal. I was completely shocked when Mom called this morning, yet, at the same time, I remember her kissing me on the cheek as I boarded the flight to come here. I remember Dawn calling me yesterday. I remember when Tara got shot and I remember Anya not making it out of Sunnydale, yet I remember seeing them just a short time ago in Scotland.”

“Oh….that’s extremely very not good.”

“Why do I remember?”

The Doctor released me and whipped out his sonic. He buzzed it all around me and then held it up, waiting for results. The sonic beeped and his face fell a bit. He started to pace.

“Buffy, sweetheart, after the parallel dimension, when…..”

“When I was dying.”

“Yes, that. When we got to the hospital, I did something extremely stupid. No. Not stupid. Kind of stupid. But not.”

“You gave me your blood.”

“I gave you---wait, how did you know?”

“Dawn. When I was in the coma, I told you she visited me. I just didn’t tell you all of what she said.”

“This is very important Buffy, what did she say? Exactly, if you can.”

I closed me eyes and lets my thoughts drift back.

‘You’ve been...altered a bit yourself. You’ll find out how soon…just promise me that you won’t kill him for what he did. He honestly didn’t know what he was doing. Well, I shouldn’t say that. He knew what he was doing, he just didn’t know the consequences. He was completely devastated and he was just kind of going with the flow of things at that point…he was trying to save your life. It lives within him and now within you.'

“You’ve known this? All along? Buffy, what have you known?” he asked, urgently.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

“Remember when you got locked out of the TARDIS and it was just Amy and I trying to fly her around while you played human?”

The Doctor nodded.

“Some things came up and Amy told me…well, I noticed that you had seemed a little distant from me after Vincent. I asked her if she knew why. She told me that she heard you playing with the sonic doo-hickey and she was going to see if you needed help with
anything but when she got to the door, she heard---“

“She heard me say that my Time Lord DNA mixed in with your Slayer DNA.”

“In a nutshell, yes.”

“Well, it should be okay now. Since the universe restarted. I didn’t exist so we never
met so therefore we never got sucked into the parallel universe with Angelus--“

“It’s not.” I said, interrupting what was sure to be a monologue-sized sentence.


“It’s not. I still have it.”

The Doctor started pacing again.

“Right. That’s what I was figuring because I mean, if you didn’t have it, you never
would’ve remembered. You only remember because I remember.”

“Doctor, that’s kinda not how I figured it out.” Memories of this life were stirring around in my mind, pushing the old, well, the real memories out of the way.

The Doctor stopped pacing and stared at me.

“How then?”

I pulled my tee shirt up over my head to reveal several nasty looking scars over my chest.

“I was chasing down a few thugs that I thought might’ve had some information on this demon murderer that we’ve been tailing the other night when they pulled out guns and started shooting. Each of these scars is a bullet wound, I’m figuring. Funny thing is, as I laid on the ground, dying, in some disgusting Las Vegas alleyway, I started glowing. It was all gold and sparkly and….warm. Very familiar and I couldn’t barely figure out why. I passed out after that. Woke up the next morning. Jack was being really really weird about the whole thing. Said that I must’ve been hallucinating from the loss of blood. That he found me and I Slayer healed overnight. But….somehow, I knew differently.”

The Doctor’s mouth was hanging open wide.


“Looks like it.”

“But but….how? I mean, you still look like you. Short. Blonde. Green eyes. Same muscle tone. Same….everything. How how how how?”

He started pacing again.

“You’re the genius. You tell me.”

Suddenly, the Doctor slapped himself on the forehead.

“Of course! I’m such an idiot! There’s only a tiny bit of Time Lord DNA in your system. Your Slayer DNA must’ve locked onto it.”

“Meaning………..” I pressed.

“Meaning, sweetheart, that your locked into a regeneration loop. Just like Jack. Well, kind of like Jack. Varying situations, of course. His is to do with the TARDIS, not my DNA. Though, it does make sense why you’re shacking up with him, I guess. Why are you shacking up with him, now that I think about it?”

I shook my head. “Regeneration loop? Meaning, like, this will happen every time? I’ll get all glow-y and then in a few days *POOF*, good as new?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. I wouldn’t call it immortality though because well, I haven’t had time to study it yet obviously. Normally, Time Lords have a certain amount of designated regenerations that we’re allowed to use and you’ve only got just the tiniest bit in you….so just be careful.”

“Why are you talking like you’re leaving without me?”

“You never answered my question about Jack.”

“We were working undercover here for the Council. That’s it. Wait, are you jealous? Of Jack?”

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. “Well, then, if you can forgive me for almost making you forget about me and possibly turning you part Time Lord, er, Lady, I would love for you to join me aboard the TARDIS. She misses you, you know. She’s been all whiney. I miss you. I’ve been all whiney.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this. Can Jack come?”

“Jack. The man that almost had you murdered in the Salem Witch Trials. You want him to come. With us. On the TARDIS. Throughout space and time.” He waved his hands about at the end of the sentence.

“You forget, he helped us out a lot after that. With…Dawn. He suffered right along with both you and I on the Valiant. And then again in Cardiff, with Willow and Tara. He doesn’t really have anywhere to go now. And he’s been my partner for what, well, how long have you been gone?”

“Not sure. You know how time travel is.”


The Doctor sighed. “Fine. Jack can come too.”

I grinned and ran into my bedroom, grabbing my phone and the scythe….my baby. I ran back out, past the Doctor, yelling for Jack to hurry up and get in here.

He came rushing into the living room.

“What?! What is it?”

“So, I was thinking that I’d like to get back to the whole non-Slayer world for awhile. And I was thinking that you’d like to join us.” I said, nodding behind me to the TARDIS.

Jack grinned wide as he slid into his ever present military coat. “Oh I thought you’d never ask.”

The End

You have reached the end of "I Remember.". This story is complete.

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