How It Didn't Happen

Note: Just to clarify this is not a continuation of the previous chapters, but an parody alternative that didn't happen. The story, as such, ends with the previous chapter. If there is a sequel (do not hold your breath) then it will continue from chapter 5. Just so you know.

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Jack checked the apartment number then knocked on the door. After a moment, the door was opened by a beautiful young blonde, who smiled broadly.

“Welcome in, older male person who I have never met before. Would you like a soda or another caffeinated drink? My name is Anya, and I am an eleven-hundred year old former Justice Demon.”

Jack blinked; that was different. Well, at least she said former Justice Demon, whatever that was. “Uh, thanks. And I’ll have a Coke, if you have one.”

Anya smiled, and darted off to the kitchen to fetch his drink.

While she was doing that, a dark-haired young man walked out of the bedroom, and spotted Jack. “Ah, Ahn? Who’s this?”

Anya reappeared from the kitchen, carrying Jack’s drink. “This man knocked on our door, and I let him in because he has friendly eyes, and a nice body for an older man. I was thinking that maybe we could play Stern Teacher and Naughty Students, since you won’t ask Giles to play with us.”

Unfortunately, Jack chosen just that moment to take a sip. It took him a few moments to get his breathing back to normal, with the horrified young man offering a few hearty thumps to his back in-between apologies. Finally, he held his hand up, and concentrated on calming himself. “I’m fine,” he managed finally.

The young man cleared his throat. “Okay, so, uh, sorry about … that. But can I ask: what are you doing here?”

“Well, as it happens, I was looking for my son, Xander Harris,” Jack explained. “I was just informed about his existence, and so had to come meet him for myself.”

“Your son?” the young man gaped. “You’re my daddy?” he squeaked.

“Ah… Yes?” Jack tried.

“Daddy!” Xander greeted, throwing his arms around the older man and enveloping him in a hearty hug. “Tony always said I wasn’t his kid, and now I know he was telling the truth the whole time!” He stepped back and wiped joyful tears from his eyes. “Ahn! Call Buffy and the others, and let’s have a party. We can introduce my dad, and tell him all about vampires and witches, and, of course, Slayers. It’s going to be so cool!”

“Vampires?” Jack asked, surprised. “So that girl really was trying to bit me? I thought she was just trying to give me a hickey. Just as well I’d taken that holy water bath like my friend told me to.”

“Holy water bath!” Xander snapped his fingers. “I knew there was something more I could have suggested to Buffy when she was dating Angel. Anyway, I have to take my dad to get some food for the party. Maybe we can stop by the Magic Box on the way.”

“So… Magic, huh?” Jack asked.

“Oh, yeah. My best friend from Kindergarten is a total witch,” Xander nodded. “So is her girlfriend,” he added chirpily.

“Cool,” Jack nodded.